To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

[Exaltedmalteaser]

My child (7 years old)got a party invite via a WhatsApp group. I asked him if he wanted to come, he did, and I replied saying he would love to come on the group. So far, so normal.

I then was removed from the group, and received a message to say that his invite was a mistake.

AIBU to think regardless of mistakes, you don't uninvite? My child has been in nursery/school with this child for years, they play together, and it's not a small party either, or one where numbers are critical or pay per head (just a party at home, which is also fine, and I know they have a good size home and garden).

I don't care that he isn't invited, just that he has been invited, when he is aware of the invite now. He will now be hearing kids talking about the party at school, thinking he is going, but not able to go.

Personally I think the mother and mothers like you are the one upsetting the child. It should be water off a ducks back and you should be teaching your children that. Do you have some unresolved issues over birthday parties?

I bet you've never made a mistake in your life 🤣

She said sorry. What on earth do you expect her to do to put in right other than invite a child she doesn’t want to invite to a party. The kid clearly isn’t wanted there, why on earth would you want him to go? It’s not as if she’s going round killing kittens. She doesn’t have to do anything. She obviously doesn’t care or she wouldn’t have uninvited him. She could say the same thing about the Op, making a huge fuss and not accepting her apology.

Thats rather extreme. Evil as a description should be used for murders or rapists and the like, not someone making a mistake with a party invite.

@Talipesmumnot so quick as there was time for the child in question to be asked and the OP reply. Even if it had been a genuine mistake you honour the invite!
I once was doing invites for my son at his new school and had the class list with contact details. There was a name on it that he didn’t seem to recognise, but I felt it would be terrible to leave one child out of a whole class party, so emailed them the invite.
Well they actually were not in the class, they weren’t even in the school anymore! The list just hadn’t been updated. The mother accepted and it was only when he arrived and my son said he’d never seen him before did she explain that she was so grateful I included him as he had been missing his old friends. It was a pay per head but of course it was no issue and I just bluffed it out. That’s what I would hope someone would do for my child.

She is incredibly rude and has zero social graces. I’d be giving her a wide berth from now on.

That's awful behaviour. YANBU.

Even if you do invite the wrong child by accident, once they've accepted you just suck it up.

As mentioned in the op, he has known this child for years and they play together. To me I understand that as a friend, but I know friendships are quite fluid at this age. He would have known the other children at the party too, who are his friends.

Who are you taking to?

You’re making mistakes constantly on this thread alone! Bloody quote or tag whoever you are having a go at!

I suppose you get used to fronting out mistakes and not taking ownership!

It's unpleasant, but it was a mistake. You telling her that she was rude is worst, careful she doesn't warn people about you reacting so much.

OP, if it's really one of these parties when a few more or less make no difference, then there's a reason why your child was not invited, do you really want to dig that one?

Maybe she told the birthday child "xyz just replied, he's coming" and said child got really upset? Who knows.

I’d expect the invitation to stand, that’s what I’d expect.

Just tell your child that you have double booked with laser quest/trampolining/zoo and so he can’t go. You’ve got the measure of this woman now, don’t get involved with her again.

maybe the crap parenting was inventing a child they really did not want to see by mistake, and her having to backtrack quickly?

Good idea, I will think of something special for him. I haven't told him about the rescinded invite as I have no good way of explaining it.

I shouldn't have to though. This is the first time I have ever come across an uninvite for either myself or my children.

They were invited to the party? It’s in the OP!

I did the same a couple of years ago and as you say just invited both.

Absolutely, I have blocked her. I had thought we were friendly before but I don't want anything to do with her now.

Before blocking her I did explain how rude it was to uninvite.

Why? All they're gonna do is run back and tell the other parent and then they'll slag you off together!!

The weird thing is, this is impossible given the timing of my reply, and her rescinding the invite.

I’d tell him quickly before he mentions it at school and birthday kid says ‘you’re not invited’ and embarrasses him.

Very rude on other parents part! Totally unnecessary too

what if the kid who’s birthday it is doesn’t want him there? He’s not invited for a reason. What if her kid just doesnt like him? Are you really suggesting the parent invite a kid who was invited by mistake, her own kid doesn’t want him there or like him but needs to invite him regardless of all that because it’s rude. I would not want my child at a party where they weren’t welcome.

Something similar happened to DD a few years ago. Bought an outfit for her and a gift for the birthday child. Was uninvited a few days beforehand. I gave DD the birthday gift and we went out for lunch instead, but I’m still salty about it.