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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Our new Neighbours and my loud children

484 replies

Marley11 · 15/05/2025 17:53

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 15/05/2025 17:55

As long as you have the proper per mission from the council. And appropriate qualifications I don't think so.

TizerorFizz · 15/05/2025 17:59

Your neighbour probably is ok with dc. Just not noisy ones like yours. I agree with her. They sound ott. I would be getting cross too. And yes, I do have dc. You can do what job you want as pp says but I’d be selling up if I lived Nextdoor.

PeapodMcgee · 15/05/2025 18:00

Meltdowns aside of course, I do think it is irresponsible parenting / childminding to have children actually screaming in the garden all day long.

MysteriousFalafel · 15/05/2025 18:01

If the house is a big project it’s well worth putting additional insulation and sound blocking plasterboard on any adjoining walls as you do rooms up. We did this at ours and it really helped with neighbour noise

WomenInSTEM · 15/05/2025 18:02

Nice of you to shoehorn in the fact that she doesn't have children.

FFS.

EdisinBurgh · 15/05/2025 18:03

You have to find a way to teach / make your children be quieter OP

For their sake, and everyone else’s. And make an effort to get on with your neighbour. You catch more flies with honey.

GabriellaMontez · 15/05/2025 18:03

screaming

Yabu.

Dramatic · 15/05/2025 18:04

She is being very unreasonable, unless you live in the country with no neighbours you can't expect perfect silence. Kids playing makes noise and so it should. Unless they are literally screaming for hours then she doesn't have any right to start blaring music at daft o clock in the morning.

SodOffbacktoaibu · 15/05/2025 18:06

My new neighbours all shout. Their kids are noisy. Their dogs are noisy. They are noisy. I feel for you neighbour. Try and teach your kids consideration for neighbours. There's reasonable noise and of course kids get excited and make some noise....but the thought of loud people child minding next door. Oh dear.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 15/05/2025 18:06

You can't get your own children to speak at a normal volume, how are you qualified to be a childminder?

Annascaul · 15/05/2025 18:06

The fact that she doesn’t have children and isn’t keen on them is irrelevant, op.
Yours sound like a major pain in the arse. Teach them not to be so bloody loud.

Seeyousoonboo · 15/05/2025 18:07

I would absolutely hate to live next door to you!

latetothefisting · 15/05/2025 18:09

she can't stop you from working as a childminder
you can't stop her from blasting heavy metal or music with hardcore swearing through the wall when you're trying to get the kids to nap...
or standing in the doorway talking loudly to a friend about how she's seen you hit your kids in front of prospective parents

I'm obviously not suggesting you do do this, just giving an example of something she could do if she wanted to make your life hard. Basically do you want the aggro or can you sort something out now before it gets too conflicted?

Mydoglovescheese · 15/05/2025 18:10

Be prepared for complaints to Ofsted by the neighbour. This happened to a friend and although the complaints were trivial and never upheld it was frustrating and stressful.

delightfuldweeb · 15/05/2025 18:11

WomenInSTEM · 15/05/2025 18:02

Nice of you to shoehorn in the fact that she doesn't have children.

FFS.

im not reading this as a dig at a childless woman.
I think it’s relevant as she’s probably not used to how noisy children are so the OPs children are a bit of a shock.

Annascaul · 15/05/2025 18:12

delightfuldweeb · 15/05/2025 18:11

im not reading this as a dig at a childless woman.
I think it’s relevant as she’s probably not used to how noisy children are so the OPs children are a bit of a shock.

Show quote history

Op’s kids sound rowdier than most.
Screaming in the garden all day is not on.

Sparklebelle1024 · 15/05/2025 18:13

I’m not saying you are but we live on a lovely street and have one set of ahole neighbours who allow their young kids to SCREAM out in the garden all summer long, every year without fail, normal children playing noise is absolutely fine but these kids are feral and all they do is scream and screech all day long and the parents don’t even attempt to stop them from doing it. It’s miserable during the summer. My Asd ds really struggles and it does send HIM into meltdowns which I have to then calm him down and that’s not fair. They aren’t the “approachable” type either, think domestic violence, police, alcohol and the parents screaming at each other too!! I feel sorry for these kids but I really wish their parents would PARENT them and I know I’m not the only household in the street who feels this way from talking to my other neighbours who are all lovely!!

Zanatdy · 15/05/2025 18:14

One thing my kids couldn’t do was make excessive continuous noise in the garden. I brought them in if they got over excited, as it is annoying for neighbours. That said, she cannot do anything about your childcare business.

Itisjustmyopinion · 15/05/2025 18:16

Ah the old kids being kids excuse

You lost me at the dig about her not having children. It’s knowing how to be considerate neighbours regardless of your personal family situation

ForRealThisTime · 15/05/2025 18:17

You need to teach your kids appropriate behaviour. This sounds excessive.

And whilst you can be a childminder, she can also have her radio on. So you might want to put in a bit of effort so this doesn’t escalate.

ClaySquish · 15/05/2025 18:18

Neighbour is childish one here for blaring her radio in the early hours to "punish" you. Pathetic. You have young children, one with additional needs. She doesn't live on a private island. No one is intentionally aggravating her.

Daffodilsarefading · 15/05/2025 18:19

It’s a good job you don’t line next door to us. My dh is a complete music enthusiast and has a very loud stereo which would blown your mind.
He doesn’t play it loud, but would do if you behaved like your dcs do.
You need to teach your children to use quieter voices.
I can’t abide adults who think it’s fine to shout and scream in public. You are teaching your DCs to because such adults.
Bare in mind if you annoy your neighbour, she will do it back to you, and do it whilst you have other children there.

Vaxtable · 15/05/2025 18:21

Stop your kids making a noise. I accept one may have meltdowns occasionally but it’s your job to have in place mechanisms to stop them. As to the other child, just stop the noise

i dont blame her for putting the radio on as that seems the only way to get across to you how awful it is to live next to someone whose noisy

as to the childminding, if you can’t keep your own kids under control why are you being a childminder!

nobodywantsit · 15/05/2025 18:21

@Marley11you need to really and honestly reflect on how noisy and disruptive your children are and how much you try to manage this.

What do other people think? If you ask you need to be wanting and prepared for honest answers.

If you conclude she probably has a point then you need to apologise and try and manage it better and bring them inside if they’re making a racket in the garden for ages.

I had a neighbour a few doors down who had 3 primary aged kids. They would be out on the trampoline at 7.30am screeching and the dog barking at them.

It drove me insane and they weren’t next door.

As for the child minding, I don’t know if she could object but really think about whether you want that battle too. What’s the parking and access like? Are you going to have parents pissing off the neighbours?

Allthegoodhorses · 15/05/2025 18:21

All jokes aside I nearly had a nervous breakdown living next door to a very loud family with two loud children and parents doing performative parenting. For context this was in a tiny village with detached houses and I had an acre garden. I could hear them night and day even with noise cancelling headphones and triple glazing. So I empathise with your neighbour.