To be put off a man because he was asleep during the day?

[PeptoDismal]

Been on a few dates with a bloke. He sent me a message yesterday at 2pm asking what I was upto, I returned the question and he said “I’ve just woke up lol”. At 2pm?? He’d been up in the day earlier as he’d messaged me at 10am saying he was off to shop. How lazy - don’t get me wrong I’m not bursting with energy either but I at least stay awake during the day. It’s really put me off

Lots of people benefit from an afternoon nap and are much more productive because of one.
As long as he generally has his life together and is a productive person then it’s no worry.

@Beachlovingirl that would drive me insane! Has he had blood tests etc done.

He’ll have a lucky escape from you.

I had a nap yesterday. Granted I am off work due to long term illness (cancer), so if I am not running around all day, I always have a nap because by 6pm I’m dragging and evenings are busy.

As a one off on occasion for a normal healthy person, totally fine. Maybe he was out for a friend’s birthday last night or has plans tonight that will mean he doesn’t get much sleep or had to take the cat to the emergency vet at 2am or whatever? A healthy adult who stays in bed all day in their 30s regularly, no, that wouldn’t be attractive. But on occasion, I think it’s fine, as long as not a product of regular heavy drinking and doing coke til 3am.

It would be a no from me. Incompatible lifestyle and possibly incompatible energy levels

Naps are fantastic. Love a nap.

I'm married to a napper and find it infuriating. Something he kept well hidden until the WFH era.

But, tbh, its probably not the napping that infuriates me as much as his lack of input into the house in general - so if I see him napping while I'm doing the washing, and a whole load of other stuff still needs doing, I'm instantly pissed off.

Dh and his family love a nap. If I ever went round for Sunday lunch by 2 they’d all be asleep on the sofa.

i can’t nap. Doesn’t work for me.

i have one child who takes after dh and actually will plan a nap around his school and work hours 😂. The other is more like me and rarely falls asleep in the day.

Wouldn’t bother me.

I think that's perfectly reasonable.

If it puts you off, it puts you off.

If he is otherwise active and engaged in the world - working, hobbies, socialising - it wouldn't bother me in itself. If it is because he can't motivate himself to do anything, then yes, it would bother me.

Love a nap if I can fit one in, sets me up for the busy evenings

They’re called power naps for a reason. They recharge the brain and have been shown to be a good thing for long term health. He’s better off without a nit picker. What else are you going to be complaining about?

@FrenchandSaunders yes he has, because he’s also a total hypochondriac so if he has a cold - just a normal cold - he will be in bed most of the time for about 3/4 days (he manages to get up to play computer games though funnily enough)

I do feel like my dh sleep in the day habit is extreme though OP and as others have said if someone did nap in the day but it didn’t impact their life and they didn’t prioritise it over normal stuff then that doesn’t sound too bad.

if ops partner likes to play computer games all night though then I’d be avoiding like the plague..!

He wasn't asleep until 2pm; he was up earlier and went back to bed. He had a nap. Not sure if you consider that more or less 'yuck', but I think we can agree, it's is not the same.

I’m with you OP. A part-time worker who sleeps until 2? No thank you.

Him grammar would also have put me off though.

I'm pro-napping and would like to see it destigmatised. Alone, I might have taken his comment - especially the LOL - to mean he'd been in bed all day, but you know that's not the case. And working at your job is not the only thing that can make you tired.

There's nothing unreasonable about NOT dating someone - it's not like you're denying him an education or healthcare because he sleeps during the day - but the real question is are you being shortsighted to end an otherwise promising relationship for this one reason? (I suspect it's not just one reason, though). Only you can know if this will really bug you, but if so, then of course you should end it - and be glad you found out he's a napper before things got too serious!

I'd be more likely to bin him for working part time then the nap.

It'd put me off tbh. I'm not a napper (unless very sick or up literally all night) I find it makes me groggy afterwards and then can't get to sleep that night. The way he shrugged it off I suspect it's a common thing for him.

I love a nap. I never get to have them but I did when I was younger before children. I always get up early so if I have a late night then I would use a nap to 'catch up' on sleep as I never managed to wake up any later in the morning.

My OH never naps but I can honestly say it's never been a problem. We have very compatible energy levels and have always been very active... I just like a nap occasionally.

I am with you on the grammar but to be fair he didn't sleep until 2pm. He got up earlier and went back to bed. He had a nap.

People: "I want someone who is strong-minded, independent, who does his things his own way, who doesn't give in to arbitrary expectations."

Also people: "Sleeping during the day is weird and would put me off." (Probably the same people.)

I love an afternoon nap 😴

Would put me off too

This in spades.

Well aren't you a peach? This man has had a very lucky escape