It’s a LOTR one. I feel so upset over my DHs comment about elves.

[UnhappyHobbit]

Name change for this one as it’s slightly outing.

My DH is a huge lord of the rings fan. When my DH and I first got together, he used to “lovingly” joke that I was his hobbit. I’m only 5’3” and I do dress quite quirky so I took it as a compliment. It soon became a bit of a pet name for me and as he’s short too, I likened him to a dwarf.

Over the weekend, We were at one of his friend’s house and he has a relatively new girlfriend. Their kitchen /lounge is slightly open plan so I could hear slightly the conversation my DH was having with his friends. All of his friends are lotr fans and this new gf in the group is very tall. DHs friend was bragging that he had finally managed to pull an elf. My DH exclaimed that it was every man’s dream to pull an elf… One of DHs friends said I thought it was your dream to pull a hobbit, my pet name is known to his friends. DH said he wouldn’t touch a hobbit with those big and hairy feet.

I felt so defeated over this. He has called me a hobbit for years, affectionately so I thought.

I approached him about this after the party and he said that the whole hobbit thing was him teasing me because I’m short. He didn’t want to bring this up as, in his words “I made hobbit my whole personality”. We argued and I said, why is he with me if his dream is someone very tall and well the opposite to me.!? We haven’t spoken since and I’m wondering if I’m over reacting.

Aibu for being devastated and embarrassed by this?

I'm a massive LOTR fan. I'm also a fan of reading AIBU threads, especially lurking on relationship ones. I think I'm going to save this thread and read it all and I hope it becomes one of my favourites of all time. 😆

Oh and Op, don't worry too much; my DH calls me a hobbit because I DO have hairy feet! Well...toes! I was upset at first but I laugh now. Sometimes men just say things and they don't actually properly think it through. I hope you can get past this, it sounds as though you will. X

I always wanted to own a brace of Irish Wolfhounds called Gandalf and Cadellin.

I always think of the Uruk Hai as being the laddish, university rugby team players of Middle Earth. Burly shoulders, muscley thighs and loads of stupid drinking games.

I though Aragorn was the huge spider from Harry Potter

Nah, Aragog was a rip off of Shelob/Ungoliant (a pretty meaty female role in the books, too).

I knew I did not like LOTR at all. Now I know why. It's a pile of 💩. Thank you for this explanation @SamuelDJackson

WTF have I just read? 😳😂

Id forgotton the spider - of course the spider would be female in the Tolkien canon - I missed a whole role, though it fits with all the rest
The evil, ever-hungry spider, spinning webs and making traps, sly and decitful in the shadows, lurking to catch unsuspecting prey, poisoning but not quite killing them, leaving them to rot and sucking them dry
Classic femme fatale/evil temptress role (though with no seduction element)

😂😂.

I see! Being a bloke spider he wouldn't have fitted in to LOTR.

In a bit of a defence of JRR, he seems from all I've read to be quite a decent man, although obviously of his time and very much affected as many were by his service in WW1. Long, happy marriage which had a bit of a Romeo and Juliet start and he relocated to Bournemouth from his beloved Oxford on retirement purely to make his wife happy.

Apparently he did intend to have Eowyn and Aragorn end up together but changed his mind as he felt A was "too old, too lordly and too grim" for her (obviously, Viggo wouldn't have been!) I think her transformation into a healer from a warrior might be a reflection of his own experience of warfare. He believed that self defence was necessary but did not glorify it or diminish the horrors. Maybe he genuinely saw Eowyn's later chosen role as more worthy, not because she was a woman but because it is better to heal than to kill.

Just my thoughts and probably totally wrong!

And in defence of female spiders in literature:

"It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both."

(You can all start sobbing now).

Thank you for all the helpful replies. I am so pleased to see the LOTR fans hanging out at the end of this thread and I don’t think we will take much notice of those who mock us.

I spoke to my DH about it and he has apologised and understands how I’m feeling the way I am. I guess he’s just had to settle for a hobbit and I best keep my eyes peeled for any elven folk that come his way 😂

Glad you're OK @UnhappyHobbit and thanks for being patient and understanding of the massive derail!

If you've never read him, Alan Garner. Fabulous.

So glad you have talked to him and are feeling a bit better
It seems trivial but sometimes the weirdest things can hit a raw nerve

Remember: hes not settling for a hobbit:
Hes just lucky that he met a lovely lady like you who shares his interests

And thanks for the patience with the derailing, I rather adore LOTR despite all my critiques

Remember: hes not settling for a hobbit:
Hes just lucky that he met a lovely lady like you who shares his interests

This, 100%