To be put off a man because he was asleep during the day?

[PeptoDismal]

Been on a few dates with a bloke. He sent me a message yesterday at 2pm asking what I was upto, I returned the question and he said “I’ve just woke up lol”. At 2pm?? He’d been up in the day earlier as he’d messaged me at 10am saying he was off to shop. How lazy - don’t get me wrong I’m not bursting with energy either but I at least stay awake during the day. It’s really put me off

Lucky escape for him I would say...

It would have put me off when I was younger, OP. I am 62 and have recently started napping in the afternoon, and love it. But wouldn't have thought of doing it even a couple of years ago. And wouldn't have been attracted to someone who did.

The ungrammatical and unintelligent "I've just woke up lol" would have given me the massive ick.

I’m fully aware of this. Me and my husband work in high pressure full on desk jobs…still wouldn’t take a nap in the middle of the working day

I really don't understand why this is an issue for you. It's not like you were with him!

You're entitled to find it offputting - we're all entitled to find anything offputting - but it's weird to think he must be lazy because he had an afternoon snooze.

I don't like daytime naps myself, but lots of people swear by them. And you don't know how well he sleeps at night. It's perfectly possible that even with his daytime snooze, he still sleeps less than you overall.

I had a nap yesterday went to sleep at 1pm woke at 4.30pm.
The night before i just couldn't sleep for whatever reason i was exhausted.
Then again i love a nap.
I suppose id give you the ick.

I wonder if all the people saying its not an issue and the OP is a problem are the same ones that say 'this is your fault, you knew what he was like' 5 years and two kids later when he's having a nap and she's struggling through each day 😆😆

Nothing fundamentally wrong with a nap. But that doesn't mean you're compatible.
I'd probably find out if it was a one off or normal behaviour before making the decision to ditch him.

Well nobody is saying you should be sleeping at work are they ?

It's up to you if you want to date someone, but it's weird to be so outraged at the idea that a person might have a nap.

Have you not heard of napping? It is a normal thing that some people do.

If you don't like it then don't date him but it's really weird to be so judgey about something that is so common.

Yep

Love a afternoon nap

Agreed.

Though the fact that he seemed surprised when she asked if he was unwell suggests it's quite usual behaviour for him.

It is reminding me of a nice, but spectacularly low-energy friend of mine. In perfect health, early 50s, sedentary job, plenty of free time, a very hands on wife, and two children aged 11 and 12 when I knew him, but the smallest exertion, or deviation in routine, would see him literally making panting noises to indicate how 'knackered' he was by something as ordinary as taking the children to their swimming lesson on Saturday morning, because his wife, who usually did it, was working, or having the kids' friends over to play after school, or the prospect of a parents' evening this week, or having to buy new school shoes.

She eventually got sick of it and divorced him, but it took him the best part of a year to start having the children in his new house for longer than two hours, because the prospect of having to buy enough plates, cutlery, bedlinen etc for their use was 'too much' and he was 'knackered'.

He was a nice man, but I can see why she ended their marriage.

I had a nap yesterday, I had a really bad nights sleep and period cramps. But I am also partial to a nap at weekends too, if I have had a busy week at work etc

This is similar to the guy on the holiday thread.

I indulged my underweight kitten and now he's a big cat he wakes me at any time from 4am for breakfast. On the days I'm not working, or busy, damn straight I'm having a nap later in the day!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5339151-he-gave-me-in-ick-in-lake-garda?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

Jesus christ, am i not allowed a power nap? I do this regularly! Not everyone is a morning person.

Sounds like if you did get together you'd eventually end up nagging him about little things like this.

A lot of endurance athletes have a midday sleep.

How does it affect you if you are not there.

Taking a siesta or afternoon nap is proven to be great for your health and longevity and cognitive function.

No exactly…hence my point that I couldn’t possibly judge someone having a nap at 2pm and whether it would also “give me the ick” without knowing more about the person or circumstances

Oh lovely. Does your superior brain know how to spell irony?

I like a nap during the day. Nothing wrong with that.

Context is everything.

If he works part-time and does absolutely nothing, then yes, that would put me off big time.

If he had a desk job, even high pressure, I would question why he's not exercising instead of napping. Better for your mental and physical health.

If he had a physical job, and had a few heavy days or week,

If he ran a marathon or went on a 100k cycle ride first thing in the morning, and is having a nap later on, fine.

Being lazy or low-energy is very off-putting. Needing a nap and being an adult and sleeping when you need and have a chance, what's the problem.

Wow, I also fall asleep on Saturday around 3pm and woke up at 5pm. Because I am lazy? No way. I had exhausting week at work, so my body just switched off to get a rest it desperately needed.
Don't be that judgmental. Dating is hard enough without it

You'd be surprised at how many people do this. I'm from a family that don't, but I know families that do.

Perhaps he’s of Spanish descent and he was having a siesta?