Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

[Itsybitsyteenycleany]

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

I don’t know why people think the OP is strange for saying she intends to keep her garden toys inside , we have had 2 children , with the usual array of garden toys etc and the only things ever left outside have been the trampoline , swing / slide set , basketball hoop etc . The sand pit had a lid put on every night and everything else was tidied into the garage or shed , it’s really not that difficult to keep things tidy .

Throw everything away that comes over. And if they ask for anything back you haven't seen it.

These balls came over and nobody shouted FORE completely out of order.

Seems a good idea. They do seem to hold a very different mindset and parenting style though, so don’t get too stressed if it makes no difference.

Obviously, you’ll get a glimpse into their home if you do this, do speak to SS if yo have genuine neglect concerns. If the child is older and still in nappies, yes, this could be SEN but could also be caused by neglect.

Ref. Keeping the stuff - I believe that once it’s entered your property, the bit about the legality of keeping their toys probably becomes debunked, or at least, very grey! If they have that much stuff they probably wouldn’t notice, or by the sounds of it, care.

And please don’t get too anxious about germs/bacteria from the garden either, it does their gut health wonders and is good for them to not become too germ phobic either. You’ll find your balance.

She's 5 but wears a nappy?

I would try to have a conversation with them and then if nothing improves contact the estate agent/landlord about the tenants causing a nuisance.

It’s more effective to speak to them at the door not just over the fence. Go round with a couple of the items, ring the bell, say these nearly hit you, ask them directly to stop throwing things over the fence, don’t need to mention their child.

If that doesn’t work you could contact their landlord and/ or put up some sort of netting as a last resort.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/285981325930?chn=ps&_ul=GB&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=710-166974-033325-9&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=285981325930&targetid=2274951440814&device=t&mktype=pla&googleloc=9046547&poi=&campaignid=21178334576&mkgroupid=165294125023&rlsatarget=pla-2274951440814&abcId=9404410&merchantid=115584450&geoid=9046547&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21178334576&gbraid=0AAAAAD_Lr1fnkcp-PvziCUrVTCjuagfmB&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7KqwuI2vjQMVOZFQBh1pIh41EAQYAyABEgJ69PD_BwE

Ignore future posts about renters OP - some just want to have a go for no reason than to have a go. I expect it from this post but not in slightest bit bothered. You have previously mentioned you rented once and took it to mean you may be this time. I wouldn't even bother replying to them in future.
As a few have mentioned already, keep the toys in a bag out back just in case they ask for them back but return all rubbish. Good luck with the baby and I really hope you have it sorted by the time he/she arrives x

I’m a landlord and if we get complaints about tenants (which we have) then we get the agent to sort it. I’d speak to the agent asap.

👍🏻

And for those who got on their high horse about presuming the OP is anti-renters, this is why it can help to clarify the details in the picture.

OP, all the best with your own new baby!! I hope it goes as well as it can!

Landlord/property agent was my first thought.

Thank you very much! Based on plans, it looks like baby girl will be here with us next week. Thank you everyone for your help and advice.

Very best wishes, @Itsybitsyteenycleany .

Please update when baby arrives , sending best wishes for a safe and easy delivery 🌼 🌸