Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

[Itsybitsyteenycleany]

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

If you also rent, move. If not prepare for the worst or sell up.

To be honest, we’re not looking to sell with a newborn baby when we’ve never had any issues with neighbours before (am I allowed to say we own this house or will I be crucified for apparently slighting renters, even though we’ve rented ourselves before plenty of times? Who knows). We’re very fond of where we live and importantly we’re in a good school catchment area for DD once she’s old enough. We’ve done work on the property and set up a home that we’re proud of for our new, little family. Hopefully we can either sort it with them (thanks to some of the very helpful advice here) or perhaps they’ll not stay too long themselves anyway.

Could you install a safety net over part of your garden at all and not nice if the dad is smoking weed we had a neighbour a few years ago smoked it in his garden and it does travel stinks hope you get sorted and congratulations x

I'm surprised there's so many negative comments on this post!
I myself would be really frustrated by this. We had a neighbour who's kid would climb up on the fence and laugh at us and they'd throw things over when he had his mates round.
Luckily his Mum a decent person so I'd just go round and tell her and she'd apologise and have a word!
If talking to them hasn't helped I would do what others have said and go to LL/letting agent but I'd probably have another word, be firmer and then if nothing changes go to LL!

It’s certainly an option we can look at! Though I wonder then if we’ll just end up with a with a lovely decorative ceiling to our garden, courtesy of little lady and made up of shoes, teddy bears, hoover parts, cardboard boxes, old tools, golf balls and bits of old prams. 😂 Thank you very much. ☺️

You can't keep them forever but you can gather them and keep them for a long while before you give them back or wait for them to ask.
The girl will soon learn nothing gets returned if she lobs it over

Oh bless her. Thank you! Yes, I think we’ll give it one last shot speaking to them. I really hate the thought of speaking to the LL; however, this has been going on for a few months now and doesn’t seem to be getting any better! If our LO was hit while crawling around the grass or doing wet play, for example, I’d be so upset with myself for not being firmer.

Thanks, this is a helpful suggestion.

Look at cat proofing your garden then hopefully it won’t get over the fence. The kid must be really strong.

I would just stop throwing stuff back and deny you have it. I mean the Hoover hose!! Are you sure it’s not the parents

Well I suppose things like golf balls and tools aren’t particularly heavy, but they can’t half do some damage on the way back down when thrown up in the air and gravity gets a hold of them. And eek! I do hope not… I doubt it. The “junk” is interspersed with the more welcome garden visitors of teddy bears.

I give you 18 months! We've all been precious first time parents who say "my child will never" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'd not return things like golf balls. The rest of it I'd save up and give back once a week. Sounds like crap parenting! Can you add trellis and grow clematis etc to make it harder for balls to come over?

If they are renting then maybe they'll move on soon.

Stop throwing it back they will eventually run out of stuff

Bring your child's toys in so they don't go mouldy, don't be a scruff 🤢

So you think this is something all children just do? My daughter is 10 and has never behaved like this. Because I’m bringing her up properly. You know….boundaries?

It’s not irrelevant, as the OP has explained.

What a stupid comment! Of course it’s relevant!! Id they owned the house they’d have a lot less say, being renters they can contact the landlord to speak with them and if they keep being a nuisance they’ll be in breech of their tenancy. You’ve obviously got a chip on your shoulder about being a renter yourself maybe. In this case it’s totally relevant.

It might have more impact if you collected up the items for a few days. If it’s something the child wants back, the parents will have to have to come round for it. That might make them think twice about letting her do it because it’s embarrassing. Or, they won’t come round, and you or DH can take the stuff round and say ‘this is all the stuff your daughter has thrown into our garden over the past week. We need this to stop now please or we will be reporting to your landlord’. Take a photo of the items first.

It is relevant that they are renters. Ignore the terminally offended, I believe it's a side effect of altitude sickness caused from constantly sitting on very high horses.

In addition to all the very good advice you have received, I would also take a photo of everything that comes over. If you do end up logging a complaint with LL or local council, then it will help

I'd stop returning their stuff and bin anything which is uncollected after a week. Our neighbours are similar and their lad, who was about 8 at the time, was forever throwing random stuff over the 6ft fence into our garden (space hoppers, scooters, manky half chewed food). Parents also didn't say sorry to bother you and ask kid to be more careful in future, so it got annoying after a while.

One day, he came round with his Dad to get his football back and we presented them with a box of random stuff that had been flung over that week. I got a stick and lifted up a manky pair of holey boxers and told the Dad 'I think these are yours as well'. That seemed to do the trick and we're back to the occasional football which I just toss back.

Yeah I feel like speaking to dad over the fence while he was smoking a joint doesn’t actually count as speaking to him to get the point across clearly. You need to make a point and knock on the front door and speak to them firmly. Do it when the child isn’t causing a nuisance rather than when she is and say what you are experiencing and you’ve mentioned it before but it’s now carrying on.

If it carries on then speak to landlord.

People always say 'tell the landlord', but why would the landlord care and if they did is surely much more likely to take the side of the people paying him than you.

Well, for a start there are plenty of female landlords. 😉 Secondly, the LLs that have popped up here have said they wouldn’t be too happy with renters hoarding waste on their property and a few people have mentioned this is likely against the terms and conditions of tenancy. That said, I am going to speak to the LL as a very last resort because I don’t want to cause trouble for anyone - the renters or the LL. We’ll be speaking to NDNs again more firmly first, but I can’t imagine many LLs being completely unbothered - particularly as we’ve never had an issue with any of their other tenants (all very pleasant) and so it’s not like we contact them to moan every other day. I imagine they have an obligation to address complaints about tenants.

ohhh horrible renters.
Get on to their landlord and get them chucked out and made homeless.

Or, grow up and tell the parents to put a stop to it.

JFC people. I know mumsnetters are allergic to speaking to their neighbours about things like this, and doubly allergic to renters.

Grow up. Speak to the neighbours. That is all.