Is sending me money a red flag?

[Kenyaparks]

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

You were being weird asking for money. He sounds just as bad so probably best to just block him.

How is it easier to bank transfer? With revolut it's instant and you only need phone number or email.

Tell the Police what exactly? She said she needed money and he sent it, if she's worried about him just block but she hasn't...she's the red flag!

The red flag initially is you asking for money. Who on earth jokes about asking for coffee money??? Moreover when he sent you some (how? how on earth does he have your bank details etc for that?) you could and indeed should have likely immediately returned it.

Why on earth are you telling him to buy you a watch? Urgh. From your description of what's been going on it seems you are money focused and also seem to be testing him: first with the coffee money suggestion, and then with the watch money suggestion. This is not appropriate behaviour at all. It also makes you seem very materialistic and also suggests that you can be bought. Stop it.

As for him offering to buy you stuff: you can't tell someone that you want them to buy you something and then be surprised that when they listen and then do that or offer to do that. Stop giving him mixed signals. If you don't want him to buy you things then stop asking him to!

Seems like you need to grow up and be more mindful of what you say to other people. Don't give people mixed signals: if you want something, then ask for it. If you don't actually want something then don't ask for it. But don't blame a man (or anyone else) if you tell them that you want something, they act on that request, and then you decide that you were actually joking. It's not fair to them - and it's very manipulative.

I didn't say it's easier i said it's more convenient. When I use Revolut I have to transfer money in and out of my bank account to my Revolut account. If I used Revolut as my main daily transaction account then it wouldn't make much difference. But I use a specific current account for my day to day spending so I don't want to faff around moving money to/from Revolut into my current account when I could just do bank transfer via app.

OP clearly stated they used cash app so he doesn’t need her bank details. He just needs to know her cash app name or number.

I know what cash app is as I have a lot of American friends and visit the U.S. once a year, but it’s not that weird for a British person not to know as it’s never really been a big thing here . Apparently it did used to be available to UK residents but it was never popular AFAIK

When I was over last year the hairdresser kept asking me to send her a deposit via cash app. She struggled to understand why I wasn’t able to get the app.

Anyway OP, be careful of this man. I was talking to a man in the US once and he was insistent he would pay for my trip over there. I go there a lot anyway so I paid for the whole trip myself and I’m so glad I did because I know he’d have felt entitled to sex.

And as it happened I didn’t feel like sleeping with him when I met him.

If you’re able to send the money back next time, do so. He sounds controlling and this is him in his charm offensive stage as well so it’ll only get worse.

And next time you meet a man don’t “joke” about asking them for money. It doesn't build respect and from my experience of American men many of them so willing to send money to a woman straight off the bat aren’t so great at treating them like equals in the long term.

No. That she asked him to stop sending it and he ignored her.

Yes but we are talking about op and explained how op could recieve money without sharing account details.

But she can block him from sending money, I don't think he has done anything that would warrant calling the police on him, she is choosing to stay in contact, she likes the drama.she is the red flag.

I was just responding to people querying the use of online banking.

If you are getting unwelcome phone calls which you cannot block, the police are there to help you.

Just ask. I don't know why the op asked us anyway. She is suspicious enough to have reported the matter.

I saw same thing on youtube. Dont think its genuine