Is sending me money a red flag?

[Kenyaparks]

So I’ve been talking to this man for about a month now. We’ve done loads of phone and video calls. He lives out of state but he happens to live in the state that I’m moving to in a couple months. He is also coming out to where I am to visit me before I move out there.

I jokingly asked him for coffee money and he sent me some, I told him jokingly that it wasn’t enough and he ended up sending me more money? It was all jokes I didn’t think he was going to obviously do it, I definitely appreciate it. I was in the store today and I told him he should by a watch from the store I was at? He asked me if I wanted it and that he would send me the money… I obviously declined the offer.

is it a red flag that he’s sending me money and hasn’t met me yet ?

OP, I am with you on this. I'd be fuming that the absolute evidence has been ignored. I hate and can not deal with injustice. What I will say, though, is that for your own sake, drop the matter now. It seems unlikely that you'll get any kind of meaningful apology or acceptance from them of their wrong-doings.
Your DS is now at his new school, and hopefully, thriving there. The sooner you drop this matter, the sooner you can get over the injustice of it. It's not easy to step away, but in this instance, it's the best thing to do.

How do you expect banks to get cash if in the 70s transfers were not made?
Still a transfer just a different format in the 70s it is how banks work - cash is transferred - please keep up

If it was such a joke, why did you give him your bank details? Have you done this to men jokingly before? You don't sound very funny, what would you have done if he said no?

A girl on my year at high school used to to this to the males, aged around 14 OP. She ended up totally embarrassing herself by losing her virginity aged 14 to a guy at the school, who told everybody, was pregnant by 16 to a man who dealt drigs and cheated on her. She then married and had a child with an alcoholic.

Last I heard she had grown up a lot, and settled down after 2 children by 2 different men very young. She was on good terms with her mother, which was not the case until at least her 30s, her new husband seemed nice.

I can't believe how many people not knowing what a cash app is?.... you have Revolut or Swift online banking in UK?

Offs!....Revolut/Swift ect I can't believe so many people don't know or use these, my husband is from uk so I know they are available there and just about every country in the world.

She doesn't have to send him her details! It's like Revolut or swift all you need is their name and phone number, which he obviously has.

This. I haven't needed anyone's bank details in years. Just swipe on an app and money gets tranfered to your friend.

The absolutely correct response after your first "jokey"comment when he sent the money would have been to send it straight back with an apology! As you did not but continued to "joke" this makes you, IMO a not very nice person

Of course we have these, they're just not popular for transferring money when its so easy to do this bank to bank via an app. I have revolut and Wise, I use them for international currencies when travelling but in the UK its much more convenient to just use my bank as I don't have to move money in and out of my revolut/wise accounts.

She doesn't have to accept the payment either! It's been a whilebut am fairly sure you have to accept an incoming payment

You were not joking. Who jokes about asking for money?Then when he sent it,you accepted it. He appears very needy and you appear very greedy. Will you be joking about him sending money for a car next?

We generally just bank transfer… I have heard of Revolut, but have never used it and don’t think I’ve heard the term ”cash app” used to describe it. If OP wants responses from US residents, then maybe they should post on a US-centric site.

Asking him once for money is a joke, why do you keep asking him? you appear to be taking advantage, it's not a joke when you keep asking and when he gave you some you asked for more

I'm just saying as so many people commented about she must of given bank details but with revolut and others you only need phone numberor email. She is still wrong though, after "joking" about coffee money she then mentions a watch that he might want to buy! Then she asks if him sending her money is a red flag? I think this is a wind up.

I lost probably about half a dozen iq points skim reading parts of this thread.

This is a major red flag.
It is WAY worse than merely 'disrespectful'.
I'm sorry, no matter how physically attractive this man may appear, he is a controlling person who wants your 100% attention on him. And he 'can hear your nails tapping' when you are messaging someone else? WTAF??
However innocently you did it, it seems that he may think he can now buy you and also he thinks that in return he has the right to monopolise your attention. This is not normal. That way lies coercive control.
Do NOT give him your new address.
Your instincts are right-he IS a red flag.
And JFI - in future don't even hint to men you barely know that you'd like them to buy you things, however small.
Personally I would be cutting off all contact with this man. If you do that-be polite to him and stay safe.

He made me upset and sent me more money without asking

Return it then

So he's buying your tears/pain.

What do you mean he sent it without asking? You asked at least 3x.

And he had her bank info to send it. He didn't stuff it in her letterbox

I do wonder if these posts are real...

You’re both red flags… if this is real. You don’t sound ready to be in a relationship.

Why the hell are you still messing around with this! Cut the contact and block him from sending you money, until you do that, you just come across as a desperate gold-digger! If he's vulnerable and someone his end notices it and reports you, you end up with a criminal record! Is the money that important that you'd keep taking all these risks to keep getting it! You aren't carrying on with this because it feels healthy or like it has a future, you are doing this just for the money!

Tell the police.