AIBU to be annoyed mum is on holiday over 2nd babys due date?

[Mumblebumble1]

My parents split their time between the UK (40 mins away) and Spain.

My second baby is due on 19th July, they have booked to be in Spain from 3rd -18th July. They booked this since finding out the due date. They book flights around £25 each way, so could easily rearrange but won't.

I'm not really sure now what to do with DS when I go into labour. AIBU to expect my mum to be around to look after DS when I'm in hospital?

Just feeling really let down by my parents!

Have you asked them to be there for you ?

Did you actually ask them to help you with looking after your DS, or just assume they would hang around in case you called them when you were in labour?

Have you even asked them? Not everyone wants help, they aren’t mind readers. Do they normally help you out? Perhaps they have something specific to do then.

I asked a friend when dd2 was born

Don't you have friends or siblings or PIL? A regular babysitter. If you can't find anyone else, your dp can look after ds and bring him to see you after you have delivered.

Your parents are back before the due date. Unless you specifically asked them to be on standby for the two weeks beforehand, and they had specifically said yes, then YABU.

Your new baby is the biggest thing happening in your life this year, but that is not necessarily so for others.

You’re unreasonable to just expect it, yes.

Did you actually ask them?

If you’d like some perspective to make you less pissed off, I’m due on 14th July and my Mum suddenly died 6 weeks ago, so she’s definitely out of the running to look after my DD when I go into labour.
I’ll look after your child if you look after mine 😅

AIBU to expect my mum to be around to look after DS when I'm in hospital?

YABU to expect them to stick around if you've not expressly told them you would need them to babysit.

Did you ask her if she would babysit?

I get people’s logical responses, but my parents would NEVER have done this, and I would never have had to ask.

Did they realise that due date meant any time in July? They have been timing this trip to be back in time...

YABU to expect them to stick around if you've not expressly told asked them you would need them to babysit.

I fixed that for you. You don't tell people to babysit, you ask if they will.

Did they realise their life has to revolve around her

I would be proper pissed off. It's just an odd thing to do?

As others said have you actually asked her to look after him while you are in hospital or did you assume that she would.

What about you dp family can they mind him?

Ah, but you see these days grandparents can't do right for doing wrong. Don't come around - selfish gits. Come around - selfish gits. Babysit - selfish gits. Don't babysit - selfish gits.

You shouldn’t have assumed your parents would do childcare without actually speaking to them first.

YANBU of course but it’s popular on MN to faint at the idea of giving and receiving support from your family (you know, like functional happy families do)

Only on MN it seems 🤷‍♀️

What's the rest of your relationship with them like? I suspect this is the tip of the iceberg but I could be wrong as I'm biased.

My dm deliberately went on holiday when I was due with my first as punishment because I "didn't want" (wasn't allowed) her at the birth.

Did you ask them or just assume big difference

Same here. And I'd also do the same for my daughter.

Does DC1 not have a dad who is involved? surely that would be the most straightforward solution. I (and many friends) had DC2 just with the midwife around whilst out partners looked after older children. It's really isn't a big deal.

I feel for you and I’d be a little surprised if my parents did it.

But the number of threads on here from people saying they don’t want any visitors for the first couple of weeks shows not everyone is on the same page.

I take it your partner isn’t on the scene?

I must say, booking it on those days once they knew the due day does seem quite pointed, unless it’s a genuine oversight.

Have you spoken to them about it?