I just screamed 'Stop bullying my fucking kids' at my husband.

[thenoodlemachine]

He was shouting at them and they were both crying. I lost it. I am feeling very fragile so please be nice.

Hope you are ok OP.
are the kids with you?

How old are they.and what else was happening?
Are they his kids?

No judgement OP. Is this part of an ongoing problem?

Well done, I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s done this for you to have a strong reaction. I hate it when adults shout at crying kids. They’re kids and we all make mistakes. They’re still learning is shouting at them isn’t going to help.

Yes they are his kids. He and I had rowed over housework and he was shouting at 12 year old DD over her bedroom. 17 year old DD shouted at him to stop shouting at her because she was crying. Then all three of us were crying and he kept shouting.

I cannot abide shouty people. It makes everything so incredibly unpleasant.

Did he have a good reason for shouting? Not that shouting ever helps anything.

Hope you’re okay, take some time to settle down and relax with your daughters

your DH should be ashamed of himself and apologise profusely to you all

I have been getting annoyed the last few months over unequal distribution of housework. I ended up crying and screaming at him a few months ago because he said I was escalating when I brought it up after I had been snappy.

If I'm reading correctly everyone here was shouting? Which clearly isn't great, or a healthy family pattern, but it isn't quite the same as everyone else being cowed and DH alone going around shouting.

I know I sound insane. I have never screamed at anyone in my life. We have been together 20 years. I feel like I need to be on antipsychotics or something. What can I do to feel less terrible?

Sounds like a horrible unsustainable environment.

This isn't a long term thing, it's only been the last couple of months.

do you feel terrible generally?

If you take him out of the situation, is it normal for you to be feeling so bad?

bit concerned that you said you were screaming at him. Has a shouting dynamic evolved in your house? Is it the case that everyone needs to calm down?

Aww, that's awful for you & DC. Heart-breaking if it's a regular thing.

Yes, everyone needs to calm down. I don't know how i let this happen. I know I sound deranged and I'm so gutted.

You don’t need anything because you haven’t done anything wrong. Good for you for standing up to him.

Are they his children too? (Asking because you said stop bullying MY kids rather than OUR kids)

As others have said, I think this has been building up for a while and you've reached your limit.

You do not sound deranged, at least not to me! You sound like you've reached your limit. Everyone shouting and going at each other is enough to try anyone's patience.

Perimenopause maybe? Hormonal changes can reduce your patience and tolerance. Don't beat yourself up, have a calm chat about what the changes you want to see.

He was bullying them.

I'm not sure what you're asking. I'm not going to condone screaming that kind of language at your husband in front of your children, if that's what you're expecting.

It sounds like he was bullying them!

I don’t think you sound insane at all. All three of you were upset by him for one thing.

You do not need medication you need a husband who doesn't shout and scream and infact does his fair share. Who died and made him king? Stop placating him and well done for standing up to him.

Your kids were crying, he was shouting at them, I would have shouted at him too, and told him to leave the house and calm down. You've done nothing wrong OP, he was bullying them and you stood up for them.

Why do you think you sound insane? Is that what he’s told you? Because you really don’t. It sounds like he was bullying all of you!

Yes definitely perimenopause! But I'm just so devastated. I grew up in a house with constant screaming and I thought I would be better than that and I don't know how to make it OK. My husband is a nice guy (really!) but he was yelling at the kids when they were both crying and I was freaking out. But I feel like I made everything a thousand times worse by screaming and swearing like a lunatic.