Team day out without me

[Ereerenownow]

Have just seen on social media that my entire team have been taken out as a treat by our manager. He has taken them to a local seaside resort for ice creams and general fun. I haven't been invited and didn't know anything about it. I'm the only one not there. We were all in the office yesterday and not a single person mentioned it.

That’s awful. Do you have a HR dept? I would be taking this to them because it would count as workplace bullying

If it was a colleague not much you could do but this was your manager in a work capacity so it is absolutely not on. Definitely take it further.

Besides the point. If its a team event (and especially if it's going through expenses, which I bet it is) everyone should be invited. End of.

Awful behaviour.

Is it a small business? Do they say shit like “we’re all one big family”?

Very poor behaviour from the manager and team. I feel very sorry for you.

Are you going to acknowledge that you know?

This but I would also get revenge.

In that case - ACAS.

Its not nice. The people doing the excluding wont be thinking about it much at all.

the people who are excluded, will be thinking about it.

this happened to me in one workplace and i brought up the issue.

And then i actually Regretted bringing it up.

My manager and colleagues said as its outside work hours they can socialise with who they want in their social time.

After i brought it up, i realised i didnt want to go to a place with people who didnt want me there anyway.

I made friends with people in another department who were much nicer

Awful behaviour @Ereerenownow. Id be looking for another job asap. Your current colleagues and boss sound awful. x

I think either speaking to your manager, or going to HR. This seems to be deliberate exclusion, not say arranging it when you are on holiday, for example.

Could he argue that its his social time and he can hang out with who he wants outside of work hours?

When this happened to me in one job, thats what my manager said to me

That's really besides the point. It is bullying and exclusion by ACAS's definition to leave one person out of a team social event. It's even worse that it has been done by the manager.

Where I worked, there there were a few people that didn't socialise with colleagues and kept themselves to themselves but whenever there was a team meal, event or day out, they would always be invited. They would usually decline but they had the opportunity to attend. Some of them could be litigious, so would definitely have raised this as an issue with HR if they weren't invited.

I would find another job but the day you hand your notice in, answer your phone in front of everyone and accept a call saying you have a massive inheritance.

Shitty trick they played there. They should be ashamed of themselves.

@Ereerenownow is there a manager above that manager or an HR?? i would definitely lodge a bullying/discrimination against them!

Are you 100% confident you haven’t missed an email about this? Just seems so idiotic to be so public about excluding someone like this.

Even if she has missed an email, surely the OPs manager, and/or colleagues would have spoken to her about the event?

OP you have been posting about the weird dynamic at work and being excluded since December.

How is the job hunting going? Because if this job is as toxic as you say it is, you must be looking for another job, right? However, the silly stuff about refusing to say when your birthday is won't be helping your situation.

Oh and take screenshots now before you say anything because they will do arse covering.

Looking at your posting history about them, I’m not surprised. They sound awful.

I would be looking elsewhere for a job. How long is your secondment? Any chance to go back to the original team?

Well, I'd take this as a gift. I dislike forced jollity, team days are my idea of hell on earth, and cliques are anathema to me. (So maybe I am a curmudegeon, but the plus-side of that is that you'll never find me harming a colleague or engaging in toxic gossip about anyone else).

But I do know that not everyone is like me, and I well remember how isolating and unpleasant it was to be the one ostracised in this way when I was much younger and hadn't yet run out of fucks. Professionalism and basic courtesy are the minimum you should be entitled to expect. These colleagues are affording you neither, quite aside from their decision to socialise without you.

It sounds as though you're being managed out, and your workplace made so intolerable to you that you take the decision to move on. It's cowardly, childish, bullying behaviour and YANBU to be upset.

I'd arm yourself with some noise cancelling headphones, turn up and do your job, and comfort yourself with the knowledge that these are not people with whom you'd voluntarily socialise anyway.

It's not you. It's them. 🌹

May gulls shit on their chips.

Can you end the secondment and go back to your old job?

Imagine wasting your free Saturday with your manager, unpaid - fools!

This is a type of workplace bullying and your workplace should be taking clear action. There are lots of case law examples of this, some with very large amounts of compensation.

If your HR don’t take action I would contact ACAS.

What ive learned in life is :

If some one doesnt want you to go somewhere with them , them you should not want to be with them either.

Meaning that they will be bad company for you and you will be better off away from them

The key thing is a) is today a work day, and b) is it going through expenses.
Colleagues can meet in the weekend, and a manager can buy most of hid team an ice cream as long as its not a work event and he pays privately!
Not nice, but not bullying.
Worktime and/or expenses - very different!

She said its not a work day x