I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

Suggest either a 5ft fence or fast growing plants against the shared border

You need higher fences or hedges. I can’t see my neighbours from our garden.

Do you have low fences or something? I wouldn't have a clue what my neighbours were doing in their garden, unless they had a chainsaw/mower/pressure washer on the go!

Put a hedge or a fence up ? put some music on low when you are out in the garden and you want to chat?- They obvioulsy love the outdoors and I doubt they would think the same if you decided to sit outside all day either !

You can’t be serious. How would you ‘rock the boat’? Ask them not to use their garden whenever they want?

I honestly don't understand why this is the problem. Are you sure you moved away from nightmare neighbours? Or are your old neighbour grateful their nightmares moved away?

You cannot, categorically tell your neighbours that they cannot peacefully use their own garden.

Are you mad?

Is this a joke?

What do you think gardens are for?

Why should your insecurities cause them to use their garden less? You can’t ask them to not use their own garden.

Of course you can't do anything other than put up higher fences or plants. They are not being noisy or invasive, just using their space.

So you would like a kind of unspoken rota system where you each use your garden only when the other is indoors?

This is just life in the 'burbs. If you want to be out of earshot of neighbours everywhere on your property then you'll need to buy a rural pile with land 🤷

This is honestly such a weird post!

oh no my neighbours are using their garden for completely normal things at the same time as we are!

God help you if you think that's bad!

How is it the same situation as you were in before? If you’re not able to tolerate living next door to people doing normal activities, you need to move to a properly rural area.

Yes, you’re being very unreasonable. Imagine they were saying you couldn’t use yours in the way you want to. Bonkers!

As others have said, grow hedges or get higher fences if needed.

You are annoyed that your neighbours are doing in their garden exactly what you want to do in yours.

Wow! You just have to lighten up I'm afraid. They are peacefully using their garden in the exact way you want to use yours. If you wanted no neighbours you need to have bought a different house.
Music on low is a good idea to detract from feeling they hear you chat. But not at a volume that would annoy. Or just accept you can be overheard and be mindful about what you discuss.

DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

What exactly did your last set of 'nightmare' neighbours DO to upset you, @Newhomeandgarden ?

Because you're comparing the current duo to the old but most people do not consider 'legitimate use of own outside space by inoffensive householders' to be a problem, far less a 'nightmare'.

This is actually insane. They are entitled to be in their garden 24/7 if they wish. They’re not doing antisocial, you just… don’t want them there?

There is no sort of unreasonable. You are being completely unreasonable

Invest in some appropriate fencing and plants if what you have right now is not sufficient for your privacy needs. There is no boat to rock, as you would be utterly unreasonable to tell them in any way, shape or form that they should use their garden less.

You are being really unreasonable. It’s their garden, they aren’t doing anything antisocial and it doesn’t stop you using your garden. You need to move somewhere with no neighbors if you’re bothered about this.

For her to use but nobody else 😂

You definitely can’t rock the boat by saying anything at all. They’d think you were nutters and totally unreasonable. And they’d be right!

Do you have low or see through fences?

I think maybe OP was/is the nightmare neighbour, rather than her ex neighbour