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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour’s child throwing rubbish into our garden

189 replies

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:09

We had new renters move into the property next door about 4/5 months ago. They have one DD of about 4/5 years’ old.

At first they seemed fine, but the problems have started since the weather has been nicer (since about end March).

For context, right now it’s just my husband and I in our house. Although, I’m 9 months’ pregnant, so there’ll be one more very soon!

We look after our house and garden, and tend to plants etc. We like to spend time out there often - reading the paper, eating lunch, and so on - when the weather is nice.

The new neighbours, meanwhile, have taken to storing lots of household rubbish (packaging, old hoovers, prams etc.) in their garden. They also have a multitude of toys out there at all times, scattered all across the garden (which isn’t particularly large I might add), for their DC to play with, inc. a trampoline, paddling pool and a great deal many smaller items such as foam letters, balls and soft toys.

Here is where the problem lies. Almost daily now we are finding both toys and household rubbish in our garden.

At first we were simply throwing things back over the fence, or placing them on the fence in the case of soft toys. However, a couple of weeks ago I was in the garden when one golf ball launched over the fence, narrowly missing me, and three more hit our French doors and landed on our terrace. I was shocked.

I promptly picked them all up, though perhaps not as promptly as I would like in my condition 😂, and popped my head over the fence.

The young girl was in just a nappy looking slightly sheepish while Dad obliviously (unsure how) scrolled on his phone, smoking something… dubious (which was also great considering I clearly had newborn washing on the line 🙄). I piped up and said “Hi. Sorry, are these yours?” to which the Dad looked up and said “oh yeah… cheers, I didn’t know she had those…”

I was taken aback at his lack of concern and said “well they’re just a little hard, aren’t they, and I wouldn’t want them damaging our property or hitting one of us, if you could please be careful?” with a little polite/awkward laugh for good measure.

He simply took them out of my hand with another “cheers” and walked off. No apology, no learning opportunity for DD, just “cheers” and off he went.

Still, I had hoped after my polite word this would stop.

Flash forward another few weeks and I feel that this behaviour has escalated, as has the amount of “stuff” stored in the garden.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that the little girl is just that - little. I know she doesn’t understand she’s doing anything wrong, and if she does understand to some extent it’s only because it feels like a game to her.

However, I am concerned that either my husband or I could get hit with something. They are aware that I’m heavily pregnant right now. Or, worse, our baby could be hit when she’s here, as we plan to spend some time in our garden with her over the coming months and years; looking at wildlife, doing some sensory play etc. As I say, not everything being thrown over is a soft toy or children’s ball unfortunately.

I believe that what is causing the issue is the unkempt nature of the garden. If their DD did not have access to household items/waste and/or toys which are never, ever tidied away (surely a hygiene concern for her too?), then she would not be enabled to throw things over.

We have really tried to be reasonable and rash, but it’s getting us a little wound up now. And before anyone says it, this will not be our child in a few years as we will not be leaving toys or play items out 24/7, for hygiene reasons and cleanliness. We would get her to pack them up with us and take them inside, and we certainly wouldn’t be leaving household waste out there.

I don’t know… AIBU to completely fed up by this now?

OP posts:
Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 17:51

YYYDlilah · 17/05/2025 17:38

idealise
You'll be the perfect parent. Your baby won't be handed a dummy or a device.
You'll BF, until PFB decides they want to try other food. PFB will be sleep trained to only wake up when you decide , potty trained, never tantrum, ...

Roll on a few months...

Huh? I have no idea what this fictitious soliloquy has to do with me not wanting to live next door to large/hard items of household waste which are then being flung into our garden almost daily. Surely it is not exactly the height of perfectionism to expect that waste is disposed of properly and reasonably promptly? I really don’t blame or resent the little girl at all.

OP posts:
servingkant · 17/05/2025 17:51

OneFineDay13 · 17/05/2025 16:05

@servingkant neither is your comment tbh lol

LOL? Are you a teenager? What exactly do you think a landlord will/can do about a tenant spending time in their garden, not minding their kids as much as they probably should and smoking? Absolutely nothing! It’s not a breach of contract to store old hoovers/boxes/prams or have toys ‘scattered all over the garden’ (which is tiny by the way! Why the OP had to mention that?!) If the OP wants their toddler to stop chucking rubbish and toys over, she needs to talk to them!

MN absolutely love a good hysterical ‘sneer at renters’ post! Someone’s even suggested to get in touch with social services!

PeapodMcgee · 17/05/2025 17:55

If my tenants were trashing the garden I'd definitely want to know, and would give them notice to leave. Plenty of others to choose from.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 17:58

servingkant · 17/05/2025 17:51

LOL? Are you a teenager? What exactly do you think a landlord will/can do about a tenant spending time in their garden, not minding their kids as much as they probably should and smoking? Absolutely nothing! It’s not a breach of contract to store old hoovers/boxes/prams or have toys ‘scattered all over the garden’ (which is tiny by the way! Why the OP had to mention that?!) If the OP wants their toddler to stop chucking rubbish and toys over, she needs to talk to them!

MN absolutely love a good hysterical ‘sneer at renters’ post! Someone’s even suggested to get in touch with social services!

which is tiny by the way! Why the OP had to mention that?!

Why do you seem so insistent on suggesting that I’m being classist in some way? If it wasn’t clear, we live in terraced housing - their garden is exactly the same size as ours!

Also, 1) we have spoken to them, 2) I would imagine it probably is a breach of contract to have waste building up in a garden (?) but good to get advice from other MNers here, and 3) I thought this was clear in my OP, but they were not smoking cigarettes. They were smoking an illegal substance.

I have included as much factual information as possible to provide the full picture and attempt to avoid drip feeding. I’m not “sneering at renters” at all.

OP posts:
NewsdeskJC · 17/05/2025 17:59

Gosh this takes me back to when I was pregnant with my first and next door neighbours had 3 feral kids aged 2 to 6 who constantly lobbed stuff into our garden. I gave up going out there in the end
DH picked it all up once a day and punctured any balls and lobbed it into the bin.
We moved the following year.

Blueberry911 · 17/05/2025 18:00

Oh come off it, everyone saying you're having a dig at renters 🙄

It is relevant, their landlord is responsible for their house. It's who you next get in touch with if you're having neighbour issues.

And OP, I have a 5 year old, we also don't leave toys outside for hygiene regions. You're not being ridiculous as some PPs are suggesting. "Give it 2 years". Toys left in the garden end up dirty and mouldy. All that gets left out here are toys built for the garden. Anyone who's leaving dolls in the garden is disgusting, imo. Take care of your children's things!

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:04

Blinky21 · 17/05/2025 17:39

Talk to them first if they ignore you, go to the landlord, their contract will say they need to maintain the garden and rubbish piling up is a safety and health hazard. We've had similar issues with our neighbours, who rent. I speak directly to the maintenance company when there's an issue and they always fix it. The neighbours don't seem to care either way and we get on with them well

Thank you! Glad to hear this hasn’t caused any long-term issues for your relationship as this has definitely been a worry of mine when considering speaking to them again.

OP posts:
spanishcheese · 17/05/2025 18:06

YYYDlilah · 17/05/2025 17:38

idealise
You'll be the perfect parent. Your baby won't be handed a dummy or a device.
You'll BF, until PFB decides they want to try other food. PFB will be sleep trained to only wake up when you decide , potty trained, never tantrum, ...

Roll on a few months...

Are you the grubby neighbour?

Member984815 · 17/05/2025 18:15

I'm a landlord if there was a lot of waste in the garden I'd want to know about it because of the risk of vermin, it'd be my problem to get rid of any pests . Now trampoline or other toys being in the garden is not a problem. Not sure the landlord could do anything about a child throwing things over the fence either besides have a word with the parents . I'd it was my garden I'd be keeping the items until the neighbours looked for them back .

PluckyBamboo · 17/05/2025 18:17

My neighbours 4 kids were similar, deliberately throwing stuff over and using that as an excuse to come into my garden and snoop around for their toys trampoling all over my garden and looking in my windows. They were pretty weirdo kids though, used to climb up the fence and just stare at me for ages, Dad used to keep them in check but once Mum/Dad separated Mum didn't give a shit about her annoying kids.

The only way to stop it in the end was collecting up all their crap at the end of each day and depositing them straight in my bin. A week or so of disappearing bald dolls heads (Toy Story style) bucked up their ideas.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:21

Member984815 · 17/05/2025 18:15

I'm a landlord if there was a lot of waste in the garden I'd want to know about it because of the risk of vermin, it'd be my problem to get rid of any pests . Now trampoline or other toys being in the garden is not a problem. Not sure the landlord could do anything about a child throwing things over the fence either besides have a word with the parents . I'd it was my garden I'd be keeping the items until the neighbours looked for them back .

Thanks, this is really helpful. Hmm… yeah, to be fair, I don’t believe it’s food waste or anything perishable. It looks more like the type of waste you’re left with after a clear out that just needs a tip run. However, it’s been there since they moved in, and just seems to keep building! The little tot is able to access it and so then over it all comes. If they simply cleared up, we wouldn’t really have an issue. Also, we’re worried about just binning things that fly over that aren’t clearly toys 1) in case they actually want it back and 2) because some of these items really can be quite large and would take up our own limited black bin space.

edit: editing to add, as I’m mulling away thoughtfully on this, even if we did start binning items that we personally deemed junk, I doubt it would stop the child from throwing stuff as they wouldn’t miss it! Only binning their toys would achieve that and I just really don’t have the heart. As long as the child has access to junk, I fear it’ll just keep coming over and I do worry about it hitting us or damaging something in our garden/on our house.

OP posts:
Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:22

PluckyBamboo · 17/05/2025 18:17

My neighbours 4 kids were similar, deliberately throwing stuff over and using that as an excuse to come into my garden and snoop around for their toys trampoling all over my garden and looking in my windows. They were pretty weirdo kids though, used to climb up the fence and just stare at me for ages, Dad used to keep them in check but once Mum/Dad separated Mum didn't give a shit about her annoying kids.

The only way to stop it in the end was collecting up all their crap at the end of each day and depositing them straight in my bin. A week or so of disappearing bald dolls heads (Toy Story style) bucked up their ideas.

Toy Story style

that has tickled me. 😂

OP posts:
Ihopeyouhavent · 17/05/2025 18:27

We had new neighbours about a year ago. I was in my living room and could see stuff landing in the garden from the corner of my eye.

Ignored it for a bit, but the it hit the patio door. Turns out the little boys 3 doors over were tossing BBQ bricks over the fence, they were just messing about , but i have 3 cats, that roam the patio on their harness's.

Queue me, shouting out the upstairs window, "Oi!! Who is throwing stuff in my garden?!! Please stop, you are going to hurt someone!" Boys ran for their lives after looking very sheepish.

You dont need a big confrontation, just shout out politely, if that doesnt work, high trellis.

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:31

Ihopeyouhavent · 17/05/2025 18:27

We had new neighbours about a year ago. I was in my living room and could see stuff landing in the garden from the corner of my eye.

Ignored it for a bit, but the it hit the patio door. Turns out the little boys 3 doors over were tossing BBQ bricks over the fence, they were just messing about , but i have 3 cats, that roam the patio on their harness's.

Queue me, shouting out the upstairs window, "Oi!! Who is throwing stuff in my garden?!! Please stop, you are going to hurt someone!" Boys ran for their lives after looking very sheepish.

You dont need a big confrontation, just shout out politely, if that doesnt work, high trellis.

Thanks. Very similar situation!! The little girl was indeed there when I asked her and her dad to be more careful, but I’m not sure if she fully understood to be quite honest. She is a little younger and was there in just her nappy bless her.

We need a new trellis for our roses anyway as it happens, so going to look into the height we’re allowed! I know our actual fence is almost as high as you can go, but I don’t know if there are more lenient rules for trellis. Off to Google I go!

OP posts:
Ihopeyouhavent · 17/05/2025 18:41

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:31

Thanks. Very similar situation!! The little girl was indeed there when I asked her and her dad to be more careful, but I’m not sure if she fully understood to be quite honest. She is a little younger and was there in just her nappy bless her.

We need a new trellis for our roses anyway as it happens, so going to look into the height we’re allowed! I know our actual fence is almost as high as you can go, but I don’t know if there are more lenient rules for trellis. Off to Google I go!

You sound like a really lovely neighbour, even if she's little you can just say "oh no, please dont" . But then, im thinking that parents need to teach the kiddies not to.

Its a nightmare for everyone these days with kids.

But they are lucky to have someone as nice as you.

BakelikeBertha · 17/05/2025 18:57

Agreed! - Sorry this was meant to have been attached to a quote, regarding the fact that we all judge people, regardless of our own background, and making it clear that keeping a load of old junk in your garden, which gives rats and other wild life, places to hide, should be called out as being unacceptable.

notatinydancer · 17/05/2025 19:00

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 14:16

Well 1) to clarify that they are new and weren’t here when we moved in, in case anyone suggests we should have been more mindful of this when we ourselves moved into the house, and 2) in case there is any advice specific to the fact that they are renters, I suppose. I’m sure I would be asked down the line.

Irrelevant

ButterCrackers · 17/05/2025 19:03

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 18:31

Thanks. Very similar situation!! The little girl was indeed there when I asked her and her dad to be more careful, but I’m not sure if she fully understood to be quite honest. She is a little younger and was there in just her nappy bless her.

We need a new trellis for our roses anyway as it happens, so going to look into the height we’re allowed! I know our actual fence is almost as high as you can go, but I don’t know if there are more lenient rules for trellis. Off to Google I go!

Trellis is easily broken. Sounds like your neighbours don’t care about your property.

SapphireSeptember · 17/05/2025 19:51

tigerlady14 · 17/05/2025 15:03

YANBU for being annoyed with things being thrown into your garden, especially golf balls and I totally understand your concern for yourselves and your baby (congrats btw!) BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all. unless you are concerned for the child’s welfare then all of this is not relevant at all and just makes it seem like you look down on these people. by all means tackle the issue of the throwing as that is not acceptable and there is some good advice on the thread on how to go about dealing with this, but your opinions on how they conduct their own personal business are unnecessary IMO. congrats again on becoming a mother and hope you can get this sorted so you can enjoy your garden with your LO <3

Yeah, I'm afraid I look down on people who smoke around kids, especially if they smoke weed. Funnily enough an OP got roasted on here a while ago for being baked while in charge of her child (his dad had him, but had to drop him home early, and she took pains to explain she didn't smoke it around her kid.)

I live in social housing, not everyone who rents treats their home with disdain. Although I remember being really angry when I walked past the flat I used to live in, to find the person who'd moved in had chucked the wardrobe and bedside table out onto the patio and they'd been ruined by the rain. They were brand new when I moved in and I was there for less than a year. Just made me very cross. 🥺

Balloonhearts · 17/05/2025 19:54

I keep a knife in my gardening box for stabbing any balls that come over from one neighbour. Boy of about 12. Told me to fuck off when I asked him to try and keep them contained in case they hit my baby who was just crawling around the grass. So now I puncture them in a few places and toss them back with a smile.

Strangely they've stopped coming over.

Toootss · 17/05/2025 20:15

BUT YABU for the way you speak about these people. the condition of their garden, perceived cleanliness or lack of it, the fact they are renters, and him smoking is none of your business at all.

She has to live next door to them of course it’s her business

TunnocksOrDeath · 17/05/2025 20:25

ClearFruit · 17/05/2025 14:23

You lost me at 'renters'. Completely irrelevant.

It is relevant in as far as landlords can obtain a court order to evict a persistently antisocial tenant, but homeowners can't be removed on that basis.

Boromirsgreyhound · 17/05/2025 22:10

I think it is relevant that you commented they are renting. Other people here seem to be insinuating that you’re being snobbish. It IS relevant as you can raise issues with the landlord/letting agents.

AlorsTimeForWine · 17/05/2025 22:16

Boromirsgreyhound · 17/05/2025 22:10

I think it is relevant that you commented they are renting. Other people here seem to be insinuating that you’re being snobbish. It IS relevant as you can raise issues with the landlord/letting agents.

Agreed.

It is relevant.
So is the fact they apparently want to live like animals and flytip in their own garden...

Itsybitsyteenycleany · 17/05/2025 22:20

Boromirsgreyhound · 17/05/2025 22:10

I think it is relevant that you commented they are renting. Other people here seem to be insinuating that you’re being snobbish. It IS relevant as you can raise issues with the landlord/letting agents.

Thanks! I’m honestly very baffled as to how people are so offended by me including a fact, particularly when I’ve not mentioned my own status at any point. I also had a PP suggest I’m snobbish for mentioning their garden was not particularly big (i.e. big enough to cope with all of the clutter), when clearly I live next door and so mine is obviously exactly the same size! Bizarre. Chips and shoulders spring to mind. I just didn’t want to drip feed in thread and I know people are usually asked the Q for the reasons you’ve stated there. I’ve stopped responding to these posters now because it’s just entirely unhelpful.

OP posts: