It’s a LOTR one. I feel so upset over my DHs comment about elves.

[UnhappyHobbit]

Name change for this one as it’s slightly outing.

My DH is a huge lord of the rings fan. When my DH and I first got together, he used to “lovingly” joke that I was his hobbit. I’m only 5’3” and I do dress quite quirky so I took it as a compliment. It soon became a bit of a pet name for me and as he’s short too, I likened him to a dwarf.

Over the weekend, We were at one of his friend’s house and he has a relatively new girlfriend. Their kitchen /lounge is slightly open plan so I could hear slightly the conversation my DH was having with his friends. All of his friends are lotr fans and this new gf in the group is very tall. DHs friend was bragging that he had finally managed to pull an elf. My DH exclaimed that it was every man’s dream to pull an elf… One of DHs friends said I thought it was your dream to pull a hobbit, my pet name is known to his friends. DH said he wouldn’t touch a hobbit with those big and hairy feet.

I felt so defeated over this. He has called me a hobbit for years, affectionately so I thought.

I approached him about this after the party and he said that the whole hobbit thing was him teasing me because I’m short. He didn’t want to bring this up as, in his words “I made hobbit my whole personality”. We argued and I said, why is he with me if his dream is someone very tall and well the opposite to me.!? We haven’t spoken since and I’m wondering if I’m over reacting.

Aibu for being devastated and embarrassed by this?

Orlando/Legolas was an elf and Aragon was human. Idk kili.
Maybe op should call her dh a dwarf or ork then.

Now we have LOTR fetish 🧝‍♀️🧝‍♂️

I'm short and have always been quite curvy - my DH has always said he finds me beautiful and exactly his "type". If I heard him saying to his friends that his dream woman would be tall and willowy I would be quite upset. YANBU.

Maybe op should call her dh a dwarf or ork then.

Is that where “dork” comes from?
Mind Blown!

I would be hurt by that too OP. Take away The Lord of The Rings thing and he's basically saying he finds a completely different type of woman to you more attractive. And worse that he wouldn't be attracted to your 'type'. It's cruel, insensitive and unnecessary. Also don't know why people are being dicks to you on here about it, saying things like 'I'm at a loss' and 'have no words', well don't fucking reply then, it's not compulsory!

OP, if it makes you feel better…

DP and I are big LOTR fans and rewatch the films fairly frequently. I had my hair in a topknot once and he told me I looked like Lurtz. Every time I have it in a topknot now, he asks if I’m going to find the halflings. I laugh because it’s funny, and I know he doesn’t actually think I look like an Uruk-hai.

He also makes no secret of how much he fancies Miranda Otto and Karl Urban whenever we watch it.

Get a grip 😂

Thank you for this. I know it sounds petty to some and I do welcome feedback from all but I’m really taken aback by it.

Mate absolutely with you on that one he is so easy on the eye I only willingly sat through Shang-Chi and the legend of the ten rings for him my DH actually thought I was really enjoying the film.

Oh :( I feel like that was really unkind, that friend almost seemed to be bringing you up in a kind way, and he could have just said something affirming of you. To me I'd feel like he'd compared me negatively to the new girl in the group and that's harsh. Also a bit mean about how he's then critical of you leaning in to your nickname from him...maybe that was him being defensive ..but he's not been a good guy here, not shown loyalty. How are things generally?

I think he’s been extremely elfish.

Seriously op it’s just a cute nickname she’s that was just a jokey conversation with his mate.

Yanbu, I'd feel the same in your place op.

(As it happens my dh does quite resemble an elf, and I married him and made two beautiful half elf children. So I get it.)

I also think your dh accusing you of making hobbit your whole personality is very ironic considering he seems to live and breathe lotr.

Well, imagine how I feel at 5ft 2" when women of 5ft 6" and above complain about how short they are.

Get tae fuck, you giraffes.

Elves and hobbits and dwarfs, oh my!

Sorry but this has given me the absolute ick. It’s like a cringey storyline from The Big Bang Theory.

Were you both a bit moody because you hadn't had second breakfast?

what??! This is mad.

Idk whether that's where "dork" comes from, but LOTR is certainly where dorks gravitate to. Maybe the OP should hang out with some normal people and get some perspective: dream girl might be an "elf" (not generally a compliment AFAIK) but if she's into this embarassing kids' fantasy stuff she's just another dork.

I very much doubt he meant its everyone's dream to pull an elf because they're the tallest of the characters. Men don't universally agree their dream is a tall woman, do they? He meant its everyone's dream because the elves are the most beautiful of the characters. Doesn't mean he finds you less attractive because of your height.

I think you’re overreacting OP, it sounds like some silly jokey fun chatter that you’re taking far too seriously. Are you really not speaking over this, that’s so over the top, just laugh about it, it’s all very silly when you think about it logically.

You overheard him saying he didn't like big and hairy feet.

You claim not to have big and hairy feet.

Sorry, how many hobbit mugs have you painted?

The comment about making the nickname your whole personality sounds a bit harsh, unless you've filled the house with hobbit mugs and opened an Etsy shop selling them?

stop reading and noticing the ONLY post that agree with you.

If he didn't fancy you, he wouldn't be with you. Simple.

Your nickname started between you 2 as a private joke, you don't actually expect him to fancy an ACTUAL hobbit? You do know what they supposedly look like?

You have a nickname based on a your height, it's private. He doesn't fancy "real" hobbits and all their characteristics.

You are being ridiculous to be offended here.

Aragorn in LOTR is…😍

It just sounds like stupid chat to me, that you weren’t meant to hear.

I don’t think I could think of a bloke less attractive than one who was right into LOTR mind you!…

I get it. Forget the LOTR stuff, and pretend OP's bloke has been calling her "kitten" all this time. Kittens are delighful and loved by all, so it's a nice thing to call her. Then she overhears a conversation where someone says "John's new girlfriend is so tall and graceful, like a giraffe" and DP says "Yeah, everyone wants to pull a giraffe". One of his mates, knowing what he calls OP, says "but you fancy kittens!" and he says, " nah, kittens are crap. Wouldn't touch one with a 10-foot-pole. Squeaky, annoying little things, shit in people's gardens, and scag all your clothes. It's giraffes all the way for me!" He can't have forgotten what he calls OP as a term of endearment, and that's what he is slagging off. It's pretty mean.

(My dog is called Frodo and I recently listened to the LOTR audiobook. Took me until the end of FOTR before I had managed to uncouple the name from the dog, and I know damn well where I got the name from!)

Tell him to hobbit….I’d rather be left on the ‘elf than put up with that!