Evil MIL

[Warmsunnyday1]

Who has one? I do, shes a horrid narcissist who can see no wrong in her actions, she falls out with everyone, of course its never her fault, always everyone else,the poor woman. She doesn’t speak to her son or myself anymore because i dared to call her daughter out for speaking to me like I was absolutely nothing, i mean how dare I, should have just sat back and taken all the abuse like a good little DIL. Why are they so nuts?

I’m jealous that you don’t need to speak to her anymore. My MIL comes to stay all the time and I absolutely detest her.

Im sorry why are they so horrible x

Two sides to every story...

Mine is an ex horrid MIL. she pretends I don’t exist when ex and DS9 spend time with them. Her legacy will be that she treated his mummy like dirt. It already upsets him. I don’t say anything because I chose to rise above.

There 100% is, and where I can share my story with just about anyone who asks and proudly hold my head up high that I did everything I coukd to make the situation better, MIL is too ashamed to utter a word to anyone

This! Dont they understand that? My son is young but is also very aware of how his grandmother treated his mother and father, mainly because she would do alot of the screeching right in front of him. This will also be her legacy.

I used to have truly awful in-laws. Got divorced. New DP has a huuuge family and they're all lovely. SCORE!!!! 😂

I have always treated my MIL with the utmost respect. Taken her on day trips, welcomed her into our home. But she is horrible to me when DH’s back is turned and it’s wearing me down now. I feel she’s jealous of me because I’m with her favourite son, and in a sick and twisted way, she wants him to herself.

@Warmsunnyday1 and @Mistyglade if they behave like that I wouldn’t expose my child to her.

This sounds wonderful! I did reach a point at one time where if they carried on I would have taken our 2 DC and left, with or without husband, thankfully mil took it upon herself to not speak to us (she still try’s to have some form of relationship with the children, but of course shes made it very hard for herself)

Does she have anyone else influencing her behaviour? In my case her daughter was also absolute poison.

If I tried to stop him going on holiday and spending every other Xmas with them it’d be playing right into her and her daughters hands. It’s a lose lose. I believe the truth outs in the end and it’s best not to rise but it’s very difficult and makes my heart hurt when he’s there. I have a very good relationship with my ex and I don’t have much family and don’t want my son to miss out on having family memories.

Not that I’m aware of. I believe I get along with the rest of his family (unless there is something going on behind my back that I don’t know about). It puzzles me though; I can’t really understand how someone could behave in this way and think it’s ok. It’s just awful, and odd. I understand how you are fed up with your MIL. They can cause a lot of problems.

I’m a MIL and I’m not horrible. I don’t interfere plus I’m a laugh so…

You sound lovely :) x

@Warmsunnyday1 Thanks. I’ll help out if I’m needed. If I’ve got it they can have it. I love them and they love me. We’re lucky ❤️

I love it when people say this like it’s a piece of Dalai Lama level insight, rather than probably the most trite and obvious thing you could trot out.

My MIL had a bad flying experience, and now refuses to get back on her broomstick.

Maybe, but from my own friends experience, the narcissistic DIL would spout shit like this thread all the time to make herself a victim of the "Evil MIL" when it was entirely the other way round. The DIL would make an issue of every tiny thing. Too many phone calls/visits? Interfering MIL. So MIL backs off...MIL doesn't put any effort in and favourites other DC/DGC. MIL asks about DILs life ... Sticks her nose in. Doesn't ask about DILs life ... MIL doesn't care.

I've seen the damage it did to the MIL who has a DIL always playing the victim so I absolutely hate these threads with a passion as I rarely believe the "poor innocent DIL" perspective. Especially when there are no real examples of wrongdoing on the MILs part and it's all wishy-washy "she's unkind" stuff.

Thank my lucky stars my husband saw what his mother and father were really like.. Toxic asf. Sadly his brother and wife don't see it or ignore it. But all they did was talk badly about all of us to each other. Don't miss them one bit life is much more peaceful... There are some lovely in laws out there but sadly werent mine. All that matters is the family we created for ourselves.

Especially the OPs comment about "sharing her story" i.e. making sure everyone knows she's the victim and how evil the MIL is, whereas someone who is actually upset about the situation (the MIL) doesn't want to badmouth DIL to all of sundry because she still hopes for a future relationship. It's often the instigators in these situations that want to get their story out there first to make sure everyone believes their tall tales about being the victim.

I had one of these, she stopped talking to us & dc for over a year then got in touch only when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer I ended up nursing her in her final months. She actually apologised for all the batshit crazy things she did — so maybe your MIL will relieze one day the stress she put you through.

I think it’s more fair to say some people - women/men are vile rather than state and question generally why MILs are nuts.

People can be vile to family and horrible to friends. I know of rude, narcissistic women and men who fit this brief who are not MILs or DILs. Also know lots of MILs and DILs who are kind and compassionate.

No, by sharing the story, I mean. If someone asks what has happened, which they do, because MIL makes it obvious with her aggressive comments about me, I am able to answer honestly and truthfully, my MIL cant do that, she cannot speak the truth because she knows the truth puts her in a bad light, because she knows that everything she did was in a bad light. I have been nothing but good to MIL but received torrents of abuse in return because she is quite simply just a bad person. Speaking the truth is not playing the victim, it is simply answering questions when people ask honestly and factually. THIS is what I mean by being able to hold my head high. I do not go out in public to trash her name, i cane to an anonymous mumsnet forum to try and off load alot of the hurt in my heart.

I mean I could give you plenty of examples when friends have asked what went wrong , I tell them the factual truth, and their jaws drop to the floor 🤷🏻‍♀️