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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

363 replies

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 16:26

My child (7 years old)got a party invite via a WhatsApp group. I asked him if he wanted to come, he did, and I replied saying he would love to come on the group. So far, so normal.

I then was removed from the group, and received a message to say that his invite was a mistake.

AIBU to think regardless of mistakes, you don't uninvite? My child has been in nursery/school with this child for years, they play together, and it's not a small party either, or one where numbers are critical or pay per head (just a party at home, which is also fine, and I know they have a good size home and garden).

I don't care that he isn't invited, just that he has been invited, when he is aware of the invite now. He will now be hearing kids talking about the party at school, thinking he is going, but not able to go.

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 21/05/2025 16:27

How rude of the parent.

FrenchandSaunders · 21/05/2025 16:27

Wow that's awful OP, the cheek of it. How rude.

Comedycook · 21/05/2025 16:27

So rude!

wizzywig · 21/05/2025 16:27

God that's rude. That parent would be blacklisted from my mind forever.
And I've never seen anyone but Mr Kipling use the word exceedingly. I like your use of it

SummerInSun · 21/05/2025 16:28

Agree. Unless there is a massive backstory about your child bullying the birthday child or similar, that’s not on. If I’d made that sort of mistake I’d go through with having the other child there. You can’t possibly rescind an invite to a seven year old without a really, really good reason.

Gemmawemma9 · 21/05/2025 16:28

What an absolute twat that parent is. Horrible, cruel, nasty.

BerniesAuntie · 21/05/2025 16:29

The other parent is an absolute dick.

Talipesmum · 21/05/2025 16:29

Yes it’s rude, but did they do it quickly? I can imagine fat finger typing adding the wrong person by mistake. I suspect I’d just keep them invited if I’d done that. But maybe they have a mental limit on how many kids they can cope with at home? I’d work on quickly correcting with my child, saying “oh sorry it was a mistake, we can’t make that party after all”. White lie but one that is likely to cause least upset to child.

Rosebush1245 · 21/05/2025 16:29

Extremely rude especially as it’s a party at home. It’s not like she got the wrong name by accident to take the child on a 3 day camping trip.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 21/05/2025 16:31

That's really bad.

If it was me I'd book a day out that day abd tell my child I was really sorry but I'd made a mistake and we already had plans that day so they can't go to the party but you'd see if you could arrange for someone to come for a play date another day.

I'd rather be the bad guy than have to explain they were not wanted at the party.

DancingHippos · 21/05/2025 16:31

Have you asked her why he was uninvited? Have you called her out on it saying how your child was looking forward to the party?

Just1712 · 21/05/2025 16:31

Wow, just wow. The other parent is so rude. What did you say back to that message??

Lmnop22 · 21/05/2025 16:32

Something tells me there’s more to this because that’s bonkers behaviour!

ToWhitToWhoo · 21/05/2025 16:32

Yes, that's VERY rude!

Original poster
Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 16:33

DancingHippos · 21/05/2025 16:31

Have you asked her why he was uninvited? Have you called her out on it saying how your child was looking forward to the party?

I have said her uninviting him is rude. She said sorry and it's 'just' a mistake. No backstory. I think she really has no insight.

OP posts:
BeSpryMoose · 21/05/2025 16:33

Yes that is really rude. I would be telling the parent that my child was looking forward to the party and that he is very upset. She needs calling out on this.

PrettyPuss · 21/05/2025 16:34

I would not message but I would approach the parent (calmly) in person to ask them why they did this. On the surface of it, it is despicable behavior and highly irregular.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 16:35

It’s life. Get over it

Heronwatcher · 21/05/2025 16:36

I suspect either she meant for a different person in the first place (my class had 3 Harrys it was a nightmare) or your child has bashed hers with a stick or something since the invite was sent!

Either way do you really want your DC at a party where they aren’t welcome? Yes it’s rude but I think if it’s a genuine mistake it’s probably for the best. You also don’t know that extras can be accommodated easily, she could have booked an activity with strict numbers or already ordered expensive party bag stuff.

BeSpryMoose · 21/05/2025 16:36

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 16:33

I have said her uninviting him is rude. She said sorry and it's 'just' a mistake. No backstory. I think she really has no insight.

Show quote history

I'd be telling at least one of the other parents what has happened, as a warning, it could be their child excluded next time.

justkeepswimingswiming · 21/05/2025 16:36

is that all she said? I wouldn’t be bothering with her in the future & would just blank her.

TeaAndToast8 · 21/05/2025 16:36

Yep that’s really rude.

MidnightPatrol · 21/05/2025 16:37

Incredibly rude.

What an odd woman.

NestEmptying · 21/05/2025 16:37

I would be wondering why as well.
Perhaps the parent invited them and then the child vetoed it. Should have checked first but it's possible to see how that might happen.

Imagine if you were that parent. If there's a good reason why the child doesn't want them there then MN would be all for honouring your child's wishes. However, yes they were rude for not telling you why. Maybe they don't like confrontation.

Tootiredforthis23 · 21/05/2025 16:38

That’s out of order, you don’t uninvite a child. From her response she’s clearly not bothered so I wouldn’t mention. I wouldn’t tell your child what has happened though, I would book somewhere to go or something fun to do and say it was your mistake as you’d forgotten you already had something on that day.