Is sending me money a red flag?

[Kenyaparks]

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

We were on the phone and I had to take a phone call and I told him I would call him right back. He told me not to hang up. I did and ended up calling him back told him that my mom was just calling to ask me if I wanted something to eat… he then replied saying “couldn’t you have just texted her that” …. At that point I hung up on him, I found that very disrespectful.

Ditch him then? Not sure what you’re expecting people to say? ‘He sounds like a keeper, go for it’?

So OP sent the money back but then keeps "joking" that she wants more money. OK. Then followed by a load of dripfeeds about how awful he is.

So you hinted you want some money from him, were happy to give him your details, and accepted the cash -Why? I can't imagine even jokingly asking another adult I've just met for money, or saying it's not enough knowing they obviously are likely to send more, that isn't normal OP and you clearly did want money from him or it wouldn't be in your bank account in the first place. If I started dating someone and they 'jokingly' asked for money I would block them.

24 is an adult age, stop asking strange men for money and accepting it, stop talking to him and cease contact (block him) if his behaviour now is making you uncomfortable or you feel unsafe.

😅😅

Asking for money is a red flag. Him paying it makes him foolish but also means he probably thinks you owe him.

Sounds like you're testing the waters as to how much he's willing to splash the cash. Now you're turning it round on him to look for ulterior motives. Quit the silly game playing.

So your opening post was about money, then there’s all these extra things that scream red flag. By asking him for money you’re playing this weird game with him. Just stop talking to him for goodness sake.

Op you sound like you are very naive, leave this man well alone.
Yes red flag completely, he could be love bombing you, scamming you, gaining trust and finding out your details. Sending small amounts of money then one day hes like, oh send me your bank details for a large cash deposit, finding out your apartment number etc

But you don't feel it is disrespectful to ask for money?

Yuck.

I’m not sure why you keep asking for money. You said you ‘jokingly’ asked for money for a coffee and he sent it. You then made another ‘joke’ for more money which he sent. You ‘definitely appreciated it’. You need to stop this. You know exactly what you are doing and were trying to see how far you could push it. And now you are trying to justify this to yourself. I cannot imagine making ‘jokes’ to anyone about money (particularly someone I don’t even really know) and then accepting money sent. Send the money back and stop communicating with this man. You are getting yourself into a situation with someone that you don’t really know and engaging in behaviour that is creating obligations. Is he a red flag? The behaviour you later describe does not sound healthy. But neither does yours. You have agency here and need to step back and reflect on your own behaviour that is also not healthy and leading to potentially unsafe situations.

Indeed. You need to send the money back with a ‘I really was just joking’ note.

He's a massive red flag but your behaviour isn't exactly normal either.

Sorry but I wouldn't give my information to somebody I didn't know any more then I would send somebody money i didn't know - I'm assuming your in America or Australia by the states bit ?

OP, delete his number and block him. The more you say about him are red flags. Him saying he isn’t a stalker etc, certainly looks like he is.

He’s clearly ‘into it’ I know someone who is. If you’re into it go for it but it certainly won’t be a relationship cos he’ll do it to other people. But if you’re looking to have a few months funded and have some fun go for it! You’re young!

Google findom!

If you’re asking for money I assume you have a plan? Why are you asking us?

Fucking hell! You’re the red flag here…you’re behaving like a FinDom and he’s your cash pig!

Just stop!

Stop “joking” and asking him for money.

You sound incredibly immature.

You seem to be the red flag, though

don’t think asking you who you’re em texting while talking to him is necessarily a red flag.

it’s very annoying to be talking to someone, be it your partner, daughter, friend and see they’re distracted talking to someone else on the phone.

Are you 12?
Stop playing dangerous games.

How do you mean "he wouldn't take it"? If it's possible to reject money which someone tries to send you via this app, why didn't you just reject the money when he tried to send it to you?