Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

[OverTheRainbow22]

My partner has been a new Dad before as he has a child from a previous relationship. He has been supportive through the pregnancy but also quite nonchalant in terms of any anxiousness I had about how life would change, says we will quickly adapt and it’s nothing to worry about and he’s been there and done it before.

He said it’s tradition in his friendship group to go out and wet the baby’s head. This was set for today as our baby is now more settled in and I’m finding my feet after a challenging first couple of weeks.

He said he was going to the pub for a gathering his best friend arranged but they actually got the train to another town nearby. He is not going to be back for another half hour or so, and went out early afternoon. Based on his messages, he is pretty slaughtered too.

I’m unimpressed to say the least given I was led to believe he’d be a couple of hours. Is this extreme by ‘wetting the baby’s head’ standards or should I let it go and ‘bank’ an outing for myself?

This sounds weird and dangerous. All is probably fine, but it's really irresponsible behaviour. I have literally never heard of it.

My husband never did this. I think it’s an insane tradition, full stop. Just an excuse for a man to get pissed and abdicate all responsibility for his new baby and partner.

What a prick. Is this 1959?!

Who on earth goes out to ‘wet the babies head’ anymore?

He's getting pissed over the new baby's head. He's done it before.

I imagine for him it actually means an all day bender. For you it's a day feeling in knots of anxiety. Not good.

Sounds like any excuse for a piss up.....🙄

Oh, wait? The baby is at home with you while he gets pissed? When is it your turn? (If you even want to do such a thing)

Yes, and I haven’t ever really indulged in the tradition to be honest, I’d prefer a spa day !

Well. Now you know the type of man you’ve had a baby with. What are you going to do about it?

It was traditional back when new mum was well looked after hospital and after visiting hour. Times have changed.

What an arsehole.

It's selfish arse hole behavior. Just bloody selfish.

So when are you going out for the day op? With your pals and getting drunk?

My OH done this and he’s been out with friends when they’ve had their babies. I too was pissed off, but I genuinely think he had every confidence in me to be fine with the baby all day, where as I was a nervous wreck and thought I wouldn’t be able to cope. Make sure to have a day out with your friends and celebrate you!

Eh?
I’m sure op is just fine with the baby.
It’s hardly the issue.

This is shit behaviour. Fine to meet his mates in the pub for a couple whilst they congratulate him - I’m sure you wouldn’t want them all round and whilst it’s just an excuse it can be a tradition and an hour is no great deal.

But to be gone all afternoon, without even discussing it with you.

youll need to raise it with him when he’s sober, and hopefully he apologises and goes on to be an excellent partner to you. It’s not an encouraging sign though, I hope you can get through to him.

Agree with Dreichweather. In days gone by mums and babies usually stayed in hospital for 10 days and there were very strict visiting times.

My husband certainly didn't go out to do this, but we definitely wet the babies with visitors at home!

Now you know why he was nonchalant about the changes of a new baby - because he didn’t see many, his life carried on as normal, to the point it was reasonable to lie to your partner, go to another town and get slaughtered drunk when she’s struggling at home with a new born. I imagine it’s quite easy to be a parent to a new born when that’s your role.

Hopefully this is a one off, if not you have a problem.

Book yourself a spa day for next weekend and let him crack on.

Can't think why his relationship with his first child's mother didn't work out....

My DH didn't go and get wasted to celebrate our child being born. His friends didn't do that either. I wouldn't have liked my DH drunk and incoherent when we had a newborn. There's a difference between having a couple of beers with friends and getting shit faced.

This, my partner and our parents had a cheeky drink back home to celebrate the birth of our first, after they'd all been kicked out of the hospital for the evening.

As in... One drink, a quick toast?

Pretty sure that's all that's typical!

Have you had a talk, or several, with the mother of his older child? Tbh I would give her a call while he's out. Inform yourself about what you're in for.

Lol he is not literally wetting the baby's head, it's an expression 😅