It’s a LOTR one. I feel so upset over my DHs comment about elves.

[UnhappyHobbit]

Name change for this one as it’s slightly outing.

My DH is a huge lord of the rings fan. When my DH and I first got together, he used to “lovingly” joke that I was his hobbit. I’m only 5’3” and I do dress quite quirky so I took it as a compliment. It soon became a bit of a pet name for me and as he’s short too, I likened him to a dwarf.

Over the weekend, We were at one of his friend’s house and he has a relatively new girlfriend. Their kitchen /lounge is slightly open plan so I could hear slightly the conversation my DH was having with his friends. All of his friends are lotr fans and this new gf in the group is very tall. DHs friend was bragging that he had finally managed to pull an elf. My DH exclaimed that it was every man’s dream to pull an elf… One of DHs friends said I thought it was your dream to pull a hobbit, my pet name is known to his friends. DH said he wouldn’t touch a hobbit with those big and hairy feet.

I felt so defeated over this. He has called me a hobbit for years, affectionately so I thought.

I approached him about this after the party and he said that the whole hobbit thing was him teasing me because I’m short. He didn’t want to bring this up as, in his words “I made hobbit my whole personality”. We argued and I said, why is he with me if his dream is someone very tall and well the opposite to me.!? We haven’t spoken since and I’m wondering if I’m over reacting.

Aibu for being devastated and embarrassed by this?

I, too, am a huge LOTR fan.

If you don't really believe he wants a hobbit (ears, hairy feet, very short) why would you seriously believe he wants an elf?

Sounds like a harmless joke about fictional characters amongst friends.

My partner knows I'm only settling for him until Henry Cavill comes to sweep me off my feet. But really we both know it's just a joke..

People are being dicks to the OP. Ignore the hobbit/Elf thing and look at the underlying message. OP has overheard her husband basically say she's never been his type and that he'd love to bag someone who's the opposite of her. It's disrespectful and rude.

I think my partner would be a little overwhelmed if I got really into a cute nickname he gave me and started painting them and things like that. He'd see it as kind of... regressive?

I’m trying to formulate a response but I’m at a loss.

I would like to know why he would like to pull an elf when he is a dwarf? I feel there would be incompatible sizing issues.

why are you all so invested in LOTR?

You're not even short!

Imagine grown men talking about actual women like they're characters from a fantasy novel. That's what would annoy me. They sound like immature teen boys. It's actually a little pathetic.

Well let’s face it we’ve all been there.

Fucking Elves.

And I thought mediaeval cosplay was bad.

Mate, I would love to pull Simu Liu, but my husband doesn't fret over not being a six foot tall Chinese man with insane abs.

Height doesn’t matter when you’re lying down.

Apart from that, I’ve got nothing.

But also this. I'd cool it with the Hobbit mugs, etc.

Kili would.

Seems hypocritical of him to say you've made being a hobbit your whole personality, when he's spending his spare time hanging out with other LOTR obsessives and is clearly deeply immersed in it all himself. Who was the first one with this interest, him or you? If it was him, I would find another interest quick smart and leave him to this one.

It’s good you name changed OP as no one will be able to identify you now based on your highly generic and not at all unique story….🤔

Well, he's a dwarf so maybe you need to say it's your dream to pull a dark elf!

This - why is a grown man so obsessed with LOTR?!

If you are not a fan I'd leave this fantasist and wish him good luck finding his elf

Exactly! Galadriel has the whole ice maiden thing going... but Rosie can dance.

It never occurred to me that DH is with me because he thinks I'm the most gorgeous creatures he ever laid eyes on. Nor do I think that of him. We just ended up together. Most men on TV are more attractive, he wouldn't be upset if I say l like this man or that. Likewise I'm well aware that many of his colleagues and our neighbours are more attractive than me. Of course we'd rather in theory be with beautiful people but we got each other and I'd like to think there is a lot more to our relationship than looks.

Missing the point of the thread but how has no one mentioned Aragorn?? Wouldn't settle for anything else personally...

I don’t know what or who Kili is. All I remember from LoTR is that Aragon was very fit. I’m not sure if he was an elf. I would def prefer him to Frodo or Orlando bloom with the long white hair.

Elves are beautiful and live much longer. Are they saying the gf is beautiful and you are not? I don’t understand the context of the insult unless it’s a beauty/refinement thing. If so, and they mean and and are not joking, I can see your displeasure.

I think you’re being a bit…Precious 😏

Love how your title is, “It’s a LOTR one”… as if this is a very common Mumsnet problem.

Right up there with the MIL ones.

@LittleLabrador Kilinis a dwarf and yum yes Aragon was fit asf! He was a man of the Dunadan lineage so don’t need to feel silly fancying him haha 😅

Tell him he's an orc