Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

[Itsybitsyteenycleany]

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

@Brefugee , OP might be renting herself, so your posts seem tone deaf.

@Itsybitsyteenycleany , it was in response to a typo on a previous post. It wasn't directed at you specifically.

I explained in my OP that we have spoken to them
before, but yes we’ll definitely be speaking to them again, more firmly this time.

No one is “allergic” to renters (?) We’ve rented ourselves plenty of times before and we were good friends with the previous neighbours. I’ve never compared our situations in my post either. Still, speaking to LL is very much a last resort as it does create hassle for everyone involved and that’s not what we want. We just want for rubbish and hard items to stop being sent over for the various reasons I’ve outlined.

then learn to stop talking about people who rent as though they are scum.

If you aren't brave enough to speak to neighbours properly, send your DH. If that doesn't work, try the council.

Honestly, you are old enough to have been really clever and actually buy a house. Now behave like an adult. You could even, if you catch the child in the act - gasp! - tell the child firmly to stop it.

I’m sorry but I fear you may be projecting. We’ve really not done that at all.

As I’ve outlined, I have spoken to the dad (and daughter, who was there after “catching her in the act”) before, but YES, we (one or both of us - I don’t necessarily need to “send DH” on my behalf) will be speaking to them again more firmly and taking all items that pop over during the course of the next few days around in a black bag. I wasn’t going to go all gung-ho in tone when speaking to the dad the first time as firstly I didn’t feel it necessary to make my initial point and secondly at that time I hadn’t spoken to him before so didn’t know how he would react.

The girl is just a little tot. She doesn’t really understand and I’m certainly not going to start telling her off over the wall. She’s very sweet and often plays with our dog through the front window while he is in our window. As I say, if the garden was not host to numerous waste items, then she wouldn’t be able to get her hands on inappropriate items, like old golf balls, to throw. This is our main issue.

If it makes you feel any better, I would be just as unhappy with neighbours who owned hoarding items in this way. Their homeowner/renter status is only relevant in a sense that it provides different opportunities for escalation - which, as I say, I’d really like to avoid anyway, but still very relevant. I didn’t want to drip feed this info.

Anyway, we’re off to see some very dear renter friends of ours now. That’s if we can stand to be in the same vicinity as them because we’re such awful judgemental people who have, of course, home-owned since we left the womb! Have a lovely day.

Made me laugh no idea of what's to come 😂😂

We already tidy small play items away when our young niece comes to stay, because we don’t want them getting bird muck on them, or becoming mouldy etc. I don’t see why this would change with our own DC, but each to their own.

@Itsybitsyteenycleany , don't forget to remind your scummy dear friends that Renting Is Money Down The Drain, And That They Are Paying Someone Else's Mortgage.
If you are home-owners, refer to your house as Foot On The Property Ladder throughout.

Wow, you need to work on that massive shoulder chip

OP hasn't said anything about renters being 'scum' only you have suggested that.

Take a step back and consider that what you're really saying is projecting your own prejudices.

Why? My dd is 3 next week and when we're done playing outside, stuff gets put away in her toy box or the garage for bigger stuff.... it is possible to not leave shit all over the garden

This

As is the nappy comment. Completely irrelevant.

😂

Yes, having an occasionally visiting neice is exactly the same as having your own child there 24/7.

Good luck op.

and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

I am sorry, but I am cringing for you. A polite laugh for good measure? Grow up, or at least grow a backbone for god’s sake. How measly can you be.

Given her parents seem very "relaxed" I'd be looking into ways of increasing the physical barrier to make it impossible for missiles to make it over - how high is your fence? Can you put up trellis/climbing flowers to make it higher? Look into agriframes, tuscan trees, a long trough planter with fast growing bamboo or willow (don't put this in a bed or it will take over)

I will judge him for smoking a joint around that poor little girl. How unpleasant

Talk to your landlord, document anything

Also local council, police if father is smoking drugs in front of daughter, put up a higher fence

Please check back on in 3 years time to let us know how your sensory play and nature spotting is going.

Don't go down the tit for tat route or the police may become involved. Find out who the landlord is. Write to whoever it is stating clearly what's happening. Try to do it through email if possible but if you need to send it snail mail, get a signature. If its a housing association, you can speak to them as they should have officers and policies to deal with anti-social behaviour of tenants (yes it is ASB, not just the actions of the child but also her parents, nothing will happen to the child but parents will have a tennancy agreement setting out standards of behaviour for everyone occupying the house). The rubbish if inflammable is a fire hazard and any food wrappers, disgarded food etc, will attract vermin at some point. Keep a record of every thing happening with pictures if necessary but don't give the lanlord too long to act. If nothing is done, contact the Community Safety/ASB reduction team in your local authority. They have the power to act and includes forcing evictions, closing premises and at a lower level, holding landlords to account. What you mustn't do is resort to threats and don't permanently keep anything that comes over but do record it. Best of luck.

I think you need to stay polite but be firmer. That the child is throwing multiple things at you in your garden and can they please address it as if she hit you or caused you to fall you're worried about baby.

The toys and rubbish you'll have to make your peace with because they can live like pigs if they want to in their garden

No, I don’t think they can “live like pigs”, can they? If they have black bags of rubbish in their garden, then I bet they have rats too. The local council will want to hear about that.

There are two issues here - the throwing and the state of the garden, which is encouraging the throwing and seems to be being used as a rubbish dump. For the throwing, speak to the parents, but I’d also contact the council and report the rubbish. It doesn’t sound safe for the child, for a start.

Report them to the council and landlord, say that you’ve seen rats on their property, scurrying about in the rubbish dump they’ve created, and you are concerned you’ll get them too.

I rent and when my sister was buying a house she kept saying it needed a lot work doing ...as it had rented out before!
On and on they went about renters...

It's possible there are rats.
I walk past a house on my way to the shop. It used to have junk etc all over the front lawn and up against the neighbour's wall. It was even worse than what you describe @Itsybitsyteenycleany .
One day I walked past and noticed it had all been cleared but there was a pest control van parked there.
I think it's irrelevant for people to imagine what OP will/won't be like as a parent and whether outside toys will be tidied up.
The point is how her neighbours mess is affecting her right now...I would go mad at them, personally.

Complain to their landlord or rental agency.

You have the right plan - tell them clearly what's happening and give them a chance to stop it. Complain loudly and immediately the very next time anything is thrown - shout loudly over that fence.

Next stop, complain to the landlords via the estate agents. Yes, many landlords absolutely will do something about it.