Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

[ProlongedAffair]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

I can’t write on the previous thread anymore, so I’ve created this one for people interested in the outcome of the CMS case. I’m committed to telling people what the outcome is regardless of whether it goes my way or not.

A lesson indeed.

I also admire your transparency and coming back to update the thread.

Based on the information you provided which (a) wasn't true at the time and (b) has changed (since you lost one of the child benefit payments).

Do you? Personally I get the impression that OP is so completely lacking in self-awareness that she's not actually embarrassed by this tragedy of errors, hence why she's happy to continue to update and still very much convinced she's done nothing wrong.

Because when I actually spoke to them, they deemed me the primary carer.

You gave them inaccurate information.

The calculator is simply a rough guide. It all depends on full disclosure of accurate information.

You were advised repeatedly that your ex allowing you to claim CB for both children, despite being 50/50, was the only reason the calculator and CMS deemed you eligible for maintenance. You were advised repeatedly that if he claimed CB he would win and that would stop your CMS claim.

You are not the primary parent. You are 50/50. And actually recently if you were to be pedantic he is the primary parent based on time. And time is what matters for CMs. Not doctors appointments and paperwork.

That he is still willing to be amicable, even now, says a lot for him. You'd be very wise to at least take some steps to protect your co-parenting relationship as this current determinedly destructive mindset you have cannot be positive for your children

I can't believe you thought you had a leg to stand on. You have sabotaged yourself. Have you taken any legal advice at all? Because a solicitor would have told you outright going after CM in a 50/50 residency situation would be a fool's errand.

I'd drop it if I were you.

I'd be surprised if they made you pay CMS payments to him for one child but not the other way around. They will either make you both pay, or neither usually.

Why don’t you work on the bit that sounds like it frustrates you most- that he doesn’t do the leg work on the day to day grind- medical appointments, school meetings etc.

I think you are holding tightly on to control, and you need to let go a little. Let him do the dad work. Stop trying to have everything your way.

Accept the new arrangement and make it work for your dc sake. They don’t want to grow up knowing their parents are at loggerheads and can’t be invited to the same event. That’s an awful state of affairs.

This is a lesson in greed

@GreenGully It just doesn’t seem very fair that I’ve done most the raising of the children for all of these years, he’s swooped in as they’ve got older and it’s been 50/50, now I am not entitled to anything.

But he was paying you before. And the money is not for YOU, it's for your CHILDREN. Please think of your DC and end this amicably while you have the chance. This is not meant to be a windfall for you to profit from, the children are the ones who need support

She said in her other thread that he does take the kids to the appointments and fills out the forms from school when the kids are with him, and she does it when they're with her. It's literally only that the kids are registered with the doctor at her address. She's not doing all of the legwork.

TLDR: WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

It just doesn’t seem very fair that I’ve done most the raising of the children for all of these years, he’s swooped in as they’ve got older and it’s been 50/50, now I am not entitled to anything.

You were receiving £170 odd CB and "a few hundred" in voluntary maintenance from your ex for children you have 50/50.

But why would YOU be entitled to anything anyway?

CMS is meant to be a payment from a parent who does less than their fair share (50%) to a parent who does more than their fair share to cover the increased cost of raising a child for the parent who has them more. So if you do 70% and he does 30%, he would have to pay you a sum to cover the children’s costs for the 20% you do that is more than your fair share.

In a 50/50, both parents have equal expenses so it doesn’t matter who is registered at the doctors! You’re not being paid by your husband to raise your own kids!

But when he had less than 50% care wasn't he paying you quite a lot more than what he was required to? So that has already been accounted for

And even after he took on 50% he was still paying you, even though he wasn't really required to. And you were getting the child benefit for both children.

Has anybody had experience of needing to pay back CMS / what happens if the court and CMS finds in my exes favour for the second child?

It doesn't matter what people on here say - you'll only listen to the odd post that agrees with you...

Get proper legal advice, someone you'll actually listen to, before your ex drops his offer for amicable resolution and you damage your relationship irreparably

@ProlongedAffair you have been told this several times by me and other posters you are choosing not to listen.

It isn't a case of IF the court finds in favour it is when. You will be ordered to pay back any excess CMS you were paid that you weren't entitled to, your ex could ask for compound interest to be added to this.

The two outcomes are CMS/court orders that no CMS is owed by either parent as it is 50/50 or they order that your ex pays you CMS for one child and you pay for him one child which likely means that they will cancel each other out or you may get a small sum of money as your ex earns slightly more than you.

You need to stop fixating on what was the past, and this petty notion of you doing more of the 'admin' for the children, it's not helpful to anyone in this situation least of all you and it isn't healthy. The courts and CMS aren't interested in the past, they work on the here and now.

You were entitled to CM when it was not 50/50. Now it is 50/50 of course you are not entitled to anything.

How would it be fair to give you money for kids he has half the time?

But he paid you money when it wasn’t 50/50 and he carried on paying you some when it was 50/50 - you wanted more after he got a pay rise. If you hadn’t disrupted the status quo then you would have carried on getting money even though it was 50/50!

Jesus wept this is painful.

OP and DP currently have 50:50 childcare split. ExP was voluntarily paying money to OP, as well as half of school trips and providing medical, dental, and mobile phone contracts for DC.

OP discovered ExPs income was higher than she thought and asked for more money but he said no because they have 50:50. (In fact when the child benefit people asked for evidence OP admitted ExP had, had DCs an extra night to her in the preceding period of about 12 weeks)

Because he refused to pay more she took him to CMS claiming to be primary carer. (There was another thread where MNs said this was a bad idea and risked a good coparenting situation) Which she states is due to doing paperwork for school trips, even though they pay half each, and the fact that when the kids were younger she had them more.

Because she gets child maintainence CMS recognised her as primary carer. So her ExP put in a rival child benefit claim because he disputes that she is primary carer because of all the reasons above. She felt this is unfair because he earns too much to get the money, he will be taxed on it. That hes only doing it to prove hes 50:50 parent (we all said good for him)

She then asked how we thought it would go and ExP has been awarded Child Benefit for one of the children and is taking the CMS case to tribunal arguing as they are 50:50 he shouldnt pay this CMS. Hes also said he wont give her a penny more than CMS amount going forward.

And were waiting to find out how this ends

Its because when you claimed you got the child benefit for both so they used that as the measure. Now you each claim one child their view has changed.

Child benefit investigated before they deemed it appropriate to award one each so theyre following suit. If Child benefit have evidence, they accept that a standard of proof was met

My god, OP is thick as mince. This whole thread (and the last) is the perfect example of fuck around and find out!