A 'Wifey' on DH's phone. And its not me.

[Needsomeadvice2234]

Real simple - snooped on DH phone and found a 'Wifey' saved in his contacts - he called this number unanswered a month ago but no history I can see. I called it and rang out then phoned right back. Like an idiot I hung up. Now I'm thinking I should call and find out who the Hell this is....
I'm feeling very sick and scared and just want to bury my head in the sand because I can't believe this...
I have the number. Do I call and find out or ask him first. I'm shaking.

The OP does say she’s been cheated on in the past, not by DH but those feelings stay with you and sometimes you are just a suspicious person and you can’t help it. Not saying it’s right but I can understand why.

Oh Dear.Been following this thread. Tbh I would of believed this from the off OP. Where would someone get your number from in the first place? It's obvious the person knows your DH.

I would of called them and got as much info as possible. Your DH isn't going to tell you.

Not if she doesn’t know the guy is married. Cheaters often cheat on both sides you know, or think themselves too intelligent to be caught…

My assumption would be 'Work Wife' possibly in a jokey way. You say he's not currently working, but could the number belong to someone he used to work with?

Exactly!

This is why I can't understand the overreaction! An OW who only ever received one call from him a month ago which she didn't pick up. No messages, no reciprocal calls, no anything.

This is insane!

The DH and ‘wifey’ are not exactly in regular contact?

Thank you! These replies feel like a parallel universe. Encouraging the most toxic of behaviours in poor OP.

Well, if he’s having an affair he’d have to be pretty dumb to save the contact as Wifey. Did you check his whole contact list? Is “Bit on the side” and “The other woman” listed on there? TBH if I was him now I would be pissed you snooped on my phone and would be adding these to my contacts for when you snoop again next time. It would be embarrassing if “Wifey” turned out to be OPs old phone number which he dialled by mistake a month ago.

Or he deleted the rest of the call logs. She knows his name and his where abouts. It's odd.

The most likely answer here is that someone send him their wife's number for a reason and it was stored in their phone as "wifey" and he just hit save/add to contacts without editing the name.

Or it could be someone hit on him in a pub one night and saved her number as wifey.

It would be beyond dumb to have an affair partner saved as wifey.

I don't buy that he doesn't know anything about it but it's only exactly evidence of an affair with no regular contact.

Now they aren't, maybe they were a year ago. Who knows? DH knows but he's keeping his gob shut and playing dumb.

It’s a woman from work.

Or delete chats and call logs regularly.

Could be have asked for a number he needed and someone sent it across but it saved as the name the other person sent it as? But then him not remembering is odd

Maybe Just ask . Totally understandable to be upset by it ,
take the “ underlying problems” accusations with a pinch of salt.
You looked through DH phone , not sure what the problem is if you have free access to each other’s tablets and phones.

You do you and let others do what’s right for them .
Hope there is an innocent explanation.

Half of this thread is an example of why so many men get away with cheating 🙄

This, I have colleagues who if they cannot remember the name of a specific female will refer to them as “the wife from finance “ or “here’s the wife from health and safety at the door”. They know who it is but cannot remember their name. I’ve had conversations with them about it as it’s not something I’d use despite being from NE, it’s not meant to be at all offensive.

Just call the number?

What I find is a bit patronising about MN is that at the first tangible sign of trouble women are told they have been naive just trusting their DH, of COURSE going to the gym is a sign he has someone else, did she not suspect when he got the membership?, of COURSE men aren’t at work all day when they say they are, of COURSE it wasn’t a conference he went away to. All these things should have been perfectly obvious because … men are men.

But yet looking at their phone would be a paranoid and gross breach of privacy. My DH and I look at each other’s phones all the time. It’s just interesting and sometimes useful. “ Oh, I wonder what the plumber texted back?” “ What time was that grocery delivery ordered for.” If DH was, say, in the shower, of course I’d just check his texts for the time slot. I can’t see a problem unless there’s something to hide … which brings us right back to the start of this post which is that someone women are supposed to have been ultra vigilant about every normal-looking incident.

I've got someone called Michael in my contacts who I haven't got a clue who it is. No WhatsApp pic and no record of me calling them since I've had this phone (2 years) It must be someone I added for some reason (work person i needed to get in touch with or someone doing something on house) but if my husband asked me who it was I wouldn't know what to tell him.

That said the fact that it was only a month ago and he can't remember is odd though. I just can't believe anyone having an affair would be daft enough to list them as Wifey either. I think the key questions here are why you felt you needed to look in his phone in the first place and if you have other suspicions? How has he been since you mentioned it?

I hope you get some clarity soon, it would be bugging me too x

*goes off to delete poor Michael from phone.....

Yeah, he knows

What on earth possessed you to utterly betray somebody else's privacy by snooping on their device?

Just to say - I have free access to his phone and tablet and he doesn't hide anything from me ever - so this has thrown me.

She didn't betray anyone's privacy!

That sounds dodge OP ..
Someone , he has saved in his contacts as wifey & he has no idea who it is !
In his call log that he has called this person..
Something doesn’t add up ….

Maybe I've missed previous, maybe he communicates through a different platform - I simply don't know. I'm not looking further at the moment. I have the number and will simply call it and ask rather than try and imagine endless scenarios. If I'm brave enough.

The fact you caught him texting an old GF before would make me suspicious.