You shouldn’t expect, allow or ask for him to pay for anything for you, even as a joke. You’re an independent adult. Pay your own way. Sure, you can take it in turns to pay for coffee, dinner, buy each other little gifts. But it shouldn‘t be one-sided.
By joking about him paying, you’re indicating to him you want an unequal relationship, where he pays for things for you. Unequal relationships can be unhealthy.
Him sending you money is a red flag. It’s transactional. He’s either trying to get you into a position where you owe him and he should expect something in return. Or he’s so desperate for a relationship with you or has such low self esteem, he’s willing to pay. It’s possible he believes it’s ’gentlemanly’, but that suggests he believes in old-fashioned gender roles, which also isn’t great. An enlightened man would expect you to pay for yourself, with your own money.
If he keeps paying money into your account, make it clear you don’t want it and, if he keeps doing it, you’ll have to consider ending the relationship. Don’t joke about it anymore. Apologise that you did.
Pressuring you to give him your address is a serious red flag. A decent man wouldn’t do this. He’d understand it wouldn’t be sensible until you know him better IRL. Have you asked him why he wants to know it? Set clear boundaries and simply say you don’t want to share your address. His reaction will be telling.
It’s not a good idea to give a man you solely/mainly know from being online (including video calls) your address or invite him to your home. Or go to his home for the night without having met him a good few times in person. People can heavily curate themselves online, including in video calls. Being with someone IRL you see spontaneous reactions in public, how they treat others etc. And instinct (bad vibes emanating) works better.
Don’t go to his home to stay the night without visiting a few times in the day and figuring out if it’s safe, e.g. could you get out if you wanted/needed, are there neighbouring homes, how easy could you get home/into town if you left? Get to know him in person first, meet his friends, work colleagues and ideally family.
If you want to have a romantic night, stay in an hotel with professional staff. And tell a trusted friend the name of the hotel and room number and give them his phone number. Let them know you’ll call them at a particular time the next day to let them know you’re OK. If they don’t hear from you, they should call you and (if no answer) then call the hotel and ask them to get a message to you. Basic safety measures that aren’t OTT.
If he already knows your address, or finds out, make sure you have safety measures: friendly, trustworthy neighbours who keep an eye out for you, friends nearby who you could text a code word to if he turns up and acts weird, spy hole, good locks etc.