I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

Maybe it’s naked yoga with no fence???

Exactly this. They probably think you are lurking too. Why are you annoyed at your neighbours for doing exactly the same as you?

Sorry OP but you sound nuts,

I suspect very much that is what OP was hoping to do with her ”fresh start”. Damn neighbours.

How many conversations do you have that you would mind your neighbours hearing?

Are you criminal masterminds?

We live in small cheek by jowl gardens but pretty much all of our conversations - and our neighbours’- are sufficiently dull that nobody bothers to listen to each other.

They are probably wondering why OP is lurking behind the curtains watching them. Again.

God yes the use of “lurking” I’m sure they are in their garden JUST WAITING to listen in to OP’s chat. Not just getting on with their own lives quietly at all oh no. They are Lurkers!!

I agree, that's what I had.

Please come back and tell us what "rocking the boat" would look like!

We moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start

Theyrs hardly nightmare neighbours just because they use their garden

What did you have in mind to do that your husband feels is rocking the boat

Well we are all anti social then here ..... But then we live in apartments that are nearby / some over looked - some with terraces , some with gardens and you are aware of music but its not annoying ... But there agian where I live its pretty unique so you get used to it ... Music is LOW so you often can t work out what it is anyway ! WOrse are football matches now that I do not like......

I’m in a terraced house with a small 25ft garden. There are four gardens abutting mine (two at the back). Everyone uses their garden but no one can see each other at all. Well, maybe if you looked out of an upstairs window you could. We have fences and shrubs.

This!!!

They're not noisy or antisocial and they're not trying to engage you in unwanted conversations. You don't have any grounds for being unhappy other than your own issues.

If you think someone sat reading in their garden is tantamount to being nightmare neighbours then the problem is certainly you, not your neighbours.

maybe your the problem

I know I can’t exactly in any way, shape or form ask them not to use their garden

Fixed that for you OP.

Haha I do understand OP. You could try installing a little splashy water feature to create a bit of background noise to muffle conversation.

You're utterly ridiculous.

It always blows my mind when people buy houses that are completely unsuitable for how they want to live, then complain that they’re unsuitable. Why, oh, why would you buy a house with a joined garden if you were going to feel weird if the neighbours used their garden?!

So they can bully the other people...

I mean, my very thought! How are they anything like your nightmare neighbours? What did they do? Use their garden and omg, sit in it?!

If the weather is halfway decent, our back door is propped open, the dogs are in and out, my dh works on his project in the shed, my veg patch is up against the mutual fence, we have 3 seating areas, all away from fences. I might need to top up the pond, feed the fish. I might-shock, horror-sit with a cup of tea after work talking to my Dh who might be working on his project out there. Clearly a nightmare neighbour! My fences are all at least 6ft, lots of plants on top so more like 8. Improve your fencing!

I think the only solution is that you go round there with a garden rota. Like "you use your garden Monday, Wednesday and alternate Fridays, and we'll have Tuesdays, Thursdays and the other Friday. Weekends we'll negotiate as we go along, but with the goal that we each get 26 exclusive weekends a year."

Or - kinda left-field, bit whacky, call me old-fashioned - you could mind your own bloody business.

I wondered the same....Rocking the boat indeed 🤣

What are you going to do OP ask them not to use their garden so much this summer??

Yes yabu for moving to a house with a garden that has no privacy when privacy is so important to you.

That's one of the reasons why I live in a detached house with a completely private garden and will probably never move! I get not everyone can afford a detached house in their chosen area but you will have to move more rurally or to a cheaper area if that's what you want.