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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think there's an awful attitude on MN to cosmetic procedures?

276 replies

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 08:47

Morning all.
trying not to make this a taat. There is a current thread running about a woman who had 0.5 lip filler, and her husband isn't happy about it. The comments are filled with bitchy, nasty women tearing her down.
multiple women on here say that anyone with cosmetic procedures looks 'fake, like a blow up doll, like a prostitute, like a duck, trout pout' and the list goes on. The comments are abhorrent. Yes, there are some very bad / botched jobs out there. But so many posters say 'filler never looks good, you can always tell' etc etc. you wouldn't notice good filler, that's the point. You will evidently notice bad filler.

cosmetic prosecutes can be invaluable to people. I was diagnosed with an incurable cancer at 23, gruelling chemotherapy sapped every single bit of life out of my face. I aged overnight. I've had cosmetic work done to my face to try and get a bit of normality back, it's been a godsend for me. No amount of therapy or counselling would've done that. And some people don't want therapy or counselling! Some people aren't doing it to be vein, some are like me and doing it for my reasons. Also, so what if people are doing it for vanity! It's so nice to read the assumption that I look like a blow up doll, and that I look fake. Without even seeing my face and without knowing what I've been through.

AIBU to think this whole 'trout pout, every woman with filler looks like XYZ' is just horrible? The comments on the other thread are nothing short of bullying.

if you're one that judges so badly on what other people do, why? Why do you care? If you do judge, you are not on some sort of morale high ground because you're 'au natural.'

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
bluesriff · 01/06/2025 09:46

StepawayfromtheLindors · 01/06/2025 08:57

Put it another way: why is there pressure from social media for women to look a certain way? Maybe MN users are trying to challenge this. Cosmetic procedures have become very normalised to the point where young women look at their faces and just see problems that need to be fixed.

The way to challenge beauty standards and raise women's self esteem is to insult them and tell them they look hideous and like blow up dolls? isnt that rather akin to "solving" the obesity problem by insulting people about their weight? Calling people names is not going to suddenly absolve them of media pressure, its going to drive their self esteem lower.

OP- I know exactly what you mean about the weird attitude on here to cosmetic surgery. Noone is saying everyone should have it but the vitriol and nastiness I have seen on here is really quite something to behold. Yet you do it about literally any other lifestyle choice and you get told you are judgey, mean spirited and rude. It's completely bizarre.

Personally I think some if it is jealousy and insecurity. For example, I dont particularly like piercings and wouldnt have one but I dont vilify and castigate anyone who does- I just think, good for them if they like it. There is a specific reason why there is an underlying bitterness with cosmetic stuff and I dont think it can be explained adequately by a simple "objection" to social media ideals. That does not explain the hate that is directed towards the women themselves rather than the industry that promotes it.

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:46

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:45

Ah, so it's only okay for someone to have cosmetic procedures if it meets your criteria of 'necessary.'

got it.

Yes, all proposed filler applications must be approved by me op.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:47

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:46

Of course, hardened chemicals under the skin is not good. Everything in the body is working in synchronicity, adding concrete to the face is bad news.

Do you think the same of piercings, tattoos and other foreign bodies?

OP posts:
PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:47

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:46

Yes, all proposed filler applications must be approved by me op.

Seems that way.

OP posts:
ShiningStar3 · 01/06/2025 09:47

Rather than shitting on women for wanting to fit into beauty standards we should focus our ire on the cosmetics companies that profit off of body dysmorphia and societal pressure.

I'm sure a lot of people calling those with fillers sex dolls also view women that don't have makeup, hair and nails done as slovenly and unkempt.

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 01/06/2025 09:47

I agree OP but I can also see the POV of the filler/Botox haters. There are some horrific plastic faces out there.

My DD had half a ml of lip filler and it honestly looked nothing like the trout pouts you see everywhere these days.

I love a good upper face full of Botox myself and whilst I don't look overly "done" (I hope!), a professional or anyone with some knowledge of Botox would know I'd had it.

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:47

You are conflating medical need for cosmetic need. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for you to differentiate between the two.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:47

bluesriff · 01/06/2025 09:46

The way to challenge beauty standards and raise women's self esteem is to insult them and tell them they look hideous and like blow up dolls? isnt that rather akin to "solving" the obesity problem by insulting people about their weight? Calling people names is not going to suddenly absolve them of media pressure, its going to drive their self esteem lower.

OP- I know exactly what you mean about the weird attitude on here to cosmetic surgery. Noone is saying everyone should have it but the vitriol and nastiness I have seen on here is really quite something to behold. Yet you do it about literally any other lifestyle choice and you get told you are judgey, mean spirited and rude. It's completely bizarre.

Personally I think some if it is jealousy and insecurity. For example, I dont particularly like piercings and wouldnt have one but I dont vilify and castigate anyone who does- I just think, good for them if they like it. There is a specific reason why there is an underlying bitterness with cosmetic stuff and I dont think it can be explained adequately by a simple "objection" to social media ideals. That does not explain the hate that is directed towards the women themselves rather than the industry that promotes it.

Yep I completely agree!

OP posts:
librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:48

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:47

Do you think the same of piercings, tattoos and other foreign bodies?

They don’t migrate and harden though. You’re not very good at sticking to the point.

CharlotteRumpling · 01/06/2025 09:48

ShiningStar3 · 01/06/2025 09:47

Rather than shitting on women for wanting to fit into beauty standards we should focus our ire on the cosmetics companies that profit off of body dysmorphia and societal pressure.

I'm sure a lot of people calling those with fillers sex dolls also view women that don't have makeup, hair and nails done as slovenly and unkempt.

Edited

How do we do that?

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:48

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:47

You are conflating medical need for cosmetic need. I’m not sure why it’s so hard for you to differentiate between the two.

There was absolutely no medical need for me to get any work done to my face. It wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome of my treatment and health.

OP posts:
ShakeItLoose · 01/06/2025 09:48

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:40

Here you go then, pick the bones out of that, which is my face. No filter on it.

tell me what you think looks bad, and what looks fake.

genuinely looking for answers here so go to town!

You have an issue with bullying and then you ask people to tell you what looks bad on your face??? Oh dear. I hope no one actually does this OP but you really are your own worst enemy.

CharlotteRumpling · 01/06/2025 09:49

Posting pix of yourself on the net is a bad idea, OP.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Koalafan · 01/06/2025 09:49

I wouldn't berate anyone for making their own choices about their own lives, but I do think the majority of folk who've had fillers or botox are deluding themselves that it looks remotely natural.

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:49

CharlotteRumpling · 01/06/2025 09:49

Posting pix of yourself on the net is a bad idea, OP.

I'm genuinely intrigued by what people think I've had done and what is fake looking if it's so evident.

OP posts:
MyCyanReader · 01/06/2025 09:50

No one can possibly think Katie Price looks good?!?!?!?

To want to distort your body in that way - she clearly has MH issues.

You are speaking of completely separate things. Having minor stuff done for medical reasons is nothing like distorting your face with fillers. And people making the comments are clearly not referring to the latter.

Renabrook · 01/06/2025 09:50

bluesriff · 01/06/2025 09:46

The way to challenge beauty standards and raise women's self esteem is to insult them and tell them they look hideous and like blow up dolls? isnt that rather akin to "solving" the obesity problem by insulting people about their weight? Calling people names is not going to suddenly absolve them of media pressure, its going to drive their self esteem lower.

OP- I know exactly what you mean about the weird attitude on here to cosmetic surgery. Noone is saying everyone should have it but the vitriol and nastiness I have seen on here is really quite something to behold. Yet you do it about literally any other lifestyle choice and you get told you are judgey, mean spirited and rude. It's completely bizarre.

Personally I think some if it is jealousy and insecurity. For example, I dont particularly like piercings and wouldnt have one but I dont vilify and castigate anyone who does- I just think, good for them if they like it. There is a specific reason why there is an underlying bitterness with cosmetic stuff and I dont think it can be explained adequately by a simple "objection" to social media ideals. That does not explain the hate that is directed towards the women themselves rather than the industry that promotes it.

Jealousy of what? What is people who fake their body doing that others are jealous of?

That always seems a line used on here 'they're just jealous' but jealous of what?

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:50

ShakeItLoose · 01/06/2025 09:48

You have an issue with bullying and then you ask people to tell you what looks bad on your face??? Oh dear. I hope no one actually does this OP but you really are your own worst enemy.

Oh no, I don't care about what people say about me!

im tough as nails, i care about women in general being bullied about what they choose to their faces.

im not my own worst enemy at all, im actually very kind to myself and comfortable in my skin. Thanks for the concern.

OP posts:
Koalafan · 01/06/2025 09:50

StepawayfromtheLindors · 01/06/2025 08:57

Put it another way: why is there pressure from social media for women to look a certain way? Maybe MN users are trying to challenge this. Cosmetic procedures have become very normalised to the point where young women look at their faces and just see problems that need to be fixed.

Yes, definitely this!

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:51

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:48

There was absolutely no medical need for me to get any work done to my face. It wouldn't have made any difference to the outcome of my treatment and health.

Right, what is it the point you’re making? You might be better revisiting when you have your own stance. Is this about the lady with 0.5ml from your op, is this about reconstructive measures after a cleft lip or is this about your procedure?

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:51

MyCyanReader · 01/06/2025 09:50

No one can possibly think Katie Price looks good?!?!?!?

To want to distort your body in that way - she clearly has MH issues.

You are speaking of completely separate things. Having minor stuff done for medical reasons is nothing like distorting your face with fillers. And people making the comments are clearly not referring to the latter.

No, I personally don't think KP looks her best.

I wouldn't bully her about it though. That's probably what got her in this mess in the first place.

also, there's a clear difference between subtle tweaks and completely distorting your body.

OP posts:
Koalafan · 01/06/2025 09:52

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:03

Yep I've seen those too.

why do people care so much about what women do to their bodies?

We care that there's societal pressure to do these things. 🙄

Auroraloves · 01/06/2025 09:53

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:35

What? Of course they do? They are doing it to increase the size of their lips, so they’re swollen. The volume has increased. The product migrates up to the space in between the nose and lips, you can see it with side profile.

When I got mine done, I barely got any in the top lip so what you are saying is not always true

PeachSundae · 01/06/2025 09:53

librathroughandthrough · 01/06/2025 09:51

Right, what is it the point you’re making? You might be better revisiting when you have your own stance. Is this about the lady with 0.5ml from your op, is this about reconstructive measures after a cleft lip or is this about your procedure?

It's about cosmetic procedures as a whole.
about how people are so quick to be nasty to other women. How women get berated and insulted.

my point is you can disagree with it in principle but you don't need to be a fucking bully.

OP posts:
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