To be put off a man because he was asleep during the day?

[PeptoDismal]

Been on a few dates with a bloke. He sent me a message yesterday at 2pm asking what I was upto, I returned the question and he said “I’ve just woke up lol”. At 2pm?? He’d been up in the day earlier as he’d messaged me at 10am saying he was off to shop. How lazy - don’t get me wrong I’m not bursting with energy either but I at least stay awake during the day. It’s really put me off

I would absolutely be put off by a regular napper.

Well there isn't enough info really. I sometimes have an afternoon nap. I don't set out to, but now and again it catches up with me. I'm up at 0630-0700am most days, do 12 hour shifts on my work days and walk 6-7 miles a day on my days off.
Perhaps he had an early start that day, or did a 10 mile run and then treated himself to a nap afterwards , didn't sleep well the night before ( for whatever reason) etc etc. So basically the context would matter to me. There is a difference between someone who leads a busy life and has a nap to catch up on some sleep, a person who is just bone idle/ lazy and someone who needs the rest due to a health issue.

Oh I love a good daytime nap, I’ve sort of evolved my sleep routine so my 7-8 hours is distributed differently that’s all. So there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with it.
but that’s the beauty of dating, you can be put off by anything you like, let him go and move on to somebody who’s sleep pattern matches your own.

Or maybe he just…fancied a nap? 😉

Many of the forward thinking companies (from Google to Gymshark) provide sleep pods in their offices, so people can take a nap when they fancy it.

Many Japanese companies encourage employees to take a nap during the day.

Perhaps take a look at the research linked to earlier in the thread.

YABU. I’d nap every day if I could.

YIKES! You are upset with him because he had a nap?!?!? For all you know he'd had a long day previously. He can do whatever he wants with his spare time. Naps aren't lazy, they are self care. I had a superb nap yesterday - it was lovely! And I could do so on a Tuesday afternoon because I worked bloody hard earlier in my career and now have far more spare time to enjoy doing the stuff I enjoy. And having a nap if I'd like one is one of the best moments of self-care: out in the garden, in a hammock, surrounded by ocean air, flowers, birds singing, and my dog. Total bliss. If someone I was dating thought this was a red-flag I'd be glad they'd self-selected themselves out of my life: got no time at all for people who think that self-care is "lazy".
OP: you need an attitude adjustment.

Its a sign into who you are dating, the good news is he is very comfortable with you. That is a good sign, and everything is entitled to change.

I got in from work at 2am and I'm not back in till 8-9pm tonight. I may well still be in my dressing gown at 2pm. Don't care one bit. Made £300 for five hours work and after another five tonight I'm finished for the weekend whilst still getting paid for Friday as a stand down day. Love it!

Napping aside, I would dump anyone who uses 'lol' like punctuation.

You sound fun lol

Naps are not lazy. Humans are designed to nap. That’s why most people have a slump in the afternoon. They good for you. Countries that nap (siestas) have better health outcomes than countries where napping is not the norm.

Very odd that you see napping as lazy. What a weird thing to think.

No issues with the nap, I’m jealous. The ‘lol’ would give me the ick though.

It's only 8am and I need a nap already been up since 3.35 with one of the kids.

Personally, I struggle to sleep at night and always have done, since I was a child. (I distinctly remember being 10/11 and seeing the sun come up for the first time without having slept; it felt like everything was right with the world 🤣)

I tried to treat this “insomnia” without success for quite some time. A doctor finally told me that it’s not insomnia because I can sleep, just not when I felt I “should”. Her basic advice to me was to give up 🤷‍♀️ She said (and there is plenty of research to back her up) that while most people can be a bit flexible with their sleep, there are some who just are the way they are, and you can’t change it. So I gave up, started working nights and sleeping days, and I’m so much happier that way.

People do often see it as laziness or odd, and it’s a shame. I don’t sleep more than other people, it’s just at a different time.

Being asleep at 2 pm with no other context certainly doesn’t mean he’s lazy at all. That being said, if it makes you incompatible, so be it. It’s a shame if you like everything else about him so far, though.

If you are a high energy person who doesnt need naps and he gets knackered easily, you may not be a good match, much like the lake garda thread

The nap pods and everything else about the Googleplex was such a con (visited in late 2000's) its not amazing they give you free breakfast, lunch, dinner and somewhere to nap. People should be eating two meals and sleeping at home, not being in the office.

Anyway slight tangent, it would now put me off OP because I've dated too many lazy men, I also wouldn't date anyone with mental health issues or who didn't actively clean up when I'm around them. There seems to be a lot of nappers on this thread, I only nap when ill or had a bad nights sleep, but I do go to bed before 10.

I’m not sure Japanese work culture is something we should be looking to emulate tbh.

I'm sure I read somewhere that our ancestors used to get up really early and then sleep again later in the day.

I also think it's fine proclaiming that you 'never nap', but if your work day involves eight hours sat on your behind then it's not the same as some others. I work in the construction sector and am contracted to do 5x10hr shifts if I'm working days, but when stuff goes wrong it can easily be 12 or more.

I did a 14hr day on Monday due to things gong wrong onsite. Started 7am, finished 9pm. Got home about 10pm. Was due in 6am next day so had to take the minimum legal reduced rest period which is nine hours between shifts (of which 1.5 hours will be driving to and from work and would still need to shower/eat when getting home).

So I was back up again seven hours after walking in the door. Had no qualms about jumping into the bunk in one of the trucks and having a nap that afternoon when we had two hours downtime!

Wow you would hate me i love a nap 😴 I'm in bed now I was up at 5.30 did everything i needed to now I can relax for a couple of hours and hopefully drift of

The constant use of ‘lol’ by a fully grown man would result in an instant t block for me. No excuse for it.

The naps? Honestly as a non nappers I do find it mildly annoying when others near me do it and demand quiet/it always seems a bit indulgent in a healthy person. But I’d fine with it. Just not the inarticulate, nonsensical texting style.

Me too. But I would already have dumped him for the poor grammar before I read as far as LOL.

I'm sure I read somewhere that our ancestors used to get up really early and then sleep again later in the day.

Yep, we used to sleep in two phases at night. Go to bed early, wake up in the night, eat and talk and do things, then go back to sleep again.

I didn't know so many healthy adults had routine naps!

Naps are actually very good for you.