I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

If you don’t like it, stop using your garden until you’ve got higher fences or whatever.

It’s a you problem and you’ve no right to ask people to stop quiet enjoyment of their garden.

Tall fence, some plants and a powerful water feature to muffle your secret conversations, like the spies do 😁

And please don’t play music. That’s far note sitting than just hearing muted conversation. I doubt they can even hear you and even if they can they’ll not be consciously listening. They are too busy doing their own thing.

Get some good hedging going - evergreen and dense / or even double layer of something tall and then something shorter - it will look lovely , provide privacy, help the wildlife

Probably had BBQs

Pretty sure your becoming the nightmare neighbours OP

If you have low fences then put up some bigger ones. Other than that, you’ll just have to live with it, or move. I’m in a row of terraced houses where you can hear every single thing when people are in their gardens. Fences don’t help. We are hopefully moving this year 🤣

You have quiet neighbours who want to be put at the same time as you do.

You say you don't want to rock the boat...what were you going to do, start a rota of when the can use their back garden (that they had been using happily before you moved in 🤭)

This is one of the most bonkers things I've ever read.

You need 6ft fences and then plant shrubs in your border. Your neighbours are just utilizing their garden which is perfectly normal.

I'm genuinely confoozled. My next door neighbours are GLUED to the sun chairs in their back garden. In sunny weather, they're out there, morning, noon and night.

We don't have high fences, I can see them all the time should I choose to do so.

They don't play loud music or do anything offensive either. They're just ... there, reading, chatting, puffing on a cigarette, drinking vino, topping up their tans.

Have I been Mumsnetting wrong all this time? Should I have started an angst-ridden thread about this years ago? 😳

Very weird. You want to use your garden do you dont want them to use their garden?

Blimey! You should read all the other annoying neighbours threads on here to realise how lucky you are!
It’s absolutely fine that they use their garden. It’s absolutely fine if you are out there at the same time. 100% DO NOT ask them to use their garden less.
The only thing you could do is put up a high fence/bushes.

Would rather have a neighbour that just sits and reads a book over a neighbour who constantly plays loud music. You know you’re being unreasonable. They aren’t doing other than enjoying their garden, which you are also doing. If it’s a problem with a low fence then I suggest you get a higher fence?

You sound completely bonkers 😳 do you really think it's not ok for your neighbours to use their garden?

If they're not bothering you, it should be fine.

The one time I had problems was when I was taking care of my parents' garden. Dad had died by then.

Previously, the neighbours had put up a fence to replace the one that dad had built...but grabbed a foot of Dad's garden in the process. He was an octogenarian at the time, but knocked on their door and told the husband to get it shifted. "You've put it right up against my hut. It's now impossible for me to paint it."

"I'll paint it for you."

"No you won't. Move the fence."

The fence was moved, but the neighbours were obviously resentful. I'd be out watering Dad's roses and would hear the wife saying "What's she daein oot there? She'd better no be touching that fence!"

To complicate matters, the husband was the jannie at the school where I worked as a Faculty Head. It was very clear that he didn't like women in authority...

Anyway, I'll not merail any further, but as long as you're not dealing with a similar situation OP, I don't see the problem.

I am only posting for the updates . I need a bonkers thread to cheer my day up

Doesn't sound like living next to a public park, sounds like two adults quietly using their garden. Don't understand the reference to them "lurking" either. Do you think you might have some unresolved issues which cause you to feel persecuted or spied upon by (what sounds even on your version of events to be) totally normal behaviour?

I think the sooner you realise this is your problem alone, and nothing to do with their actions, the sooner you can start to address it. Hope you get to a place where you can enjoy your nice garden soon, particularly in this beautiful weather.

Move …. to a detached remote property
YABVVVU

I don’t understand this either, why should they be restricted from what they do in their own garden just because you moved in!?!

Surely you were aware that the fence or boundary was low before you moved in to the property?
make the boundaries higher crack on in your own garden and leave them be!

You could build a gazebo with a themed bar and music playing plus a hot tub for some extra vibrations . This should drown out the noise of their offensive behaviour.

Or follow the perfectly given advice above.

What? What on earth is wrong with them sitting in their own garden?

Get a trampoline and jump up to check them out properly. Use a loudhailer to tell them to go back indoors as they are upsetting you by quietly enjoying their garden. Take no prisoners OP!

You sound like you have a real problem with anxiety and you are the one lurking around watching what they are doing.

Definitely a YOU problem.

If you don't want neighbours, you should have moved to an isolated property in the countryside.

I've got a screamer, a hot tub, three dogs and a persistent jetwasher neighbour. I'd pay for my neighbours to work peacefully on laptops on their gardens.