Is sending me money a red flag?

[Kenyaparks]

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

This generation of people are so strange to me

How could he send money unless you gave him your bank details? Why would you do that? Send the money back.

I agree. You are completely unreasonable and playing a very silly game. #paypig

Are you also sending him photos of your feet?

Jokingly asked him for money. Okay then. Hilarious. He’ll likely dump you.

I send and receive money on Revolut. No bank details needed.

100% this - you are the red flag and he’s the sucker. Your “jokes” clearly weren’t taken that way.

You started it what did you expect he’s trying impress but it does smack of desperation tbh

You asked him for money. Don't pretend it was a joke. Stop asking him for stuff. He could think your affections can be easily bought or that you're a gold-digger. Or maybe he's just a nice person and feels sorry for you. So don't ask him any more and refuse it if he offers.

You both sound odd.
Why would you be asking him for money? You must have given him, a stranger, your bank details which is rather weird.
From your description he sounds vulnerable (which could be a reason for online dating) and feels the need to give you money to make you happy and keep chatting to him.

Why would you ask him for money?

You're the red flag. Clearly your 'it's all jokes' banter needs some work. I'd advise him to steer clear.

Stop asking him for money!!!!

The red flag is you asking for money, then sending him the route in which to send it. This is on you.

You're weird, mate.

Yes.

I can't take this thread seriously

You’re the red flag. You said it was a joke, it wasn’t you asked again for more money. You were doing it to get money. He should run a mile from you

Oh dear, this hasn't gone the way you expected has it? To echo the others, you are the red flag and super weird tbh. Why the hell would he have your details to send you money in the first place? You seem a gold digger and he should run!

This!

YABU for asking for money from a man you have never met. That's utterly shameful.

It’s a thing isn’t it, a sort of fetish?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4690834-to-turn-down-the-offer-of-a-free-coffee-boy

It suggests he either sees you as someone to be bought, or he is so desperate/socially awkward he doesn't know how else to get you to like him.

It also, possibly, suggests he has low standards regarding women he dates (which might go hand in hand with being desperate).

As previous posters have said - the big red flag here is YOU.

OP a month ago you’d been seeing someone for 6 months. Have you split up now?

What a bizarre post
How old are you op

the red flags are coming from one side and it’s not his.