To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

[Exaltedmalteaser]

My child (7 years old)got a party invite via a WhatsApp group. I asked him if he wanted to come, he did, and I replied saying he would love to come on the group. So far, so normal.

I then was removed from the group, and received a message to say that his invite was a mistake.

AIBU to think regardless of mistakes, you don't uninvite? My child has been in nursery/school with this child for years, they play together, and it's not a small party either, or one where numbers are critical or pay per head (just a party at home, which is also fine, and I know they have a good size home and garden).

I don't care that he isn't invited, just that he has been invited, when he is aware of the invite now. He will now be hearing kids talking about the party at school, thinking he is going, but not able to go.

That’s outrageous. I might be tempted to push back and say sorry you’ve already told your son about the party and obviously it would be terrible to tell him it’s a mistake so I think given the circumstances she needs to make it work.

The bonkers thing is she is a teacher!

OMG you buried the lead there! Does she teach at your child’s school?

She’s been an absolute bitch and I think you have responded completely appropriately.

You haven’t explicitly denied being the party invitation Mum…

Awful of the inviting parent. How cruel

Do you actually care that much if I am or not? 😂I love that some posters cannot comprehend that there's more than 1 person who disagrees with them.

I am not actually, I would never host a child's party in my own home for a start, but on an anonymous forum, I could be anyone anyway.

I ballsed up a few years ago and invited the wrong ‘Bob’. I realised my mistake when Bob 2’s mum RSVP’d yes. I simply sent out an extra invite to Bob 1 and had both Bobs. Cost a bit more but I couldn’t bear to be so rude as to uninvite and upset a kid whose fault it wasn’t.

Did get into a slightly awkward situation where my child was then invited to Bob 2’s future birthday parties, when it was clear neither they nor Bob shared any interests or friends. And I then had to invite Bob 2 back out of politeness. Maybe uninviting in the first place is the right idea…!

Nope, and that means it should be very easy to avoid her, thankfully.

I will admit I would be interested if party invite Mum showed up on the thread, yes! Would definitely be worth microwaving some popcorn.

Mistakes happen, sure, but the way the mum of the birthday boy handled it is jaw-droppingly rude.

With craft activities at home (especially as a teacher with experience with kids) it should be easy for her to add an extra child.

I agree with the op that there's no point dealing with people like that. Better to block and move on with your life. The kids can play together at school but I wouldn't be encouraging playdates at that woman's house - she clearly has no sense of normal, acceptable behaviour or of how children's feelings can be hurt by careless words.

Nobody gets uninvited for no reason, especially to a large house party where numbers haven't been confirmed.

I expect your neighbor is telling you that it was a 'mistake' to avoid getting into the real reason.

The other mum isn't rude for making a mistake and no one has even hinted that she is. She's rude for kicking the op out of a WhatsApp group in front of everyone and uninviting the OP's child with no apology.

It makes perfect sense for the OP to point out such obvious rudeness, giving the other mum a chance to offer a solution or alternative playdate or something.

The other mum clearly doesn't feel she did anything wrong since she hasn't done any of those things and hasn't given a proper apology.

They are therefore clearly very different people with nothing in common and there's no reason to stay in contact.

I agree with the op, life is much too short to play nice with people who are rude to you. And I suppose the other mum doesn't rate the relationship either, given her actions, so I doubt she'll be trying to get in contact.

You could do with a plan for managing the situation if your son comes home and says the party-child told him he wasn't invited anymore etc. It's good to have an alternative plan for while the party is happening but the distraction only works fully if the other child doesn't know about the situation.

*the party organiser, not neighbor!

You don't do this to a child. I'd ask the parent involved how your child was invited "by mistake" and point out how disappointed he is. She should have a credible reason for this. If her answer is unsatisfactory, it's up to you, if you want to make it known to the other parents. I wouldn't blame you.

Agree. A lot of people posting sound like one

These parents gossips w.e need to personal develop and get an actual life.

Of course all teachers do this. I bet they just hate their job and love to slag all the parents off. You should maybe get your cousin to teach you punctuation?

Put people like that in your (mental) bin, close the lid. At least she red flagged herself early.

Nah I prefer free style posting thanks. I'm starting to think you fancy me following me around the boards.

Unbelievably rude.
I have never heard the like of it.
So rude.

She would be the talk of the place if she did that in my childrens schools.

Of course she shouldn't have said a word and past it off.

Even more so as the play together.
I would avoid her completely going forward and I absolutely wouldn't keep quiet about it either.

It’s so rude to do that and I would rather invite a random child that my kid didn’t want there than upset a child and uninvite them.

But please don’t jump through hoops to entertain your son on party day or make up a weird story, just be robust and tell the truth “so and so’s mum asked you but then realised the party was full. Never mind!”

I’m a teacher ( I had this pesky English degree that I didn’t know what to do with …and I love slagging parents off so it was the ultimate career choice) and when there are party invites I always model acceptance - I remind the children that venues and houses are finite spaces and not everyone can go to everything. It doesn’t mean you’re no longer friends. I show them that they are to be generous about being invited and NOT being invited.

Rude AND mean. How would they feel if that happened to their child?

I had a close friend of 20+ years uninvite my child from her child's party recently. We went anyway after refusing the 'uninvitation' 🤣
Found out on the day that it had been to make space for some child in the kids class that they aren't even friends with. She invited the kid to get friendly with the mum as she's queen bee of the mum clique my friend so desperately wants to be part of.
They didn't turn up 🤷🏼‍♀️
Was pretty furious my friend jepardised the friendship, both ours and our children's for something so petty.
People are bonkers. Still not quite forgiven that.

Yeaaaah, no you weren’t 🤣🙈

@PaperSnowAGhost89 you took your child anyway? You’re still friends with the parent who uninvited your child, despite knowing the exact reasons leading to the invite being rescinded?

I’m astonished at your lack of dignity and pride here.