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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

189 replies

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

OP posts:
YYYDlilah · 17/05/2025 16:24

Wipe the soft toys on the bird shit and then throw them back.

Theunamedcat · 17/05/2025 16:28

servingkant · 17/05/2025 14:20

Yea it’s still not relevant.

It is actually because now it's a landlord issue

Theunamedcat · 17/05/2025 16:29

Just contact their landlord

suburburban · 17/05/2025 16:32

Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:12

Well YANBU to not want to have rubbish thrown in the garden, but I don't understand why you needed to specify that they are renters ?

Perhaps because sometimes they may be more carefree as it isn’t their property. I know this isn’t always the case

ThatDaringEagle · 17/05/2025 16:36

Toys in their garden, or the state of it, is not really any of your business.

However, rubbish is, especially when some of it is making it's way into your garden.

Collect everything in a bag and you or your DH call around, and explicitly ask them to stop this happening again.

If it keeps happening, keep collecting the stuff, contact the landlord, ideally give him a bag of the stuff, and ask them to deal with it & get it stopped.

Otherwise, you've got a real problem here.

P.s. they being renters is relevant. Renters have landlords, who can be contacted, etc & also many renters are less house proud &/or neighbour conscious than owners IME. Also, he being seemingly spaced out on illicit drugs he was smoking is a big issue imho. Firstly, it seems to have affected his ability to supervise his child & stop her throwing multiple things into your property, but it's also something that you don't want next door and that you don't want your child inhaling/ingesting however innocuously. E.g. what happens if their kid throws their cannabis over the fence some day say!?! It's illegal, unsociable activity and you should bring it to the LL's attention imho.

Hwi · 17/05/2025 16:43

Eccythumpy · 17/05/2025 14:12

Well YANBU to not want to have rubbish thrown in the garden, but I don't understand why you needed to specify that they are renters ?

Please don't be so unnecessarily PC - everybody knows the difference in the way owners (with a few exceptions) and renters treat their dwelling, never mind the garden!

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2025 16:50

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

Why? We never left garden toys out except unmoveable ones like sand pits

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2025 16:51

servingkant · 17/05/2025 14:20

Yea it’s still not relevant.

Yes it is, because if it continues they can contact the agent or landlord

Nanny0gg · 17/05/2025 16:54

smellyhouseelf · 17/05/2025 14:58

Omg. Not renters! Time to sell up I'm afraid. Don't want your baby being brought up next to that riff raff.

Oh behave!

myplace · 17/05/2025 16:54

Put a net up, like a cat control net. That will stop the vast majority.

And don’t return stuff. Bag it, stick it by the door ready to return if it’s asked for.

Bin at intervals.

SalfordQuays · 17/05/2025 16:55

WilfredsPies · 17/05/2025 15:19

I think you’re approaching this the wrong way. You’re working on the basis that these people are nice, reasonable and caring parents who simply don’t realise what’s happening and that, once you explain it to them, they’ll take every step to ensure that their garden is tidy and that DD is taught not to do it again. I don’t think that they are. I think that they are shit parents who don’t care what their daughter is throwing or who she’s throwing it at. I’d respond in a way that they understand.

This.
Judging by the fact that no one appears to be watching this child, and the Dad didn’t seem to give a shit when you told him what was happening, I think it’s a waste of time trying to reason with them. I’d ask them one more time, then build a 6 foot fence. And report it to the landlord.

SalfordQuays · 17/05/2025 16:58

myplace · 17/05/2025 16:54

Put a net up, like a cat control net. That will stop the vast majority.

And don’t return stuff. Bag it, stick it by the door ready to return if it’s asked for.

Bin at intervals.

@myplace the problem is they sound like the kind of parents who won’t give a shit about missing toys anyway. The dad didn’t even know that the toys OP produced actually belonged to his child. Until the little girl starts throwing over his cigarettes and his lighter, he’s unlikely to care.

spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 17:03

tigerlady14 · 17/05/2025 15:03

YANBU for being annoyed with things being thrown into your garden, especially golf balls and I totally understand your concern for yourselves and your baby (congrats btw!) BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all. unless you are concerned for the child’s welfare then all of this is not relevant at all and just makes it seem like you look down on these people. by all means tackle the issue of the throwing as that is not acceptable and there is some good advice on the thread on how to go about dealing with this, but your opinions on how they conduct their own personal business are unnecessary IMO. congrats again on becoming a mother and hope you can get this sorted so you can enjoy your garden with your LO <3

Its all useful information to build up a bigger picture /profile of the people living next door.

spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 17:05

Onelifeonly · 17/05/2025 14:45

Why be passive aggressive when a straight forward conversation might work? If they are unreasonable people, things could escalate.

OP has already had a straight forward conversation with these irksome people, and got precisely nowhere. The child's behaviour has gone unchecked by the parents.

Time for a different approach.

SalfordQuays · 17/05/2025 17:15

tigerlady14 · 17/05/2025 15:03

YANBU for being annoyed with things being thrown into your garden, especially golf balls and I totally understand your concern for yourselves and your baby (congrats btw!) BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all. unless you are concerned for the child’s welfare then all of this is not relevant at all and just makes it seem like you look down on these people. by all means tackle the issue of the throwing as that is not acceptable and there is some good advice on the thread on how to go about dealing with this, but your opinions on how they conduct their own personal business are unnecessary IMO. congrats again on becoming a mother and hope you can get this sorted so you can enjoy your garden with your LO <3

@tigerlady14 meanwhile, back in the real world, we know that people who sit smoking weed in their garden, which is full of crap, while their young child is playing in front of them, are basically skanky scummers, and I will happily judge them. It’s only on MN that we have to pretend people like this don’t exist, or that they are beautiful beings who are misunderstood !!

IButtleSir · 17/05/2025 17:15

ArtTheClown · 17/05/2025 15:42

BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all

Meh. We all judge, and honestly society could do with a bit more judgement for scummy behaviour.

100% agree!

Calmdownpeople · 17/05/2025 17:18

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:17

Thanks. It’s already pretty high, to be honest! The little girl may just have a future in shot put.

OP seriously if it a a high fence and she is only a little girl she must have a serious Olympic throw. I seriously doubt she is dangerous to you to your pregnancy. I suspect you are more annoyed than concerned which is perfectly fine.

Don’t give the stuff back (not sure they would notice anyway).

Who cares what their garden looks like? Again I think maybe you just don’t like it.

Enko · 17/05/2025 17:21

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 17/05/2025 14:18

we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside

I give you less than 2 years…

Why? I have 4 children we never left toys not intended to be permanent in the garden (like a trampoline mentioned) overnight. We tidied up each evening.

I dont think that's uncommon either.

Calmdownpeople · 17/05/2025 17:24

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:22

Nope. It’s just simply not something that we would do. I appreciate items like the trampoline can’t be packed up of course, but I would worry about hygiene with toys being left out there all of the time. We have lots of nesting birds around at the moment in our trees at the bottom of the garden, so bird muck alone would be an issue.

😂😂

Agree with the poster - clearly you don’t have children. Are you seriously going to bring in every muddy ball, water toy, bike, frisbee, slides, skipping rope, etc. every day?

No of course not. Oh the things people say when they idiolise their children’s lives before they arrive.

Also, if you disagree (which is perfectly you right) you may want to brace yourself for the everything in the the mouth phase including dirt. Crawling on dirty floors (because floors are generally a bit dirty) and hands in mouths and of course starting school. Sharing everything and touching everything.

getsomehelp · 17/05/2025 17:29

If asking them seriously to keep their garbage, & not injure anyone or break windows does not remedy this, bag up the junk, empty it on their door step with a note, "thought you might want this shit back". & repeat

Enko · 17/05/2025 17:33

Calmdownpeople · 17/05/2025 17:24

😂😂

Agree with the poster - clearly you don’t have children. Are you seriously going to bring in every muddy ball, water toy, bike, frisbee, slides, skipping rope, etc. every day?

No of course not. Oh the things people say when they idiolise their children’s lives before they arrive.

Also, if you disagree (which is perfectly you right) you may want to brace yourself for the everything in the the mouth phase including dirt. Crawling on dirty floors (because floors are generally a bit dirty) and hands in mouths and of course starting school. Sharing everything and touching everything.

I disagree with this. I have 4 andnthia was not a situation we had. We tidied up each day.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 17:33

Calmdownpeople · 17/05/2025 17:18

OP seriously if it a a high fence and she is only a little girl she must have a serious Olympic throw. I seriously doubt she is dangerous to you to your pregnancy. I suspect you are more annoyed than concerned which is perfectly fine.

Don’t give the stuff back (not sure they would notice anyway).

Who cares what their garden looks like? Again I think maybe you just don’t like it.

It’s about 6ft. As mentioned, they do have a trampoline, so whether or not this is aiding her, I’m not sure. The shot put mention was tongue in cheek. Else she could be standing on other items - as I say, it’s a very cluttered garden with lots of black bags and packaging piled up. And the reason I mention it’s a cluttered garden is relevant IMO because it’s largely waste (non perishable it looks like; more so what you’re left with after a good ol’ clear out) with then toys scattered amongst it. That, I believe, is what is enabling this situation. It’s not about what I like or don’t like - I do personally think this is relevant. As I mentioned in my OP, I was almost hit by a golf ball, and then our French doors were hit by three more. Things like this could do some damage, either to people or property. As also mentioned previously, we had a Hoover hose fly over this week. If the waste was cleared up, the mini Olympian would not have anything other than soft things to throw over. Don’t get me wrong, that’s still not ideal… but it’s much more manageable from a safety perspective than her getting her hands on her dad’s old golf balls etc.

OP posts:
TinyTempest · 17/05/2025 17:37

Stick some football netting on the top of your fences, that should stop it.

Then your next door 'renters' won't be able to throw anything over.

YYYDlilah · 17/05/2025 17:38

idealise
You'll be the perfect parent. Your baby won't be handed a dummy or a device.
You'll BF, until PFB decides they want to try other food. PFB will be sleep trained to only wake up when you decide , potty trained, never tantrum, ...

Roll on a few months...

Blinky21 · 17/05/2025 17:39

Talk to them first if they ignore you, go to the landlord, their contract will say they need to maintain the garden and rubbish piling up is a safety and health hazard. We've had similar issues with our neighbours, who rent. I speak directly to the maintenance company when there's an issue and they always fix it. The neighbours don't seem to care either way and we get on with them well