Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH called me a vile, nasty piece of work

264 replies

StripeyBalloon · 18/05/2025 12:44

Long-ish story… Taking our two children to the park this morning, our oldest has injured his leg and is on crutches-he hasn’t really left the house much since he hurt his leg (possible ligament damage) and is beginning to fester! I said it would be nice if he had a spin in the car and sat on a bench in the sun while his sibling played.

It was a fight to get him off the couch and to leave the house and in the car he said “It’s (insert my first name’s) way again” etc. It’s the sort of thing my husband regularly says when I suggest taking them out for an hour etc. it’s a fight then that’s what he says. In the car I said DS was just parroting what DH says that’s it’s my way again and that I’m pushing my agenda, it’s not really a normal thing for a kid to say? It’s him parroting an adult.

DH got very angry, said I was a nasty piece of work, vile, a horrible woman and that I’m determined to ruin the day.

We got to the park and he then started joking around and trying to make me laugh. I was still upset and he said he’s been watching a lot of TikTok videos about mothers who ruin family days out and I’m like that! WTF. He then backtracked and said oh they are just comedy skits, don’t be so serious etc.

I’ve basically noticed DS repeating word for word phrases he has heard DH say about me - another is shouting at me saying “Stop talking over me!” when we are having a conversation etc.

AIBU? It’s triggering me now that DS is parroting his Dad 🙄

OP posts:
PeapodMcgee · 18/05/2025 12:48

Has he fallen down the Andrew Tate rabbit hole? I wouldn't put up with any of this. Respect begins at home.

ExtraOnions · 18/05/2025 12:51

Why would you force an injured person, who is on crutches, and probably still in pain, out the house, to go sit on a bench .. watching someone else playing ? If you thought they needed fresh air, open a window, or put a chair outside.

BreakfastClubBlues · 18/05/2025 12:52

Well yes, his Dad is his biggest male role model.

BoredZelda · 18/05/2025 12:52

Google divorce lawyers and leave this man. It will only benefit your children to do so.

No idea how old your children are, but taking a very hard line with your son on this is vital. Call him out and let him know he cannot talk to you that way.

Nanny0gg · 18/05/2025 12:54

How old are the children and why did you insist the injured one had to go to the park?

The way your husband spoke to you was vile and the kids will pick up on it

You need a firm conversation with him

ilovepixie · 18/05/2025 12:55

I would not take an injured child to the park! It’s a bit weird, he can’t do anything and had to watch his brother have all the fun! What age is he.

ButterCrackers · 18/05/2025 12:56

ilovepixie · 18/05/2025 12:55

I would not take an injured child to the park! It’s a bit weird, he can’t do anything and had to watch his brother have all the fun! What age is he.

Fresh air is important as is being outside somewhere different.

Dreichweather · 18/05/2025 12:56

I agree with the comment about taking a child to the park he can’t play in. Take him some where he can manage eg cafe, cinema.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 18/05/2025 12:57

I say this a lot, but honestly, why are you with this man? He doesn't respect you, nor does he sound like he even likes you.

You need to pack up and ltb, and show your oldest what happens when you don't respect the woman you're married to.

rainbowstardrops · 18/05/2025 12:58

I think that there is way more to this!

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 18/05/2025 12:59

When he’s shouting “stop talking over me” at you in conversations are you, in fact, talking over him?

ACynicalDad · 18/05/2025 12:59

Neither of you come out of this smelling of roses. Poor child.

Butchyrestingface · 18/05/2025 12:59

The way your husband speaks to you is unacceptable. Presumably he said all this in front of the kids?

I’ve basically noticed DS repeating word for word phrases he has heard DH say about me - another is shouting at me saying “Stop talking over me!” when we are having a conversation etc.

Is there any truth in this? Do you talk over other people a lot?

There are just a few elements in your story that I'm not sure about (though I absolutely feel your husband is behaving very badly and the kids seem to following his lead).

I have a relative whose husband makes PA comments about how everything has to be her way. And he's right. She rides roughshod over him the way she rides roughshod over everyone else in her life (including not letting anyone else have the chance to finish a sentence). It must be exhausting.

uncomfortablydumb60 · 18/05/2025 13:00

His Dad is is his greatest role model but tbh why take a child on crutches to the park!!
No wonder you had to drag him off the sofa.. just because YOU thought it best
Your DH was wrong to say it How he did but I agree with him in principle

ExtraOnions · 18/05/2025 13:00

ButterCrackers · 18/05/2025 12:56

Fresh air is important as is being outside somewhere different.

Show quote history

What is the difference between being outside at your own house, and, outside at the park ? Why is it “important” to be somewhere different?

(also, the air coming through your window is the same as the air outside)

Original poster
StripeyBalloon · 18/05/2025 13:00

Dreichweather · 18/05/2025 12:56

I agree with the comment about taking a child to the park he can’t play in. Take him some where he can manage eg cafe, cinema.

He did take him out for lunch the other day but it was more a case of him having some fresh air and I got him a slushie etc, he’s a teen so not going to be too upset at not playing in the park etc

OP posts:
Original poster
StripeyBalloon · 18/05/2025 13:02

ExtraOnions · 18/05/2025 13:00

What is the difference between being outside at your own house, and, outside at the park ? Why is it “important” to be somewhere different?

(also, the air coming through your window is the same as the air outside)

Show quote history

He won’t sit in the garden either or have windows open 😬

OP posts:
ButterCrackers · 18/05/2025 13:03

ExtraOnions · 18/05/2025 13:00

What is the difference between being outside at your own house, and, outside at the park ? Why is it “important” to be somewhere different?

(also, the air coming through your window is the same as the air outside)

Show quote history

Try it yourself to get an answer. If you have a local park you could sit there and be in a natural environment. If you are in an urban environment without a park in easy distance see if there are benches where you could take a break.

Codlingmoths · 18/05/2025 13:03

ExtraOnions · 18/05/2025 12:51

Why would you force an injured person, who is on crutches, and probably still in pain, out the house, to go sit on a bench .. watching someone else playing ? If you thought they needed fresh air, open a window, or put a chair outside.

lots of good reasons. If you have a hip replacement they want you standing up later that day. The same if you have a baby. In general, moving speeds recovery, and stops everything else atrophying. One of my dcs friends fractured a bone a week ago. They are still training in various sports per doctors orders, just can’t play competitive games.

BreakfastClubBlues · 18/05/2025 13:03

ExtraOnions · 18/05/2025 13:00

What is the difference between being outside at your own house, and, outside at the park ? Why is it “important” to be somewhere different?

(also, the air coming through your window is the same as the air outside)

Show quote history

I would absolutely get my injured child out the house if it was practical.

It's not good for your mental health to sit on the sofa for days on end. It definitely doesn't make the OP an awful, nasty piece of work. The DH is doing a good job of convincing her children that she is though.

Calmdownpeople · 18/05/2025 13:05

Triggering? How is this triggering?

helpfulperson · 18/05/2025 13:05

It sounds like you are determined that your family need to go out and do things. Be honest is there any truth in what your husband says? He shouldnt speak to you like that but do you have a track record for insisting everyone does what you think is good for them?

Original poster
StripeyBalloon · 18/05/2025 13:05

Nanny0gg · 18/05/2025 12:54

How old are the children and why did you insist the injured one had to go to the park?

The way your husband spoke to you was vile and the kids will pick up on it

You need a firm conversation with him

DH actually agreed in the house that DS should try and get fresh air and move around a bit more. Then changed his tune in the car that I was forcing my agenda and everyone was doing it to please me. It was only 30 minutes in the park out of the whole day.

OP posts:
MrsPlantagenet · 18/05/2025 13:07

Why did the whole family have to go?

Why not just go somewhere with the teen?

Your husband sounds like he hates you, btw.

Pancakeflipper · 18/05/2025 13:08

They aren't very respectful of you. This is likely to lead to how they view women/girls and how they treat them in daily life. I'd be fuming. I'm.the only female in our household and there is no way I'd put up with being spoken to like that.

And I don't see an issue with getting your son out for fresh air, a change if scene and some mobility to help prevent muscle wastage (less physio needed later).

Swipe left for the next trending thread