Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

You can read what you like into what I wrote and think what you like as well. But I can't imagine constantly criticising another person's opinion is being of any help to anyone, maybe it's giving you some sense of superiority, I don't know, but it is not funny or clever, you really are being unreasonable!!

I’m not reading what I like. I’m reading the comments YOU made. And now I’ve called you out on it you’re back tracking.

You said “ For what it's worth, I don't think you are being in the least unreasonable, your neighbour is being ridiculous, if she can't tolerate the kind of noise that living with close neighbours entails she needs to go and live somewhere else.
I can't understand why so many people commenting here seem to think your family is the problem” I’m not being unreasonable to hold you accountable for your own comments. Own your comments babes. At least stick by what you say.

It's like playing chess with a pigeon

Please just give up, this is going nowhere.
You are either exceedingly dim or you are being deliberately obtuse, I really can't be bothered wasting my time with your nonsense any more!

Babes you’re the one replying to my comments 😂 but yes, back down from your comments like the feeble person you are 🤗

You need to work on being more considerate neighbours.
Teach your kids to remember that they share walls with other people who are asleep when it's dark etc.
Expect respectful low noise from your children in care too.
Happy children at play who sometimes tantrum is fine. Loud screeching, thumping and crying children from morning to dusk is not fair.

Don't tell the neighbour unless the council requires you to do so. Meet all legal requirements and rules.

After 8am kid noise is normal?! In the school week maybe, at the weekends children shouldn't be out in the garden until much later in thr morning, let alone noisy children.

You certainly can stop her blasting music at 4.30am. It anti social loud music b4 7am and warrent call to police and council.

Children make noise, where does it say she let them scream all day in garden. If neighbour has never aproached them b4.

People on here are absolutely ridiculous! Kids play they shout they run they scream when excited they scream when there brother/ sister takes there favourite toy even tho they wasn't even playing with it!. Tell the neighbour if she continues to try and play loud music at 4.30 which BTW is illegal because its not even in social hours your be reporting her. Set ya business up enjoy your life get that money for retirement and bring them kiddos up with love and freedom to express there self's don't dim there light because of some grumpy neighbour how ridiculous you lot

What a terrible parent and a neighbour you are. Kids being kids but there are basic social things that kids need to learn from their carers and I've seen miracles happen when an actual effort to teach is being put.
Why is it disturbing to listen to music at any time of the day, and putting up with annoying kids sounds isn't, as a childless human or not we all have tolerance limits.

Just a human being human.

OP set up your business you have all the right, but if you're already struggling to keep 2 within the sociable limit, your home will sound like exorcism venue. The only thing a neighbour can do is drown the sounds with their own music. None of you will have fun imo and I feel sorry for your neighbour, not you.

Half the comments suggest that not once apon a time you were all once children and did exactly the same!. Your neighbor is the irresponsible one blaring music at that time of the morning!, I've 4 children but my 2 year old and 6 year old are the noisiest when in the garden, my neighbors aren't bothered they say "children will be children it won't last". You can't make a child be quite or "play quite" yes ask them to tone it down if needs be, what a ludicrous suggestion!. What sort of world are we living in were a bunch of Karen's can't let children be children and enjoy their childhood without being told to be quite, it's their garden, their home they can do as they please. If it was your children banging around at daft times of the night ECT I get it teach the kids to be more respectful but this is their garden. Naff the Karen's and this snowflake world it won't belong before they are grown up!.

Crikey! People are being unkind to you OP. I do wonder if many people on Mumsnet are actually mums who have had actual children.

So, in my opinion arsey neighbours will be arsey whatever you do. Once they get a bee in their bonnet it ain't going anywhere. I would predict your neighbour will be difficult from now on and wouldn't waste your time warning her about the childminding business. I've tried talking and being reasonable with a selfish neighbour for years and I wish I'd just gone through official channels as it's like talking to a brick wall. She threatened us with harassment when we asked her to turn her music down for the second time so our kids could sleep.

We have two kids, one with ASD and one with ASD and unless you've been there you do not know how it is impossible to stop them making loud noise during meltdowns. The rest of the time when they're emotionally regulated, yes, you can and should try, but during a meltdown you just have to let it run it's course. My neighbour sticks loud music on, thus prolonging the meltdowns, and tells everyone she can that there's something severely wrong with our kids.

Here's the thing though, she had three kids who can be in the garden screaming loudly from 8am to 9pm and two dogs who jump up at the fence and bark whenever we enter the garden and try to enjoy our patio. They often stick a stereo on full blast too so all adjoining gardens can suffer their terrible music taste. She is completely oblivious to the fact her and her family's behaviour impacts others but god forbid anyone makes a noise of any kind in their garden that disturbs her.

Neighbours who throw terrible moves like your neighbour playing music at 4.30am are just terrible people through and through. I'd minimise contact and go through official channels to both set up your business and lodge any complaints against any unreasonable behaviour she does.

Wow the comments are brutal you are not being an ahole unless you're children are truly screaming all day. We had a neighbour who constantly complained about our dogs that they were barking all day long so when I went on maternity leave I was banished to the house as within 5 minutes of me leaving the house she would phone my husband complaining about the dogs barking when I went back to work she still complained (bearing in mind she never complained before i went on maternity leave) so we brought a camera to see just how much they were barking turned out they were only barking at the door so around 2 or 3 times a day for about 2 minutes which yes annoying but not unbearable they knew there were dogs in the house before the moved in well she came round one day complaining my husband said oh really qell we've been watching them on the camera (her face dropped) oh yes we got a doggy camera so we could keep an eye on the problem and see what was triggering them to bark she walked away before he could explain they had only barked twice that day once at the postie and once at the amazon driver fast forward and the got a dog themselves same breed as ours jrt well it was unmanageable it barked the whole time it was walked by their children not them and bit other dogs and lunged they moved away eventually but not after complaining about where we placed our bird table because the birds would poop on their side of our fence if they could complain they did even though we stayed quite when their digger broke one of our fence panels only mentioning it when it came to their survey being completed 😉 of course be considerate being a childminder will increase noise levels but 4.30am is not an acceptable time to be making that level of noise speak to your council about amicable solutions with nuisance neighbours good luck x

OP I'm sorry but I think lots of people are taking what you say and twisting it a little. All children play and I'm sure no child is going to be in the garden quietly. Yes some children do use inside voices but others don't. My children are loud because of asd/adhd but I do tell them to bite down, like you they only really go outside on a school evening for an hour or so. Mist weekends I am out but ofcause children like to screech and shout if on a trampoline or swing.

I think your neighbour is out of order! Music at 4.30am. She did that just to be unkind! She is acting like a child herself!

Regarding the child minding I wouldn't tell her! If she as a problem and reports you, let her! You will be fine, she clearly just wants a quite life, unfortunately she won't unless she buys a field.

Good luck, let your children be children, sod her!

Thank god I don't live anywhere near you! What a rude and entitled person you are

I live in a "family " area, pretty much all the houses in this neighbourhood have children, and most have trampolines, football goals and paddling pools in the summer - the gardens are not that big that you can't see them, and kids spend a lot of time outside. Teens are more out and about, it's far from a quiet area.

No, kids are not running feral, the parents don't let them scream and shriek and shout? On which planet do you live? They are not silent, they are kids, but all their parents manage to keep them reasonably quiet.

You don't need to scream the neighbourhood down to "enjoy your childhood" 😂. That's the excuse of lazy parents too busy to watch tv to look after their children. Shame on you for your entitled and selfish attitude.

Teach your kids to respect others. Bring them indoors every time they scream and shout excessively. They're not just "being kids". There's literally no reason for screaming and being ridiculously loud! Noisy inconsiderate kids become the same as adults.

Champion because believe me I'd not like to live next to someone who doesn't get children!.

My children are very respectful if you think my comment comes across "entitled" and "disrespectful" but I'm not going to take my children indoors for having fun, I get it if they are being rude, disrespectful and using vulgar language but for having fun absolutely not.

I hope i never become your neighbour then.

Screaming and shouting is inconsiderate. The universe doesn't revolve around children. The sooner kids are taught that, the better.

I imagine I would find it fun to sit in my garden blaring music and smoking at midnight but I wouldn't do that because it's just dawn inconsiderate. Same logic for kids.

It is possible to have fun without screaming excessively, believe it or not.

Being too loud literally IS being rude and disrespectful.

It's your job to teach them basic manners.

I do feel for you, and your neighbour sounds difficult.
That aside personally I don’t think a childminding business should be set up in a residential area as it does become a real pain for the other residents speaking from personal experience.
We had parents in and out of our road mornings and evenings dropping and collecting and every day if there I would have to tell them not to park over my driveway. They just said we will only be a minute or would say thought this would happen but what I had to say is if you park in front of my house and go to get your child I don’t know who you are and where you have gone. Sometimes I would drive down from work and couldn’t get on my driveway but the car was empty because they were in the child-minders house. It was a real pain.
Something to think about. Also what they didn’t understand was they weren’t the only parent and it was every weekday am and pm.

You sound a very nice person but I’m not sure you’ve bought the right house especially if you wanted to set up a business.
I Think maybe you should have bought a house not attached to another house and more space around. On Hindsight….

🙄

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

How many children will you be allowed to have?