Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

What a sexist and ageist post.

The neighbour doesn't need to "get over" anything. OP's children clearly are exceeding normal playtime noise and into antisocial territory.

If OP thinks it's OK to make antisocial noise, then so can everyone else. In the neighbour's position I'd be playing death metal and loud rap with a speaker butted up to the party wall. Let them see what it's like.

In her shoes I'd also be videoing and recording anything untoward and have Ofsted on speed dial.

"Family home" doesn't = "kids needn't be trained or disciplined to be considerate of others." Does the six-year-old shriek at school or does he respect his teacher?

If kids need to burn off energy in a loud manner, let them be walked to the park.

@Theextraordinaryisintheordinary yes I agree. She has fallen out with a few people on the road about it things so I knew it could happen.

the relevance was I will work in the summer house so not in my actual home as much as possible . And I chose childminding due to the size of the garden the kids could play and run around a lot so won’t be in the home lots.

You now say ' screaming' in the garden, if they scream bring them in.
Not all toddlers have tantrums, I may be looking back through rose tinted glasses but i am pretty sure mine did not.

Your poor neighbour. Living next door to loud, screaming children is awful. You’re going to really p* her off with the childminding. Couldn’t you get a house with no near neighbours?

I want them to be free happy loud ( not screaming ) in the garden

You can’t just let children be free and loud in a garden where you have neighbours. There has to be consideration for others.

@TheHerboriste we bought this house as the garden is big enough they don’t need to go to the park to run off steam. They are lucky enough to be able to do that in their garden

children should be seen and not heard is a long dated parenting way now.

I do respect her peace and I was respectful to her complaint and I am working harder to keep the noise down

bur no it is not antisocial noise

it is just normal noise of excited boys

"Free happy loud."

What utter bullshit. Kids can play and be happy without being loud.

Also the only person making unreasonable noise in this situation is your neighbour, who blasted music at 4.30am in response to what sounds like fairly normal noise from children within reasonable hours.

I actually think you need to teach you children to not scream.But playing a radio at 4:30am loudly to teach you a lesson is out of order and can be reported to environmental health.I’d start keeping a diary of this if neighbour persists doing this as it’s antisocial hours
and crack on with the childminding

Some of these comments are utterly ridiculous! Do people really expect you to banish your kids from playing outside due to a batshit neighbour? 😂
My eldest (3) is loud and always has been since a baby. Used to throw almighty tantrums. Meanwhile my youngest is very placid and quiet. Both parented the exact same. Don’t let some of these ignorant comments make you feel bad.

Good luck with your childminding venture!

Where do you live? Asking for a friend.

Children shouldn’t be screaming in the garden, laughing, chatting but not screaming. As for a child minding business, you need to soundproof as it’s completely unfair to make a house unliveable next door

I have children (who aren't allowed to shout in the garden as I respect the neighbours' right to enjoy their gardens) and I would hate to live next to you.

Also our childminder never has shouting children in her garden. One of the reasons I chose our childminder is how polite and respectful her own children were.

@LadyJaneEarlGreyTea jsut to put it into a little perspective on the noise

I asked the neighbour at the other side and she said

we move hating your kids play it’s so nice and reminds us of our children when they were young

I said I am so sorry if they get too loud and she said oh my grand kids would give them a run for their money

I understand respect for the neighbours if they were outside all day being loud

it is for an hour or so after school and at the weekend

which is why we bought the home

What does "we move hating your kids play" mean?

She was a b*h to do that at 4.30am in the morning! Why does no one on Mumsnet try to approach their neighbours calmly before exploding and going OTT with their response to any aggravations!

That childish approach will really help the situation I’m sure. 🙄

Did you miss the part that one of her dc has asd and add? I presume it’s easier said than don’t to demand a child with sen to be quiet.

If she keeps it up, would count her radio blaring at 4.30am as harassment. Keep a diary, and if it keeps on or escalates, then seek advice from 101, or local council.

Tbh she doesn’t sound very happy or well if this is a pattern of behaviour.

She sounds crazy! Honestly jumping to waking kids up at 4.30am without actually talking to you is mad!

I have had neighbours who mow the lawn at 6am before work, a furloughed neighbour who spent lockdown using power tools in the back garden while blasting music, kids on quad bikes, students partying until 6am - happy shrieks from kids is not a big deal. When I have been annoyed by noise I have always talked to people first - trying to wake a family at 4.30am is not going to reduce toddler meltdowns! Also worth noting that noise is generally acceptable between 8am and 8pm unless it is noise that goes above a certain decibel which human voices alone do not! You would be justified in making noise complaints if she blasts music at 4.30am. I do wonder if all the people here saying 3 meltdowns a day is abnormal actually remember toddler years ago- my child has meltdowns over ridiculous things. Dropping her to nursery this morning I saw several toddlers having meltdowns over silly things - they are only learning to self regulate at that age.

She may need to invest in some loop sensory earbuds if two kids playing in a large garden upset her that much.

In terms of child minding I think you would need permission from the council to operate a business like that in a residential area due to noise and parking issues. Check with your local council.

@MarioLink ok thank you for your response il work on my parenting and children

I too ask them be quiet as often as I think needed and they are both respectful kind lovely boys . They just get excited at times and can be loud

but again not all day! And of course as a childminder we would practice playing without screaming

I work with children and I do actually find other children quieter than my child and I do think his adhd has ALOT to do with that

Our neighbour when my sisters and I were young teens blamed us for every single noise known to man. Radio, tv, banging, arguing - we did all that and she would complain and mum believed her and we’d get smacked for being disrespectful. Until we were at my nans and mum was home alone and neighbour complained about the dreadful noise. After being told it was impossible as were were miles away she never complained again. Mum never apologised to us either

Obviously it's a typo and move is meant to be love.

Also, she is clearly batshit. Because if she hates your kids being noisy WHY would she wake them 2 hours before they usually wake up! They’re sleeping peacefully and she decides to add 2 more hours of noise to her day 🤣 unless she was going out that is!

This is bonkers