Team day out without me

[Ereerenownow]

Have just seen on social media that my entire team have been taken out as a treat by our manager. He has taken them to a local seaside resort for ice creams and general fun. I haven't been invited and didn't know anything about it. I'm the only one not there. We were all in the office yesterday and not a single person mentioned it.

Hi thank you all for your kind messages. I have posted several times on this forum about the issues I'm having at work as it mostly feels like a safe place to talk about my concerns. Iam definitely looking for another job but I have a specialist role which I worked hard to get and there aren't too many options out there. I can't go back to my old team unfortunately as its essentially been disbanded and everyone scattered to different departments. I love my job so I do try to zone out everything else, just sometimes it does get a bit much xx

@maythefirce you are entirely wrong, it doesn’t matter if it is outside of work and the boss is personally paying. The employer still has a duty of care to its staff and you can’t exclude one person.

I’d be going over his head to complain. You should also keep a diary of times when he has treated you poorly. You need to complain to HR, he is a shit manager.

That’s awful. Please report this to HR. It’s completely unacceptable behaviour.

That's what I thought. They sound unpleasant but could just have organised a day out "with friends" and Billy-Big-Baws, the manager, is making a big deal of paying for everyone's ice cream?

Its not about opinions though.

I think legally he could argue that it is his social time not work time.

Ouch!! It would have taken some organising to get everyone on board too.

I think I would not mention it and start job hunting. To exclude only one person is awful.

Shocked to read that, must have felt horrible

@florasl outside work you can. Nobody is forced to hang out with all your colleagues outside work.
What they can’t do is make a massive thing put of it at work and point out to the op that she wasn’t invited. But they kept is quiet and outside work!

Hugs, OP. That really is awful.

It's still bullying by ACAS's definition for one person to be excluded from a social event, even if it's a social event outside work time. In this case, it has been organised and paid for by OP's manager who has failed to invite her.

It’s bullying in the workplace OP. And I would let your manager know that you know, and that you consider it to be bullying. How long have you been there because if you have over two years service it’s actionable. If it’s bullying because of a protected characteristic like disability, race, sex or religion it’s actionable from the start of employment.

No, you are completely legally incorrect and there is a significant amount of case law about this.

Leher vs Asper awarded the claimant £74k when she was excluded by colleagues from an informal social event organised by colleagues outside work, she was older than her colleagues (somewhat like OP being younger than her colleagues).

That’s really awful OP- I’m so sorry. Regardless of whether you get on with the team or manager if it was a team reward then you should have at least been invited - if you have contributed to the teams work then you deserve the reward too.

i would however tread carefully with this one - if the trip was on a non working day and they say it’s a social event not an official work event then it might be tricky. I’m in no way saying what they have done is okay - it’s not- but in my work place this form of bullying and exclusion has been justified by the event being organised outside of work and work deciding that they dictate who people spend their free time with. In my opinion it doesn’t matter if it was an official work even or not - the impact on the person who was excluded is the same regardless.

It’s still bullying. The entire team was invited and OP was the only one left out. Doesn’t matter whether it was outside of work or not, or whether they kept quiet or not. She found out, so now she can action it as appropriate.

Bullying in the workforce. Be brave and confront him.

Actually the fact it's not in work time/on work premises and whether it's expensed or not is irrelevant and not what an Employment Tribunal would look at to decide if it was bullying (or discriminatory where that might be a factor). I had a case where it was obvious a person was deliberately being left out of after work social events due to her age and race and it was pretty awful to handle. The reality is she probably wouldn't have gone anyway but it was not inviting her that was the issue.

The issue is whether the event in question is taking place predominately due to the one thing they have in common - which is working together. The comment from the Manager goes to show it's him/her recognising the team. If they were not talking about it in the office it seems obvious they were keeping it secret in advance. If there are examples of other exclusions o bad treatment, the employer would be on dodgy grounds.

OP, only you know what if anything you are prepared to do about this. If there is an HR team ask for some advice and/or call ACAS to explore your options. But if there is 'history' here as other posters are suggesting, maybe it is time to just get out of that team or organisation.

HR here and we would definitely want to know about this. There is existing case law that covers social events outside of work and a tribunal found that an employee excluded from after work drinks was unfairly victimised.

A slippery manager will try to argue it is socialising outside of work but that argument looks more flimsy if the entire team were there but not OP. It's different if a couple of people from the team who are friends outside of work spend time together socially but if the manager has taken the rest of the team but excluded OP then that could easily be argued as bullying.

@Ereerenownow does your work have an HR department? I would start logging everything.... screenshots, take notes and and would discuss this with them.

This is undoubtedly shit behaviour on the part of your manager and colleagues, OP. I am very sorry.

I think you need expert advice on whether it is a matter you can justifiably complain about. The last thing we want is for you to raise an issue that, in the impartial eyes of ACAS and the law, can be dismissed.

I hope you do have a concrete case and not just a moral one. Please do contact ACAS to find out.

Make sure you have screenshots of things like this. It’s a bit hard to prove anything if they’re all mates and meet up outside of work, but by saying he’s treating the team here he’s acknowledging that it’s a work thing.

That's one for HR, clearly

Ostracization

Have you ever been out with your colleagues socially OP? My guess is you don't like to go to these things and they have stopped asking.

From th op‘s other posts, the group is a long established friendship group. They aren’t just work colleagues but share loads after work from what i understand. From all we know the team is this context is their pub quiz team.
A shit situation, but not necessarily bullying.
A group of colleagues who only meet at work, and ta about the event ag work - definitely bullying.
Here - not necessarily. i would be careful with bullying claims (unless they bring it up at work - that would make it bullying)

I would suggest contacting ACAS if you feel that strongly about it to see where you stand.

From personal experience, I wouldn’t speak to HR. I’ve had two occasions of speaking to HR about concerns I had, and both occasions, I was forced out (one HR lady even replied to my sexual harassment concerns whereby I was receiving unwanted dick pics, to advise the guy had issues with cocaine and so it was probably an error on his part - despite receiving them multiple times!).

If you haven't already keep a file - log everything as it happens. Screen shot this day out and the comments. You being able to see it - seems like a further insult to injury. Are you in a union - if not join one. If there is not one for your specific industry there are ones that cover a variety f sectors UNISON/
/ GMB Union:
Community (Community Union)
I would email and ask why you were the only member not invited and get a written reply. If he/she asks to speak to you - say you wish to record the conversation for your own records so there can be no dispute about what was said at a later date.
I would at this stage keep quiet about the union so they don't try and do any cover up.
They are awful and it is good you have friends outside of work