Team day out without me

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Have just seen on social media that my entire team have been taken out as a treat by our manager. He has taken them to a local seaside resort for ice creams and general fun. I haven't been invited and didn't know anything about it. I'm the only one not there. We were all in the office yesterday and not a single person mentioned it.

About 6 years ago my current team went on a weekend to Prague (inaugural flight route from our local tiny airport).

Normally my regular boss would have probably intervened if she caught wind of it but she’d just gone on maternity leave and the next “most timed served” senior wannabe offered to “step up” to look after the shop until a replacement (him) was formally appointed.

Horrible op. I would call it out. The others going along with it are as bad. Its hurtful.

What an absolute arsehole he is. This is straight up exclusionary behaviour, which is bullying in anyone’s book. I’d be tempted to message one of the colleagues on the trip to say I am gutted to not be invited but it’s probably better to raise a grievance with HR as this being the final straw and see if you can negotiate a payoff to leave. Threaten them with taking it further if you have to.

Not nice at all, try to find out why you have been ostracised.
I personally wouldn't want to meet up with any of my colleagues, especially over the weekend for an ice cream jolly🙄.
There is definitely more going on behind your back unfortunately.

Well he was wrong. If you were the only one left out and the whole team went at the behest of the manager and kept quiet about it, it’s workplace bullying.

OP- have your colleagues mentioned it to you? Were they not surprised you weren’t included.
it reminds me of the thread where a worker had been there for years and gave generously when the hat was handed round to collect for birthdays, but hers was forgotten.
It’s incredibly hurtful and isolating to be left out. Hope you do speak out or it will fester and eat away at you.

Nope. Doesn’t matter. One person left out and everyone else keeping quiet. It’s straight up bullying in the workplace.

OP says she's worked for the company for 5 years, 2 years in her current team.

Hi i actually have been out a few times with them, mainly, to be honest, so I wasn't accused of refusing social events and ostracising myself . Not recently as I didn't think anything was organised but possibly there have been social things happening and I've been missed out.

Nope, no one mentioned it to me x

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

So definitely actionable. HR if she has one and take it from there along with advice from ACAS as appropriate.

I think I'd either approach a friendly team member to see if they knew why you weren't invited or HR as its bullying, you wouldn't do this to others so its not acceptable for it to happen to you.So sorry, a toxic workplace is really difficult to navigate. Hope you get a resolution.

Seconded? From where and why so long? Might this be a budget issue? Ie the organisation that employs you not paying for these jollys for you? Do you know what the t&cs are? Bit crap it was t mentioned to you though. I don’t think this is as simple a case as PPs suggest re exclusion and bullying if you aren’t in fact an employee.

I would say this is actually an issue I would take up with HR, I would ask to speak to someone on Monday and ask for support to attend a meeting with your manager and lay this out. This is workplace bullying even if it happened outside of work imo.

If he had invited a few people he is close to in the team, that's different. Anytime, where everyone is included bar one is exclusion. Exclusion is bullying.

Is there any thing different about you to rest of team eg age/ religion - ie I wonder if there is some discrimination going on? If not it’s just downright bullying. Your company will surely have a policy against this if you wanted to put in writing to HR.

That was one case, and it made the news because it was such a rare event. That someone got damages for being excluded.

Im not saying the boss is right. I didnt even say that he would win a legal case if she brought a legal case against him.

I ssid that he could argue in court that he is allowed to socialise with who he wants outside of work hours.

OP could also argue from her side that there has been exclusion.

Its up to the court to decide then

Even if this team is a long established friendship group, for the manager of the team to arrange a team day out and invite everyone except OP is bullying by exclusion according to ACAS and, as other posters have said, there is case law about this sort of scenario and the claimant won.

The day out sounds shit! Would you want to spend a whole day with people that dont really like you?

Work can be just for work.

Id hate to go for a day out with my colleagues.

Please don't let them get away with this. Bullies always escalate unless stopped. I really feel for you. Sending moral support and hugs

It’s not acceptable to exclude one member of the team. And it sounds like this day out was an extension of the workplace.

take screenshots, take notes, speak to HR.

overall it doesn’t sound like a healthy working environment for you. And while you might be in the right, in my experience you are best to move on rather that stay and fight. No one ever wins and these things can take over your life. And you are worth much more than that.

i have seen people dedicate years of their lives to getting ‘justice’. But it never resolved itself that way.

I'm usually a quiet person, don't add ripples to a pond... etc. But on this I'd go all in... in a BIG way. "Dear Manager (cc'd to all others), I'd delighted you had a good day out. Given I've been part of the team for x months, is there a reason why I was not included in the invitation?"

But not being invited to join is the issue.

It seems this was a social event with the whole team being invited bar the OP. That is unacceptable, especially as I think we can assume everyone going, knew OP wasn't invited.

Deliberately excluding someone is disgraceful behaviour.