Evil MIL

[Warmsunnyday1]

Who has one? I do, shes a horrid narcissist who can see no wrong in her actions, she falls out with everyone, of course its never her fault, always everyone else,the poor woman. She doesn’t speak to her son or myself anymore because i dared to call her daughter out for speaking to me like I was absolutely nothing, i mean how dare I, should have just sat back and taken all the abuse like a good little DIL. Why are they so nuts?

Absolutely, if my own mother had snuck into our room in the middle of the night whilst she was staying with us and taken our sleeping baby from his Moses basket so she could sleep with him and letting me wake up to an empty basket, I would have absolutely snatched baby back and ask mother what on earth did she think she was doing?! But because it was MIL, when i asked her what she was doing, she told ne not to be so rude that she was only trying to help and started to cry 🙈

For balance, my MIL was a wonderful woman. She died last year of dementia. I have been divorced from her son for 9 years. He was estranged from her for many years before that. I maintained my relationship with her, for myself and for my sons. It was a privilege to help care for her during her illness and sit with her during her last weeks.
I hope if my sons have partners that I can be a lovely MIL.

No need to... She either plasters everything on SM or is just thoroughly unpleasant in person. You used to see the embarrassment on her DHs (the MILs son) face when he tried to pacify but he's either given up, or succumbed to her warped sense of worth.

I had one. She passed three years ago. I won't lie, my life improved dramatically.

FIL's life did as well. He married her best friend (lovely lady) very quickly and I never realised he could look... happy..... I also rarely hear anyone talk about her anymore and family that cut ties came back to see FIL again.

My most ragey thing though, is I was always blamed for her abuse, even though she eventually lost everyone close to her due to her behaviour.

Now, if only I could get away from manipulative SIL & her braggy DH.....

That does sound different, but like you say not all MIL’s are to blame, but please appreciate that not all DIL’s are to blame. The hurt your friend feels is very much the hurt DIL’s can feel and it is horrific. The DIL in your case actually sounds like my MIL, (not the SM part) and the look on her husbands face and her sons face when she used to rant away is usually of pure embarrassment with my poor FIL uttering “sorry “ to me under his breath,

My ex MIL was horrendous. She would smoke 60 a day so we'd leave smelling like ashtrays. Then in front of her own son she'd tell us in graphic detail what she'd been doing with disgusting men she met on dating apps.
One time she showed me her boobs and said these aren't too bad are they.
Revolting woman.

That’s such a shame, I had the most wonderful late MIL, she was ace, miss her everyday.

Its also easy enough to day “no need to” but like you say, 2 sides to every story…The SM posting tells me there is a very obvious sense of deep hurt on the DIL’s behalf, something has been said/done to create a sense of anger and resentment in her.

Ffs. Sometimes there really aren’t

Only on page 1 so far, but do you think it's all about control? They ( ILs) can not control the narrative when their son or daughter moves on, but that doesn't stop them trying. Sad.

Ew 😬

My lovely mil died. She was wonderful. I miss her all the time.

Possibly, I know when she fell out with her DH’s sisters (all of them) it was about control and wanting to be the main woman, the queen, so she drove them all away and now my FIL has 0 relationship with his sisters, and she is trying to do the same with his own son and DIL.

She didn’t say that at all.

Thank you. I know full well there are 2 sides to every story, but its not nice to insinuate that an OP is lying, is a narcissist or is “woe is me” when i’ve been through hell and back at the hands of my MIL.

if you mean that the MIL from hell see themselves as victims for not being the centre of the world? You are probably not wrong.

The problem with IL is that you are stuck with them. Anyone else being a quarter as horrible as some of these stories, you just cut contact immediately and forget about them. But with an over-bearing unreasonable MIL from hell, it's not that easy.

Nope, got a wonderful MiL.

My actual mother made Cruella de Vil seem like Mary Poppins though, so I guess it swings in roundabouts.

Sometimes there aren't 2 sides to a story, some people are just plain nasty for no reason other than you married their child. My MIL was awful and to this day I'm not sure why.

These MIL bashing threads are tedious.

There are some horrible people in the world, has nothing to do with them being a MIL or not. They’re just horrible people.

And in many instances there absolutely are two sides to the story.

And I assume that none of the MIL bashers have sons, because in 20 years time you can be expecting to be lumped in with the “all MILs are horrible” train of thought.

And do bear in mind that men have MILs as well.

You think MILs are awful people? Be careful what you wish for.

Please read every single comment I have posted, particularly the one about my son and his future wife, I am very careful of what I wish for, and it is to NEVER put my future DIL through what I had to go through. Also, mu husband does not have a MIL, my own mother past away when we were dating, but he adored her and grieved hard for her

Two sides to everything. From this less than tiny snippet, you sound rather hot headed and the fact that you say you've done everything to improve the situation and it's your mother in law that doesn't take any responsibility for wrong doings, is a touch ironic.

hot headed or angry? Because hurt can come across as anger.like ive said it comes from a place of years and years of horridness and finally having enough. Good people get tired as well.

My DM can be difficult, and my SIL (brothers wife) often used to make out to me that she was being completely outrageous but it was always exaggerated. My SIL can also be a completely self involved PITA. So I always take these threads with a huge pinch of salt!

I can remember the first time I met my exes mum, i asked him first (I was 15) what her favourite flowers were and took her them. She looked at me and said, “DH buys me these, not you”. And put them in the bin.
He is in his mid 40s now and I was his last “serious” relationship. I often wonder if that behaviour from his mother has put off all the potential relationships he could have had. She asked me was I pregnant when we met the second time we met, again, I am still 15, I said no because I wasn’t and she then calls over her son and says “stop taking HER the chippy”.

Set a tone for the future ones and now Im happily NC with Mr Lwreninem’s mother as are all the DiLs. We’ve all tried with her, individually and as a family and she just keeps threatening us all with anything she can and sporadically makes false allegations to different services.
It goes in cycles, so it’s SiL B’s turn next and she’s genuinely frightened. She’s gone Social Services prior with this SiL and it almost ended her marriage to BiL but it makes it easier there is 3 of us, we support one another through the whole crazy, none of her DS see her either.

I had one my daughters grandmother, she was absolutely horrid. She had a lovely sweet mask but underneath she was a very nasty woman. Glad I do not deal with her anymore.