Team day out without me

Ereerenownow · 2025-05-10T15:04:18+00:00

Have just seen on social media that my entire team have been taken out as a treat by our manager. He has taken them to a local seaside resort for ice creams and general fun. I haven't been invited and didn't know anything about it. I'm the only one not there. We were all in the office yesterday and not a single person mentioned it.

DogWithoutItsPerson · 10/05/2025 16:05

That’s shit of him. Can you think of any reason he might have chosen to not invite you?

NewBinBag · 10/05/2025 16:06

Is this part of a pattern of ostracism or a one off?

What are you going to do?

EllasNonny · 10/05/2025 16:07

Very nasty behaviour.

Moveoverdarlin · 10/05/2025 16:07

That’s really shit. I would comment on the picture ‘Looks fun, hope you all had a lovely time.’

Absolute bastards. Go in the office with your head held high on Monday and if anyone mentions it, be honest. Say ‘Well it felt like a slap in the face to be honest, I’m clearly not in the in-crowd’.

NamechangeJunebaby · 10/05/2025 16:07

Oh dear. Is this type of exclusion a common occurrence? Employment case law recently has had some cases similar to this - even down to one where a team member wasn’t asked if they wanted a cuppa. Possible work place bullying. Unless there’s a specific reason that you can think of - it is horrible to be excluded.

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 10/05/2025 16:08

Whilst this is shit and exclusionary, it’s also a blessing in disguise. Forced fun? Ugh.

ToddlerMumma · 10/05/2025 16:08

Wow, that must be so hurtful. I would calmly ask your manager on Monday why you weren’t invited.

verycloakanddaggers · 10/05/2025 16:09

Don't comment on SM.

Is it a large organisation? If so you can consider whether to raise a concern about this behaviour.

BreadInCaptivity · 10/05/2025 16:10

NamechangeJunebaby · 10/05/2025 16:07

Oh dear. Is this type of exclusion a common occurrence? Employment case law recently has had some cases similar to this - even down to one where a team member wasn’t asked if they wanted a cuppa. Possible work place bullying. Unless there’s a specific reason that you can think of - it is horrible to be excluded.

This.

It’s awful behaviour and likely discrimination.

Take a screenshot and raise with HR.

TennesseeStella · 10/05/2025 16:11

Ice cream at the seaside is a fun day out for toddlers, not working adults. I'd be quite glad not to be asked along!

WerkItBabes · 10/05/2025 16:11

A day out at the seaside with colleagues sounds absolutely horrendous, so I do think you've dodged a bullet.

But, in the company I work for this would absolutely be considered bullying. In fact, something similar to this is used as an example of workplace bullying in our training.

If you suspect you've been excluded on the grounds of any protected characteristics, you'd have a strong claim for direct discrimination.

topcat2014 · 10/05/2025 16:13

On a weekend? Is this a normal working day?

Contrary to others, I'm not averse to meeting up with work colleagues outside of work - the other year we went on a walk / pub lunch in August, but we make sure to invite everyone - and choose days that would probably work for most

Enigma53 · 10/05/2025 16:14

That’s just utter shit, regardless of where the fun day out was. Why an earth weren’t you invited? It’s odd.

Original poster

Ereerenownow · 10/05/2025 16:16

Thanks for your messages. I don't think I'm well liked in work. It's a medium sized business but im not part of any clique and it is very cliquey. I'm quiet and people think they can say what they want to me. I've had issues with a couple of colleagues and the manager has always taken their side even when it's been proven that I didn't do anything wrong and they told lies about me. He does quite often ignore me and even when he does speak to me, he won't give me any eye contact. Even so, surely it's shit not to invite me or even mention it to me??

OP posts:

aylis · 10/05/2025 16:18

That's really harsh and very shit.

Coconutter24 · 10/05/2025 16:20

TennesseeStella · 10/05/2025 16:11

Ice cream at the seaside is a fun day out for toddlers, not working adults. I'd be quite glad not to be asked along!

If someone is invited they have the option to go or decline instead of automatically being excluded

chatgptsbestmate · 10/05/2025 16:21

Ereerenownow · 10/05/2025 16:16

Thanks for your messages. I don't think I'm well liked in work. It's a medium sized business but im not part of any clique and it is very cliquey. I'm quiet and people think they can say what they want to me. I've had issues with a couple of colleagues and the manager has always taken their side even when it's been proven that I didn't do anything wrong and they told lies about me. He does quite often ignore me and even when he does speak to me, he won't give me any eye contact. Even so, surely it's shit not to invite me or even mention it to me??

Yes. Its bullying, I think. I'd contact ACAS and ask what you can do

Whoarethoseguys · 10/05/2025 16:24

It sounds like a horrible situation. If you have a Union you should talk to them for advice and definitely log every incident where you have been ignored as this behaviour is a firm of bullying.
I would also make sure management are aware of the situation.
But also at the same time look for another job

B1indEye · 10/05/2025 16:25

TennesseeStella · 10/05/2025 16:11

Ice cream at the seaside is a fun day out for toddlers, not working adults. I'd be quite glad not to be asked along!

Maybe imagine it was something you would like to have done, would you still feel the same?

Ice creams are not the issue here

SunsetSinging · 10/05/2025 16:27

Ereerenownow · 10/05/2025 16:16

Thanks for your messages. I don't think I'm well liked in work. It's a medium sized business but im not part of any clique and it is very cliquey. I'm quiet and people think they can say what they want to me. I've had issues with a couple of colleagues and the manager has always taken their side even when it's been proven that I didn't do anything wrong and they told lies about me. He does quite often ignore me and even when he does speak to me, he won't give me any eye contact. Even so, surely it's shit not to invite me or even mention it to me??

Whether you’re well liked or not doesn’t matter. You could be a total bloody nightmare and it still wouldn’t matter. They can’t just ostracise you, that’s bullying and you should definitely take it further. There are far more qualified people here who can tell you how - good luck.

PullTheBricksDown · 10/05/2025 16:28

That's not on. Are you looking to move jobs? I wouldn't want to be in that atmosphere long term.

Take screenshots. Ask your manager on Monday why you weren't invited. Then think about talking to HR if there is any at your firm.

RentalWoesNotFun · 10/05/2025 16:30

That sucks. You can’t really win coz if you say anything the chat after between the bitches will be “did you hear moanyface complained at not being invited yesterday and manager said we can’t do anything else nice again because of her, cow”.

Best thing to do is look fur another job now you know you’re not well liked to the extent they don’t invite you on jollys. They are horrible. You deserve better.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 10/05/2025 16:31

HiddenInCubeOfCheese · 10/05/2025 16:08

Whilst this is shit and exclusionary, it’s also a blessing in disguise. Forced fun? Ugh.

It’s just nice to have the option.

AgnesX · 10/05/2025 16:34

Are you the only one in the team who wasn't invited??

Appalling behaviour. I really hate it that in this day and age people behave this.

IAmTheLogLady · 10/05/2025 16:37

That's so horrible. How long have you been there ?