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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

189 replies

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

OP posts:
Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:12

Well YANBU to not want to have rubbish thrown in the garden, but I don't understand why you needed to specify that they are renters ?

Stichintime · 17/05/2025 14:14

Put a higher fence up?

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:16

Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:12

Well YANBU to not want to have rubbish thrown in the garden, but I don't understand why you needed to specify that they are renters ?

Well 1) to clarify that they are new and weren’t here when we moved in, in case anyone suggests we should have been more mindful of this when we ourselves moved into the house, and 2) in case there is any advice specific to the fact that they are renters, I suppose. I’m sure I would be asked down the line.

OP posts:
Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:17

Stichintime · 17/05/2025 14:14

Put a higher fence up?

Thanks. It’s already pretty high, to be honest! The little girl may just have a future in shot put.

OP posts:
Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:18

You have to go round and talk to them.
Its uncomfortable but its the only way.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

servingkant · 17/05/2025 14:20

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:16

Well 1) to clarify that they are new and weren’t here when we moved in, in case anyone suggests we should have been more mindful of this when we ourselves moved into the house, and 2) in case there is any advice specific to the fact that they are renters, I suppose. I’m sure I would be asked down the line.

Yea it’s still not relevant.

JDM625 · 17/05/2025 14:21

My FIL had very similar. The child is 8 and autistic. The neighbours were renovating and the child would often climb up the scaffolding! He throws all manner of things into my FIL's garden- plates which smash, parts of bricks, lumps of concrete etc. Yes, FIL had spoken to the parents multiple times! I asked for advice on here and someone suggested speaking to social services.

I called them and they said that yes, they certainly would look into it more, especially why the child was unsupervised and had access to such things to lob over the fence. I didn't know the child's name, address etc etc so left it at that stage.

I'd throw the rubbish back but start keeping the toys and put into your bin/donate to charity. You could install a large trellis, higher the fence, and grow things up it. If you have tried speaking to the parents though and nothing is changing, I'd call social services.

Pickingdates · 17/05/2025 14:22

Put up a camera to record it and tell them you will contact their landlord if they refuse to take control.

I wouldn't leave a baby out there in a pram etc.if random items are being thrown over.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:22

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

Nope. It’s just simply not something that we would do. I appreciate items like the trampoline can’t be packed up of course, but I would worry about hygiene with toys being left out there all of the time. We have lots of nesting birds around at the moment in our trees at the bottom of the garden, so bird muck alone would be an issue.

OP posts:
tinyspiny · 17/05/2025 14:22

If the fence isn’t maximum allowable height then change it , then just chuck everything back including the rubbish don’t worry about things being spoiled by being dropped just drop them over . They are not going to start supervising because of you moaning . If the rubbish coming over continues complain to the landlord .

ClearFruit · 17/05/2025 14:23

You lost me at 'renters'. Completely irrelevant.

LandSharksAnonymous · 17/05/2025 14:23

Toss the crap back. Keep the toys.

That'll stop them being so inconsiderate pretty quickly tbh.

GretaGip · 17/05/2025 14:23

Oh, the idealism 😂.

Aka

Petra Perfect Pre Parent

ThinWomansBrain · 17/05/2025 14:23

Just tell the child directly not to throw balls/toys into your garden - and don't return them.

That there garden is a tip, or the neighbours have the audacity to smoke in their own garden - I don't think there's a great deal you cen do about that.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:24

Pickingdates · 17/05/2025 14:22

Put up a camera to record it and tell them you will contact their landlord if they refuse to take control.

I wouldn't leave a baby out there in a pram etc.if random items are being thrown over.

Thank you! That’s a good suggestion. I do feel that we’ve spoken to them sufficiently once before, so maybe we’ll try that again one more time and then give this approach a go. We wouldn’t leave her out there unattended, but the little tot next door has some throw on her by the looks of it, so there’s always the chance of stray items, e.g. the golf ball scenario.

OP posts:
JDM625 · 17/05/2025 14:25

I's install this. She will lose interest and lob it over the other side. You could then remove it.

Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden
spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 14:26

If they're renting let the landlord know they're being a nuisance.

Don't say 'sorry' to them when their stuff comes over the fence.

Don't return their stuff, put their stuff that ends up in your garden in the bin, use their bin if you can access it easily.

Mynewnameis · 17/05/2025 14:27

A 4 or 5 year old doesn't usually wear a nappy. So she's either younger than you think or possibly has special needs.
Things like golf balls i wouldn't throw back.

nomas · 17/05/2025 14:27

spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 14:26

If they're renting let the landlord know they're being a nuisance.

Don't say 'sorry' to them when their stuff comes over the fence.

Don't return their stuff, put their stuff that ends up in your garden in the bin, use their bin if you can access it easily.

Yes, any way to find out who the LL is?

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:28

JDM625 · 17/05/2025 14:21

My FIL had very similar. The child is 8 and autistic. The neighbours were renovating and the child would often climb up the scaffolding! He throws all manner of things into my FIL's garden- plates which smash, parts of bricks, lumps of concrete etc. Yes, FIL had spoken to the parents multiple times! I asked for advice on here and someone suggested speaking to social services.

I called them and they said that yes, they certainly would look into it more, especially why the child was unsupervised and had access to such things to lob over the fence. I didn't know the child's name, address etc etc so left it at that stage.

I'd throw the rubbish back but start keeping the toys and put into your bin/donate to charity. You could install a large trellis, higher the fence, and grow things up it. If you have tried speaking to the parents though and nothing is changing, I'd call social services.

Thanks for this. We had read that we can’t legally keep any items, but I did float the idea with DH that we could bag them all up over, say, a week and take them around in one go, using it is an opportunity to speak with them again.

OP posts:
Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:30

nomas · 17/05/2025 14:27

Yes, any way to find out who the LL is?

We know who the rental company is as we had used them ourselves in the past, so we would be able to contact them I imagine and go that route.

OP posts:
CarlaH · 17/05/2025 14:31

There is relevance to them renting. A landlord can be contacted who might be able to change their behaviours. If they own and don't care the buck stops with them.

doodleZ1 · 17/05/2025 14:33

Not sure how they would know what was lobbed over the fence to you. So I wouldnt worry about the legal position. You are not their personal storage facility either. If they were really annoying me I wouldn’t return a thing, especially golf balls. Is there another neighbour facing the same issues on the other side of them?

Maray1967 · 17/05/2025 14:33

Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:18

You have to go round and talk to them.
Its uncomfortable but its the only way.

This. And you need to be firm. In our case, DH went round and spoke to the dad ( house across the back, so not our next door neighbours). DS was a toddler then. DH explained very clearly that golf balls being whacked over the fence into our garden was not acceptable. If it continued, he would throw them back even harder no matter who was in their garden. Sounds rude, but the parents knew their DC were hitting golf balls and knew we had a toddler. We never had an issue from then on, as I heard the dad go straight into the garden and tell his DC to hand over all the golf balls as they’d been stupid…

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