For thinking my brother and his wife trying to take my Dad's house?

[SadANDupsetGirl]

My Dad has left his house to my brother and his wife in his will (bone of contention in the family as my Dad already gave my brother the family business and then my brother sold it, making millions of pounds, despite my Dad not wanting this to happen. My Dad was still involved in the business and used to pop in during the day, albeit not as an owner once he gave it to my brother). My Dad is a very fit and healthy 81 year old and I hope he has many years left in his home. He loves his garden and cutting his lawn and takes great pride in the house.

My brother and his wife have announced to me that they want to get an architect into my Dad's house to start drawing up house plans as they "have lots of ideas" about what they want to do with it once they get their hands on it.

I feel that they are just wanting my Dad to die!

One of their children, their 16 year old daughter, was staying with Dad last week while my brother and his wife were on holidays and this niece posted a scathing Snapchat video about my Dad about "how bad he is at cooking" and how she "had to throw her dinner into the bushes beside the patio when he wasn't looking"..all the way through laughing her head off, basically making out like my Dad is some senile imbecile. I feel like my brother and his wife are speaking ill about my Dad behind his back. My Dad isn't senile at all and is very capable and kind.

When I asked my brother why he has to bring in an architect into my Dad's house to basically plan for when my Dad is deceased, he got a bit huffy with me. I asked him why he can't just leave Dad alone and has to be doing this to him. Then he told me he's thinking of buying a small bungalow that's for sale nearby anyway. Now I am afraid he's going to try and take my Dad's house and put my Dad into the little bungalow. I always thought my Dad would be able to live in his house til the rest of his days.

My brother and his wife have a lovely house near my Dad's and millions in the bank, so I don't know what the fixation is on taking my Dad's house (Dad's house is beautiful BTW) when they could just build or buy one equally nice.

I feel that my brother and my sister in law are having no regard for my Dad, are waiting for him to die and are either going to try push him into a home or into the small bungalow they're about to buy down the road.

AIBU in being so upset about this?

But your brother didnt get all the money,your dad got 300k from the sale. I'm surprised a solicitor and accountant let this happen, I would expect the solicitor handling the sale to interview your dad separately.

Doesn’t sound likely that a solicitor would do this.

No of course not.

On the sale of a business the solicitors will look at the shareholdings and split the sale price out to the shareholders based on their shareholdings. They are unlikley to look at how the shares moved from one person to another.

However when the shares were transferred to your brother, there ought to have been a tax advisor who checked to see if your dad was liable for capital gains tax on the transfer to your brother (if they didn't do this then there may be a tax debt due to be paid by your father, and I bet your brother won't provide the cash for that). A solicitor may or may not have been involved when the shares were transferred. This is often done by an accountant, or people can do the forms themselves, but they have to pay stamp duty and capital gains, so usually use an accountant.

The value of the shares your dad transferred will be calculated based on the value of the business at the time the shares changed hands. The tax due will be based on that value, the value of the business, not on whatever your brother did or didn't pay for the shares. There are schemes to reduce the tax, if your brother was an employee for example, but they would need an accountant to set these up and (importatnly) to agree the company valuation with HMRC.

Perhaps these things need to be part of your conversations with your dad.

I can only speak from when we sold our business but the buyer's solicitors were all over the fact that someone had previously held shares who no longer did (they died). They wanted to make sure everything had been done fairly so no one could claim against them in the future.

Sounds like your brother was exerting undue influence over your father.

Again - I do not see how any of this went through solicitors etc. Not for a business sale in the millions.

And the tax implications alone for your father . . .

So if they are getting the house ,what are you getting?? Why is the house not been left to you and your brother, that way it would be sold and money split

Did you talk to.your father, op?.

This.

Absolutely!

As I said up thread, kindly... I think the time to act is now!!

Seriously what's the worse that can happen??

The best? Your Pa changes his will.

And also if he won't change it? .. You'll know EXACTLY what he thinks of you...I so hope this isn't the case. That you're OK to slave for him but not worthy of having an equitable share of his and your mum's money?? And, also your daughter isn't worthy of being left an equitable share of a sizable estate.

Whether you inherit or not... Will have absolutely HUGE consequences for you...? Whether you could travel extensively, retire early if you wanted to, upscale your home. It would mean your daughter would have no issue with uni fees)learnig to drive and a house deposit??

All for the sake of ONE conversation with your dad??

All these people saying bad money /cut them off etc... Why should you?? I mean really??

An extended family member inherited a couple of million from parents in her late 40s - she'd always done low pay, 'naice' work (think poet/arty) ... She is essentially retired now, no money issues and spends her time going off travelling...

It has given her HUGE freedom.

A freedom your brother is already enjoying.

It’s terribly unfair your brother is inheriting so much more than you. If that was me, i’d have to give my brother 50% of everything, and even though he is very tight, i’m sure he would do the same. Maybe you need to have a word with your dad. Has he not learned after the business sale? He should change his will and even up things. You could raise the conversation as a warning and why not say you’re a little hurt you’re inheriting so much less and ask your father why. You deserve an explanation. I wouldn’t dream of treating one of my DC so differently to the other.

If your dad has any feelings he may still be grieving over the death of his wife and all he's getting is added grief from his children talking about his house, getting architects in , changing his will., who does or doesn't inherit.

It needs to be talked about though.

Only if he wants to talk about it, it's his house and his money and maybe he feels that's all anyone talks about

Why have you posted then? What do you want us to say/help you do? If you won’t do anything about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

FGS OP defend your coerced father before it’s too late! 🙄

@SadANDupsetGirl

Word of warning OP! Similar happened to my mum. Don’t let it happen to you!

Granddad had 2 daughters, my mum and my Aunty.

Granddad had a business he built up from scratch and invited his eldest daughter’s husband to work for him when he came out of the army after WW2 as he had no trade or qualifications and was unemployed. (So my mum’s sister and her husband - my Aunty & Uncle.)

My dad already had a trade and had been in the RAF and was now working for himself.

Uncle worked in the business for many years and Granddad was persuaded by Uncle and Aunty to give the lot to Uncle and retire early. The manufacturing business included a large amount of land and a detached house on the land where Grandma and Granddad lived. The agreement was that the grandparents would carry on living in the house (rent free) until they died. It was a lovely house with beautiful gardens.

Within 5 years, Uncle sold the entire business and the land, inc. the house and moved overseas. Granddad and Grandma were made homeless by the new owners and had to apply for a 1 bed council flat which the local vicar helped him to secure. The whole thing was very shocking especially as my Granddad couldn’t understand how it had happened! He assumed my Uncle would be ‘honourable!’ 🙄

Within 6 months Granddad died from a heart attack and Grandma moved in with us as she had very bad Dementia. She didn’t know who anyone was and needed 24/7 care so mum left her job to care for Grandma in our small 3 bed semi. I was 15 and moved into the tiny box room. Mum’s sister wasn’t interested at all and left mum to struggle on for about 2 years before Grandma sadly died.

Mum received no inheritance at all and Aunty tried to weasel her way back to mum after Uncle died, blaming him for all the awful decisions. Mum forgave her (!!) even though Aunty had a cushy rich lifestyle and had never offered to step in and support her aging parents. My mum was just too nice.

i’m sorry but i would be speaking to my dad about why im not inheriting half. what is wrong with you? what inheritance do hoh have? i’m very aware that nobody is entitled to anything but id atleast challenge it

Your Mum is going straight to heaven. I know some people would see this as doormat behaviour but I think she’s just a good person, the best sort. That’s amazing strength of character and forgiveness. An angel 😇

Any update OP? Did you talk to your dad and brother?