Our new Neighbours and my loud children

[Marley11]

Hi
I wasn’t sure where to start this thread as it covers two areas but il try here first.

We have recently moved into our dream family home ‘ which is a huge project. We chose it due to the size of the garden for our children , and the large summer house at the bottom.

We have two young boys. Who are lovely, kind boys, but v loud characters. ( 2 & 6 ) one has asd & add. The other just has the loudest & deepest voice 😂. trust me I try to tell them to speak quieter I think it’s impossible . ( They are both in bed by 7 ish pm and both asleep till 7 )

They are just being kids in my opinion . And obviously the odd 3 daily meltdowns from my two year old as I buttered his toast wrong.

But Today she put her radio on at 4.30 am. Blaring through our 2 years old wall. woke us all. The reason in her words “ Was to show me how thin those walls are, As my kids scream and shout in the garden so much making us terrible neighbors “

she has never had children and isn’t keen on them .

my issue is , little does she know I am in the process of setting up as a childminder. But I am now doubting if this is the right choice ….. because of our neighbour !

my question is , would you pre - warn her ? Is there anything she could do to deter me / stop me in setting this business up ? Or would you just set up and not mention it or is this unreasonable to do ? Do I Have to tell her ?

Thank you

@RandomWordsThrownTogether thank you

yes I’m not offended by the comments regarding my two year old and I should teach him more as 3 melt downs a day is quite good for a two year old 😂

thanks for your response

yes I will check with the council

i want to be able to set up my business and get along with my neighbour and respect her peace but also for her to understand we bought our home for the freedom to do these things .

You sound like an entitled PITA whose raising boys who think they can do what they like. Have some manners in the outside space.

@beadystar noted

Yes, I thought the same.

There’s quite a few issues that you have here.

First, absolutely no need to even mention she doesn’t have children. Or doesn’t like them. How do you know she doesn’t like children? You don’t know her choices for not having them, could be due to fertility. You have no idea and is not relevant.

Your children are small and will make noise understandably. We don’t get to live in a Childfree works however you to parent your children. If the kids are screaming constantly to which it is effecting your neighbour you need to sort out the problem.

I would suggest getting soundproofing on the walls, so noise will be reduced on both sides, especially as there will be extra noise when you start childminding. You don’t have to tell her but I would probably give her a heads up with you having issues due to the noise. Good neighbours are like good dust. You’re in your dream home so I would take steps to try and reduce the noise as I can imagine things could get very unpleasant if she’s having to listen to screaming kids through thin walls everyday.

Yes …. We have reported to the relevant authorities a few times. They are well known to Social work

You would be videoing the kids playing (that’s illegal) and they should be trained they are kids not dogs.

Children aren’t noisy. Children with parents who think it’s ok and do nothing about it, are noisy. There are children all over my neighbourhood. Very few of them are screaming in their gardens. I have a child who isn’t noisy, my neighbour has a 1 year old who isn’t noisy. The dogs round here are way noisier than the children.

We moved to a retirement park thing to get away from the child that*s spent the last 2 summers screaming all day on a trampoline and her dad that sits getting pissed and playing very loud music every weekend.
There were other reasons but they confirmed we were doing the right thing sp yadbu.

This. Absolutely not relevant at all. God forbid a woman chooses not to have a child. And also pretty nasty if the reasons due to infertility, which op would not know.

How creepy. Do you often take videos of children you don’t know?

@MrsDoylesLastTeabag sorry the other neighbour said she loved hearing our children playing . So it’s just two different perspectives on each side to me.

just to give some perspective to some on here

You're not seriously suggesting she should be videoing into OPs garden to film children that she thinks are being too loud? Do you actually think that would be reasonable behaviour?

OP I don't think your kids sound out of the ordinary and I think a lot on here sound miserable and unreasonable.
Kids make noise. Tough shit.

It isn’t illegal. And children do need to be trained, although we tend to call it teaching.

@Youstolemygoddamnhouse she told me when I moved in on the first day she didn’t like children as they annoy her dogs with noise

first day . So yes I do know this .

My 3 year old has a meltdown today because she asked me to peel her banana and I did. Tantrums are normal and developmentally appropriate so I would ignore every unhelpful and inaccurate comment berating you or telling you their child had none.

Also I know someone who opened their own childcare business from their semi detached house in an inner city location and their business is thriving and been judged as outstanding by Ofsted.

Hardly ‘shoehorning’, entirely pertinent to the fact she doesn’t get what children are like…

Although they don’t sound like the best neighbours, part of that problem was you not enjoying living in an environment where kids play outside. OP’s children are perfectly valid to play outside and part of that means they will make noise. Op clearly stated she tries to curtail screaming etc.

By your token, the OP’s neighbour should also move somewhere with older people. Although that isn’t fail safe - she might move next to someone hard of hearing who blasts their TV loud, or someone who has a lot of visitors. As humans we all have to live around other people unless we are very rich. So better to just deal with our own issues eh?

Excitable children screaming for long periods of time is very annoying.

Playing music at 4.30am through a toddlers wall is pathetic.

My house backs onto a very large house and a very large family live in it. From 7am - 7pm I listen to their children playing. That’s fine. It’s their garden. But the constant footballs banging, recorders, singing, screaming, screeching does take its toll, when some mornings, I’d like to sleep past 7am.

Agree with this. If you can, go for belt & braces soundproofing. It'll make both your lives more tolerable (she won't hear your children, you won't get your ear bent).

OP - some children are louder than others. ASD etc also make a huge huge difference. Parents who think they have ‘good parented’ their way to quieter more cooperative kids are bloody idiots.

I’m sure you’re trying your very best with your boys and your neighbour sounds bloody batshit crazy.

I’d put in soundproofing to every wall (makes a huge difference) and only let you kids out at set times (told to neighbour in advance). Apologise continuously, profusely. Bring kids in when it gets too loud.

We moved to a country farmhouse.. Small cottage at the side... She reported us for noise...
And ddog poo.
And all sorts of utter crap.
She admitted when I called round she was resentful because she was unable to have dc. Awfully coincidence that she had had the same number of mc 's as we had dc.. She actually got us evicted...

You're not seriously suggesting she should be videoing into OPs garden to film children that she thinks are being too loud? Do you actually think that would be reasonable behaviour?
If she wants to lodge a noise complaint that’s exactly what she will be told to do. Get evidence of the nuisance.

OP I don't think your kids sound out of the ordinary and I think a lot on here sound miserable and unreasonable.

You haven’t met them, you don’t know. What matters is, the neighbour thinks it’s unreasonable.

Well the neighbour has every right to do what she wants. She has the right to blast music depending on what the times are in loud music restrictions, as it’s her house. She has the right to play loud music early morning till late at night if she wants. Is it right? No. Is it illegal? No. But well within her rights. She’s obviously fed up with screaming.

Teaching kids to behave and not scream/shriek is not clipping their wings - it’s teaching good behaviour.

i had neighbours whose kids would scream all the time when playing outside - irritated the shit out of me

id hate to live next door to you