It’s a LOTR one. I feel so upset over my DHs comment about elves.

[UnhappyHobbit]

Name change for this one as it’s slightly outing.

My DH is a huge lord of the rings fan. When my DH and I first got together, he used to “lovingly” joke that I was his hobbit. I’m only 5’3” and I do dress quite quirky so I took it as a compliment. It soon became a bit of a pet name for me and as he’s short too, I likened him to a dwarf.

Over the weekend, We were at one of his friend’s house and he has a relatively new girlfriend. Their kitchen /lounge is slightly open plan so I could hear slightly the conversation my DH was having with his friends. All of his friends are lotr fans and this new gf in the group is very tall. DHs friend was bragging that he had finally managed to pull an elf. My DH exclaimed that it was every man’s dream to pull an elf… One of DHs friends said I thought it was your dream to pull a hobbit, my pet name is known to his friends. DH said he wouldn’t touch a hobbit with those big and hairy feet.

I felt so defeated over this. He has called me a hobbit for years, affectionately so I thought.

I approached him about this after the party and he said that the whole hobbit thing was him teasing me because I’m short. He didn’t want to bring this up as, in his words “I made hobbit my whole personality”. We argued and I said, why is he with me if his dream is someone very tall and well the opposite to me.!? We haven’t spoken since and I’m wondering if I’m over reacting.

Aibu for being devastated and embarrassed by this?

Do you have big hairy feet? Have you made being a hobbit your whole personality?

You both need to grow up.

How long have you been married for?

I really want to try and reply seriously to this but I just can’t do it.

Oh my God, I am sooooo confused by this post.

This cannot be real surely?

🤣

It is real and no I don’t have hairy feet.
I just can’t help feeling a little betrayed that he would prefer someone different to me that’s all.

Oh dear. How old are you?

It sounds like your H just insulted you to his friends. Not pleasant at all! What did he mean about you making it your whole personality?

Does he have any redeeming features?

How long have you been together?

my dp is not my typical type nor am I his.

however, we are both grown up enough to know that we love each other, spark off each other and fancy each other as an entire person.

also… WTF? Seriously. It’s make believe and you are both being daft.

You must realise how childish this all sounds?

LTHH (leave the hobbit hater)

This is exactly how I feel!
I don’t think I’ve made it my whole personality. I thought it was just a cute pet name and I’ve bought mugs with hobbits on and like painting them.

I tried for several minutes to formulate a response to this OP but …

Nope. The well, it runneth dry.

It does sound like he told his friends that you weren't his type, and he could never truly love someone that is your type. Which is cruel.

“Only 5’3”?

you do realise that’s smack bang average for a woman. Neither tall nor short.

so the whole hobbit thing is ridiculous based on that alone. You’re not small.

People need to look past the whole LOTR thing here. Essentially OP’s partner has always told her that he finds her height an attractive quality and then she overhears him telling a mate that taller women are more attractive and it’s his dream to pull one. I don’t know many women who would not care less that their husband openly discusses what kind of women they want to pull.

Tell him he's bloody lucky to have pulled Rosie Cotton. I'll bet he's no Thorin Oakenshield.

Well that’s one halfling that wont be riding Gandalf’s staff for a while. Smaug git who does he think he is? Upsetting his precious like that?

My husband is a huge LOTR fan and I just asked him which he would rather pull. A dwarf, a hobbit or an elf. He said a hobbit. I asked why. He said because they’re nice and homely and just generally seem really nice. I said would you not rather a nice tall beautiful elf? He said na they seem quite stuck up. I’m tall and actually have fairly pointy ears. But I’m not offended! My two favourite actors that I fancy the pants off look nothing like him! I love him for him. And he loves me for me.

Agreed! I meet so many women who say “oh I’m a short arse, I’m tiny, I’m only 5ft 4”
That’s only an inch shorter than my very average 5ft 5. It does annoy me

Sometimes, there are just no words….

You are not alone. I understand the upset is genuine but I just can't.

I’m lost. Are you all big LOTR enthusiasts?

he says he doesn’t like hobbits. You aren’t a hobbit. Unless you identify as one I really don’t see the problem