It’s a LOTR one. I feel so upset over my DHs comment about elves.

[UnhappyHobbit]

Name change for this one as it’s slightly outing.

My DH is a huge lord of the rings fan. When my DH and I first got together, he used to “lovingly” joke that I was his hobbit. I’m only 5’3” and I do dress quite quirky so I took it as a compliment. It soon became a bit of a pet name for me and as he’s short too, I likened him to a dwarf.

Over the weekend, We were at one of his friend’s house and he has a relatively new girlfriend. Their kitchen /lounge is slightly open plan so I could hear slightly the conversation my DH was having with his friends. All of his friends are lotr fans and this new gf in the group is very tall. DHs friend was bragging that he had finally managed to pull an elf. My DH exclaimed that it was every man’s dream to pull an elf… One of DHs friends said I thought it was your dream to pull a hobbit, my pet name is known to his friends. DH said he wouldn’t touch a hobbit with those big and hairy feet.

I felt so defeated over this. He has called me a hobbit for years, affectionately so I thought.

I approached him about this after the party and he said that the whole hobbit thing was him teasing me because I’m short. He didn’t want to bring this up as, in his words “I made hobbit my whole personality”. We argued and I said, why is he with me if his dream is someone very tall and well the opposite to me.!? We haven’t spoken since and I’m wondering if I’m over reacting.

Aibu for being devastated and embarrassed by this?

You’ve never watched The Big Bang theory then?

I'm sorry OP. It's a bit harsh when you are upset and wearing your heart on your sleeve and then people start ridiculing you. What he said was arrogant, thoughtless and mean. His lack of proper apology is also of a similarly disrespectful and uncaring attitude. I can see why you are upset. I hope he reflects and improves

God you’re right. I apologise. I will immediately go and throw myself into a fiery chasm from whence I came!

Well it’s way past his bed time and it’s a school day tomorrow. He is 12 isn’t he?
Because a man chattering on about elves, hobbits etc as if they matter is deeply unattractive.

And there was me thinking that elves were beautiful but exceptionally cold and rather aloof, whereas hobbits were short but your best friend, loyal to the bitterest end, never let you down and were exceptional at making you feel comfortable and at home.

In shag, marry, avoid LOTR version with elves, hobbits and humans what would you do?

Just tell him an elf would not go out with a dwarf.

Can't believe how much of a knob everyone is being. Just because OP likes lord of the rings.

Lots of adults have 'special interests' mine is currently motorways.

Very bitchy of everyone.

Hope you're OK, OP. I'd have been hurt too.

If your husband called you an alien with 17 heads you wouldn’t argue you weren’t as it’s a ridiculous thing to say. Can I suggest you feel a little intimidated by the new gf and are reading meaning into his words hence no longer feeling being nick named a hobbit is cute. You don’t need to argue that you’re not a real hobbit as that’s silly but your meaning and your own feeling about the meaning has changed and not his.

You clearly don't know enough nerds.

(This isn't really my cup of tea as it's on the weird end, but I know people like this and have to be able to hold a conversation about shit like this. Believe me it's better than dungeons and dragons talk and multi sided dice - no I have never played before you ask).

You could just dump him OP? @UnhappyHobbit

Take a break from LOTR and read Terry Pratchett’s ‘Lords and Ladies’ instead. You won’t want to be an elf after that 😊

Ouch.

Dwarves. Notoriously shallow and grumpy and were corrupted by Sauron into being greedy leading them to mine too deep at Moria which ended in the fall of the dwarven kingdom when they unleashed a balrog.

Yes indeedy. Call him a dwarf. It's not a compliment.

Can you please file this in the LOTR area so we can find it properly. Thanks.

Wtf is this 🤣

This is not what it means op.

‘Please both grow up soon!! This is madness.

It sounds like he's jealous of his friend for pulling a conventionally 'hot' woman. He settled for you because he knows he's no Aragorn, but if a woman his mates admired showed any interest in him, he'd leave you for her.

I'd guess he spoke about you the way he did because he was feeling resentful. His friend mentioning that you were a hobbit will have set him off because in his mind, all his friends are laughing at him. He's got a short and homely hobbit type, and his mate has 'got' an elf. You've wounded his ego.

You were supposed to try and transform yourself into more of an Arwen. Or at least stop reminding men you're the hobbit type. Be good arm candy and make the lads jealous.

Sorry, OP. I'd think twice about him.

Sorry is the script for yet another geek inspired sitcom? Grown men likening their partners to characters from a book/film? And having conversations about that? I think the world has finally gone mad. Next you'll be telling me the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42 (I bet most of you are way too young to get that reference)

Exactly - but she says in their relationship she’s characterised as a Hobbit and he as a Dwarf (because she said he’s short too).

I mean, she could go and revenge cheat on him with an Orc, but it could backfire if she discovers he’s into cuckolding 😂

I’m a nerd. I like LOTR. A lot. But I don’t have genre pet names which I overly invest myself in to point it becomes my identity and I take offence when someone makes a nerd joke. I would have made the same joke.
I suggest OP uses this opportunity to assess whether her interest is turning into something unhealthy.

This thread has made me feel sad about mumsnet for the first time in a long time. People being snooty about someone else’s interest and way of being, for absolutely no reason. It’s mean and narrow minded. Stop it. the playground was a while ago……

I trust you enjoyed this recent programme? https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0029kth

Loved the graphic design/typography lady particularly.

oh dear...

Absolutely agree with the above.
He's a dickhead OP. A total Saurman. And he thinks he's it.

HE is the LOTR obsessive
He gave you the pet name. And made it known to his LOTR friends.
He's overwhelmed by his mates new GF and tells everyone she's his type -in your hearing - when you are very different
Then when you question this, instead of apologising, he rounds on with what I consider to be the absolute worst thing he did.. the mean girl comment that you made Hobbit your whole personality.... Completely out of order, mean and patronising to say that... I think its bloody outrageous and I'd be fuming, and ironically he says this having himself just been ogling some girl and comparing her to an elf at a party of his friends who are all LOTR obsessives too. He's the one who has made this fantasy world his whole personality, not you.. and its something that is more common amongst teenagers (I know several) than adults.

What a self important pompous hypocrite.
I'm betting you've only gone along with all this LOTR stuff to take an interest in his interests. Now he has the cheek to not be speaking to you.

OP - If I was you, I'd never let him call me Hobbit again, there's something so patronising about it. He's doing the same with the mates GF.. calling her an elf. That would give me the ick. And if he wants to be patronising etc... well he's opened a can of worms now hasn't he as he's left himself open to many comments - many of which are already on this thread.

But if he doesn't see how hurtful he's been and apologise profusely.. you may have to rethink if you want to be treated like this in future. What a manchild.

Ps.. just to mention that my DC was given a poster of Aragorn at their birthday party and all the mums there were asking if they could have it. 😂

Have you not read any other threads?!?!

What in the Mordor did I just read???