Partner has gone on an all dayer ‘Wetting the baby’s head’

[OverTheRainbow22]

My partner has been a new Dad before as he has a child from a previous relationship. He has been supportive through the pregnancy but also quite nonchalant in terms of any anxiousness I had about how life would change, says we will quickly adapt and it’s nothing to worry about and he’s been there and done it before.

He said it’s tradition in his friendship group to go out and wet the baby’s head. This was set for today as our baby is now more settled in and I’m finding my feet after a challenging first couple of weeks.

He said he was going to the pub for a gathering his best friend arranged but they actually got the train to another town nearby. He is not going to be back for another half hour or so, and went out early afternoon. Based on his messages, he is pretty slaughtered too.

I’m unimpressed to say the least given I was led to believe he’d be a couple of hours. Is this extreme by ‘wetting the baby’s head’ standards or should I let it go and ‘bank’ an outing for myself?

What a catch. Does he also piss in random places in the house when he's inebriated?

Let him enjoy himself and then you enjoy yourself one day soon. It’s important for you both to still get time away. Just make sure you get a date in.

I am cackling here at the people who think he’s literally wetting the baby’s head with alcohol as he pours it all down himself
and onto the baby 😂

Yes, let’s divorce him because he wants to celebrate the birth of his child. FFS

Wetting the babies head was very common in the north and used to be absolutely standard, although getting less common these days now.

You've never heard of men using a new baby as an excuse to go on a drinking session? Strange.

It’s an old-fashioned tradition and a ‘type’ of man who does it.

@KarCat that’s one low bar

It was traditional in the 1950s when looking after baby was woman’s work

Can’t see the problem myself, it’s very common where I’m from, I’d have been more shocked if my husband hadn’t gone out to ‘wet the babies head’ following his arrival. Was a lovely day spending time with my new baby all on our own. But, I’m not you and you have every right to be annoyed about whatever you like particularly if he didn’t explain exactly what his plans were.

@OverTheRainbow22 how long have you actually known this guy and why did you choose to have a baby with him?

'Wetting the baby's head' is an old fashion bragging thing to do with having reproduced your genes again.

Tbh this is a massive tradition where I'm from (I'm in part of Greater Manchester). Every man I know has gone out to wet the baby's head and it's always a full day/night affair, I'm not saying it's a good thing or even that you should find it acceptable but I've got to be honest that I wouldn't find it unusual.

Mumsnet is bizarre, this is a totally normal tradition where I'm from. The chat on here about divorcing him because of this 🤣 It's one day ffs, and sounds like the baby's a few weeks old. Hope you get a day to yourself soon though 😊

So many women on MN with a very very low bar who are married to inadequate men.

If it’s a one off day out then it’s fine, if it’s a regular weekend occurrence then I wouldn’t be happy.

dh had a night out after our first child was born, I didn’t mind as he rarely goes out .

It’s the insinuations that those of us who don’t think our children’s fathers should be chained to the front door and can manage perfectly well for a day without him and so we must have ‘very low bars’ that I find hysterical!

Hmm, reading between the lines, was he downplaying how much life will change with a baby because he had no intention of his life changing at all? Did he do a lot of looking after his baby from his other relationship or just leave his ex to do it all?

Anyway, I have heard of wetting the baby's head, but an all day bender is not it

Your correct, she should LTB, ten minute after a baby is born.

Loony response.

It’s not weird or dangerous, it’s just another excuse for men to get drunk, it’s been happening for generations

My thoughts too. 'It's all fine' - he carried on as usual and his ex partner dumped him for being a shit partner and father

It is a tradition and people still do it. It’s just a celebration of the baby being born. Men are usually the participants for obvious reasons.
I wouldn’t be happy about him coming home slaughtered or taking the piss with time, but at a few weeks old I don’t think its terrible that he’s gone out.

He wanted to go out and celebrate becoming a dad again , it would not bother me . If it was every week I would be annoyed but I would bank it and take the opportunity to spend some time getting to know my new baby. I would also look forward to him taking the slack the next day .

This is a tradition where I’m from too, maybe a northern thing…he went out when the baby was 5 days old - I had my best friend round for a takeaway and catch up while he was out.

In the late 80s when we had our first, mums were in hospital for 7 days..DH and his mates went out on the lash while I was still in the hospital. He was very hungover when he saw my DGM who thought he was coming down with something and knitted him a scarf! 😅
I was fine about it, they didn't get into trouble, I and baby weren't there anyway. If he generally pulls weight fine, if its a pattern of self absorbed behaviour then it's not.

Exactly this.

It doesn’t surprise me that some sort of ‘wetting the baby’s head’ ritual is still A Thing in some circles.

In this case specifically though, I do question why on earth it’s necessary to start drinking during the day. I guess afternoon pints in pubs going through to the evening just = far, far too much alcohol. But I feel equally turned off by bottomless brunches. What’s wrong with meeting 7:00pm in the pub for a few drinks and being home before 11:00pm.

OP, I’d also find this really annoying. However, if in the grand scheme of things he is great in all the other ways I’d register my disappointment and then move on. It’s a one-off.

Is he an older OP, or from a more traditional WC background? I think this was more common within mining communities and similar .I think as a one off OK unless he makes a habit of it!