I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

Sounds like a you problem

Out newish neighbours practically live in their garden. I don’t really care and use my garden whenever I like

Blimey.
I've been home a couple of hours in that time I have:
Got the washing in, sat at the garden table reading, had a G & T and eaten a pizza.
Now just wasting time in the sunshine.

Can rely on mumsnet to inform me of how I am a terrible anti-social human in ways I had never considered 😆

But they are quiet and just enjoying the sun! I too had an awful time with my ex neighbours playing loud music for 10 hours a day in their garden and shouting constantly during lockdown. And I'm sensitive to noise.

If it bothers you seeing them then put up higher fences. I rarely see my neighbours but I can hear them sometimes doing things in the garden or chatting and it doesn't bother me. As they can probably hear me.

Build huge thick walks with sound proofing

Genuine question OP - you say the garden was a big feature of your new house...why would you not assume the neighbours felt similarly about their garden and would want to enjoy it?

Really struggling to see why you're upset when nothing you've said suggests the neighbours are anything but nice and quietly going about their business in their own garden 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think you have made a mistake moving to your new house. Perhaps another move is needed.

I've found an option for you….

Your neighbours are reading a book with a drink or sitting on a laptop in their own garden and you are angry about this?! Why should you get to use and enjoy your garden but not them?! Absolutely ridiculous. Get a bigger fence and get over yourself

Lol at 'I sort of know IABU'.

Ya think?? 🤣

but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

This is clearly a you problem.
They can use their garden as much as they want. Having a coffee, doing laptop work or doing yoga are hardly antisocial.

Is there more to this OP, why can't you relax in your own home as a consequence of neighbours using their garden in normal ways.
Why does this mean this is no longer a fresh start?

Unfortunately unless you move to a detached property this is always going to be the case at this time of year. I would try and not be so aware of it all the time - you need to distract yourself, stop watching what they're up to, get on with using your own garden and make the best of it instead of waiting for the neighbours to disappear or not use their garden, which wasn't ever a realistic outcome in the first place so it needs to be let go of.

You can always add more privacy with a higher fence, climbing plants. I find putting a parasol up on the patio gives a feeling of privacy so often do that in summer when I'm sitting out. Ultimately there isn't any need to have private conversations outside, I doubt the neighbours are meaningfully interested in chit chat. I often have earphones in when I'm in the garden and just play relaxing music if there is ambient noise bothering me or if our neighbours can be heard pottering/chatting.

Sounds like a fresh start in the country for you is required here.

Not gonna lie. That does look enticing. 😍

How is that different from YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND BEING OUT THERE ????

* it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!*

You've clearly never lived next to a park - it's nothing like two people using their garden in the way you describe.

What is remotely unfair about people, who likely bought their house in part for the garden exactly like you did, using their own garden?

Yep don't get the problem here either. Sound like perfect neighbours to me.

I can’t understand your problem honestly.
You can put a high fence and grow hedges around. It will resolve the issue.
What did you expect from your neighbors? To stay inside all the time?

My neighbours are always outside when the weather is anyway nice. Them and their 4 adult kids and their partners and their 90 grandkids(slight exaggeration but it feels that way), none of them work so when I say always out I mean always out. I'm sitting on my sofa right now and I can hear them, it's like living next to a creche 90% of the time. They are very loud, just in general, their talk is my shout. Your neighbours sound like a dream. I just wear earphones and get on with it, what's the alternative? The more you focus on it the more you notice it if you know what I mean.

I'm sure you know yourself that this is a you issue, your neighbours sound like good neighbours, just start using your garden, play music quietly if you feel the need, once you start using it you will wuickly forget that you are there.

Surely you have a 2 m fence for privacy?

That's your problem, not your neighbours.

Anyhoo, @Newhomeandgarden since you apparently don't want to TALK about your garden-loving neighbour problem with the great and the good of Mumsnet, could you please answer ONE teeny question for me.

How do you feel about Gregg's sausage rolls and Domino's pizzas being served at your work team's monthly planning meeting?

You know YABU so I’m not sure what we can say. How big is your fence?

Get a bigger fence. They are perfectly entitled to use their garden

Clearly NOT for the OP neighbours to use 🤣

Oh, you are funny, OP. 😅