I sort of know IABU, but would this bother you? Neighbours always in the garden.

[Newhomeandgarden]

DP and I bought and moved into our new house about 3 months ago. The garden was a big feature for us. The problem is that our next door neighbours clearly think so too - they’re always out in theirs and I mean always. The husband works from a home office at the bottom of the garden, the wife often brings her laptop out and works at the garden table, or else doing yoga on the grass or just sits there reading with a drink. It just makes me feel like they’re always just right there, lurking, and I feel really self-conscious when I sit in our garden and especially if DP and I have a conversation out there that they’re listening in on it. DP doesn’t want to rock the boat because they aren’t noisy or antisocial as such and we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours, but I’m just devastated that it looks like we’re going to end up in the same situation in what was meant to be our fresh start.

I know I can’t exactly ask them not to use their garden, but it just feels so unfair that I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

So you’ve got nice very quiet neighbours who work or read or do yoga outside and you see this as a problem?

They are entitled to use their property as they wish as do you.

if they were very noisy and anti social I’d have sympathy but in all honestly is sounds like you’d have been better moving to a rural location with no neighbours around at all.

For what it is worth…….I spend most of the day in our garden. We grow vegetables and fruit. Plants need tending and watering………if that upsets my neighbours I really could not give a flying fig! Get a grip!

I’ve got a tiny garden and neighbors who are often sitting out next door. The most irritating thing though is MY kids playing cricket/football or ping pong. Having a drink next door is lovely. 🍷🍾🥂. They are moving soon and I’m devastated.

Oh no!

Reading a book in her own garden. How bloody intrusive!

So op’s upset she can’t use her garden because her neighbours use their garden like two families cannot be in their own gardens at the same time. Crazy.

Put up a fence and get over it. The issue not the fence

The weather has been glorious for months! Everyone has been in their gardens a lot. Relax and enjoy it OP. Nextdoor does. You sound weirdly strung up. If you don’t want any neighbours that’s fair enough, but don’t expect to buy a house with neighbours and then lo and behold those neighbours use their gardens.

She’s doing yoga FFS, not crack.

Just use your garden. Put up a higher fence.

They are allowed to enjoy their garden.

This would upset me too. I'd install a tight arbor vitae hedge--this weekend.

This is among the most ludicrous AIBU posts I have read on MN. Here are five suggestions for resolving your troubling situation:

1. Stay inside.
2. Erect a permanent marquee that covers the entirety of your garden.
3. Have your garden dug down two metres and the earth piled up around the cavity so that you see only dirt and roots rather than your neighbours. Bonus: they won't be able to see you either!
4. Stop talking to your DH. Text instead when outside and preserve your privacy.
5. Install floodlights and use your garden only at night.

With homage to Viz

"I’m just devastated"

Here, have a teeny tiny 🎻.

They are probably thinking ‘Aren’t our new neighbours weird, we’re having this glorious weather and they are always inside.’

Tall fence. I live in a terrace with a young family in one sude middle aged couple (no kids) on the other then there’s me with adult children (away at uni) and dogs and cats. I know when they are out and I’m sure they can probably tell when I am even though I make little noise. But either way the fences and some planting we can’t see each other. I’m totally happy sitting out with a book while the neighbours are out (and actually quite interesting eavesdropping)!

It’s not them, it’s you.

we moved to get away from nightmare neighbours

God, what happened-did they water their own plants daily or something?!

I can’t relax in my own home because it’s like living next to a public park!

If the public park only ever had two virtually silent people in, that is....

I'll get groans for this, OP, but in spite of what I've posted above I do get a wee bit anxious if someone's in the garden next door whilst I'm working out the back.

I'm ND, but I've no idea whether that explains it. I do have hedges round all of my boundaries.

How can you only 'sort of know' you are being unreasonable - this is one of the most unreasonable things I have read on mumsnet for a while!

Are you generally a very self conscious person? I can guarantee your neighbours will have zero interest in your private conversations and probably won't even pay attention to you being in the garden!

Try having neighbours that are loud, have a barking dog and smoke so much weed you can't put washing out. You are lucky op that's all they do is sit outside. You sound very entitled

What is the reason you can see them? Are there low fences? We need a diagram of the garden!

Don't you just hate it when people use their own garden whenever they want?

Only on Mumsnet.

Of course you are being unreasonable.

If you can see them then purchase some taller fences. They sound quiet - so it's just your own self being self conscious out there. You're gonna have to get over it, unless you can find enough money to purchase a detached house.

You can buy hedge plants that are further along in the growth process to speed up the time until you have a nice visual and sound barrier.

You need a higher fence and maybe some bushes.
And maybe headphones so you dont hear them talking.

Obviously they are not doing anything wrong so you need to change your situation and mindset about them

You're being completely ridiculous. They aren’t nightmare neighbours, they are just using their space. Exactly the same as you want to do.

What exactly did you want to do to ‘rock the boat’ that your partner doesn’t? Have a word with them? Quite rightly, they would probably tell you to sod off!

I thought this. To be honest I’m on the fence (no pun intended) as to who were the nightmare neighbours in the OP’s old home !!