To be put off a man because he was asleep during the day?

[PeptoDismal]

Been on a few dates with a bloke. He sent me a message yesterday at 2pm asking what I was upto, I returned the question and he said “I’ve just woke up lol”. At 2pm?? He’d been up in the day earlier as he’d messaged me at 10am saying he was off to shop. How lazy - don’t get me wrong I’m not bursting with energy either but I at least stay awake during the day. It’s really put me off

Total red flag.

You. You're the red flag.

Bloody hell OP! Haven't you ever heard of a nap?

I love taking a nap during the day.
What's so terrible about that.
Some countries call it the afternoon siesta.

You have no idea why he was sleeping - a bad night’s sleep, feeling unwell or just taking a nap. I assume he’s not neglecting the things he needs to do?

Seriously?

When I upped my work hours last year so I was working 4 full days, I missed afternoon naps. Not every day, but sometimes I just need to catch up a bit.

You can decline a further date for any reason. I’m more baffled by than hostile nappers (I can’t sleep in daytime, ever), but I wouldn’t date anyone with poor grammar who used ‘lol’. Some people might find that unreasonable, but I’d be the one dating him.

I’m with the OP. We don’t live in Spain. Sleeping during the day on a Tuesday (I could understand a post-Sunday lunch nap, for example) is weird and would put me off.

Other mitigating factors would be shift work or a bad night’s sleep the night before.

What’s wrong with an afternoon nap?

You can be put off for whatever reason you want. That’s your choice.

ftr I wouldn’t be at this stage, there could be all sorts of reasons, including an occasional nap which in my book is fine. If it’s not in yours, that’s also fine.

My dh naps every afternoon. Self employed up at 5am. No big deal.

At boarding school they had to nap each afternoon after lunch. The habits stayed with him all his life.

Think you're massively overreacting

If it’s a regular occurrence, I couldn’t be doing with that.
If it’s an every now and again nap, I’d join in, I love a nap after a busy day or if I’ve not slept well the night before.
But if he’s the sort to just nap out of boredom then that would bother me.

Don't see a problem with a nap on a day off. Does he usually work?

If this puts you off, it puts you off 🤷‍♀️ My mum is the same - she sees having a nap as a sort of moral failing. Sounds like you’re not well matched.

I had a nap on Friday afternoon because I’d woken at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep. By 2pm I was knackered and feeling sick so i went to bed for a couple of hours. I can’t see what’s wrong with that, tbh.

Jaysis, i love a afternoon nap. One of my favourite things ever to sleep for an hour on my lunch break or having a bath on my lunch break - just delicious

Or finising work at 4pm and going straight to bed for an hour - so, so engerised after

Does he work?
I often nap in the day because I have a disabled child who is up most of the night. I didn’t know naps were a moral failing!

And this is why you are single!

I love an afternoon nap, but work mon- fri afternoons so can’t have a nap however if I’m off I would probably have a 2pm nap( I’m not the best sleeper so can be awake for 2 mins or 2 and a half hours some nights so need to catch up on my sleep somehow).

I’d choose a nap over a date any day!

Yes another thing I didn’t know was a moral failing until I saw it on Mumsnet.

I bloody love a nap- I am self employed and often clear an hour in my afternoon so I can have a little snooze.

You can not date someone for whatever reason you like, but YABU for being so shocked at the concept of a nap.

I mean you don't have to date him if you don't feel you are compatible but you are probably doing the guy a favour if you are judging naps !

I agree this would put me off op. How old is he?

If it's his day off and he works full time I wouldn't see an issue with it.

If you were hungry you’d eat. If you were thirsty, you’d drink. If he’s got the opportunity and time, why not?

Ooh, I love the odd nap on my days off. I don't sleep well as DH snores and I'm a light sleeper so like to catch up on my sleep occasionally. Also as I get older life just gets more tiring.