AIBU to be annoyed mum is on holiday over 2nd babys due date?

[Mumblebumble1]

My parents split their time between the UK (40 mins away) and Spain.

My second baby is due on 19th July, they have booked to be in Spain from 3rd -18th July. They booked this since finding out the due date. They book flights around £25 each way, so could easily rearrange but won't.

I'm not really sure now what to do with DS when I go into labour. AIBU to expect my mum to be around to look after DS when I'm in hospital?

Just feeling really let down by my parents!

It is her mom, I know most grandparents would see a new grandchild is a very big thing. Although yes it would be helpful if they are asked rather than assuming of course.

It is to most people!

Wow, this goes hand in hand with the other thread going on at the moment about grandparents being expected to provide childcare........ do give it a read OP.

Some of the responses on here are just bizarre. Of course you’re disappointed your mom has booked a trip on your due date, no that’s isn’t unreasonable at all. Of course your husband wants to be with you at the birth to support you and see his child be born, although you would think that is strange reading some of these posts 🤣🤣 the only reason I could see for a man not being at the birth of their own child to look after your other children is you have absolutely zero family or friends. That would be a real shame wouldn’t it. Good luck I hope al goes well for you.

I'm the type to sit home and wait for thát phonecall and then rush over to help, but maybe your mom is more laid-back and prefers to arrive once the baby is born and then works magic on your house, cooking and cleaning and going to the playground with your oldest? I don't know what's best. For the hours you spend in hospital you can easily find a friend, your mil, a kind neighbour to look after your child. It's after you come home you'll need more support.

She didn’t book a holiday when she is due?

100% get why you wouldn’t want to give birth alone however I had no choice when DD2 came as none of my family/friends who were on standby to look after DD1 answered the phone!

It was actually a very lovely relaxed birth and I was pleasantly surprised! Of course not every birth goes the same but if you can’t find another solution, it really wasn’t as bad as I was expecting!

Me! Me! Me!

Also the title of your post is a lie. They’re not on holiday over the due date. The due date is the day after they come back.

Given it’s your second child they’re probably not that bothered if it comes early and they miss the birth. It’s more likely than not they’ll be back in time.

And quite frankly might assume you want some breathing space before they come and visit the new arrival.

My friend and her DH looked after my DD when I gave birth to DS. DM lived about eight miles away (not far), but was elderly and disabled, so it was much simpler to leave her with someone who lived just round the corner.

I know that if I had grandchild due I would not go away near the due date. I would want to be close to my child so I could offer any help if needed. Even If I wasn't needed for babysitting, I would want to be close by incase something comes up and my child needed me for anything.

I would also want to be close by so I can meet my grandchild as soon as I'm allowed. Nothing would drag me away.

I am a grandparent and I can't imagine this scenario OP. I really can't understand why any parent wouldn't want to be local to their child who is about to have a baby.

I am sorry you are hurt and your feelings are valid.

Your DD is 19th. They are in Spain until 18th. This is how I suspect they see it. They possibly haven't clicked you could go into labour early or that you might need them to babysit DS1.

My brother ended up being looked after by the nuns in the local convent when I was born. No idea where any of our GP or other relations were.

I think perhaps they just haven't realised.

Wow just wow! MN can be such a horrendous place full of horrible people!

Talk about being entitled; your mum did all of her child rearing when she had you she’s entitled to live her life now not wait & live it by your expectations of her; get over yourself do you have siblings? Does partner have siblings? Ask them to sit your child instead of dumping on your poor mothet

This happened to me. We and my whole family live in one country, my husbands family on the other side of the world. Due with our 3rd and my parents decided to take a 2 week trip, 16 hr flight, with my brother to help him with his 2 young kids while he did a bike race. His wife and father in law also went. They were set to return 1 day before I was due. They asked when I was due and then booked their flights. I was so disappointed. And I dont think it's unreasonable to count on people that have always made themselves available in the past, and who ask me to call her if ever I need anything. After they told me I was very upset and explained and they did change their flights. Luckily too as baby was born on her due date, accidentally at home, and very quickly, into the hands of my mum as my husband was packing the car. We have no other available support, the few people we do have also all have young children. If they can't/won't, and if you are able you could consider a home birth. It was messy because it was unplanned but honestly it was the easiest of the 3 and we got to all sleep in our own bed with no nurses coming in to interrupt every hour.

Same

sorry but this attitude is such bull. You don’t ‘finish’ being a parent at whatever arbitrary age or life event you choose. This attitude usually comes from people who used their parents as babysitters every weekend

anyone for a pint of the soured milk of human kindness? We have a whole dairyful here.

what is wrong with you people? It’s a very normal thing for a mother to think about their daughter and their grandchild. One might assume the mother might care about their own kid at a time that’s so important. Rather than fucking off overseas.
I would honestly not forgive this - and would not, even if all ended well and they were here, be having them over for cuddles any time soon. That’s on them.

I think your wording is a bit off as obv you cant expect anyone to do something however my parents would have been mortified to have missed the birth of my DCs so i understand why you are upset. They had a holiday already booked 9 days after DC2 was due and were so worried that I would go over, I dont know what my mum would have done if I hadnt had him by the time they went, she would have been so upset.

All families are different, in my family we would be hurt if any of us did something like that at an important time.

YANBU my Mum was on hand to have my other child when I went into Labour and did the same for my Sister. She would have booked a holiday after baby arrived if she wanted to go away!

I feel sad for the people who have some of the posters on this thread as parents.

It is not entitled or selfish to hope your mum will want to be supportive while you are having a baby.

My parents went on holiday at the end of one month, thinking they had a comfortable 3 weeks before the first grandchild was born. No childcare needed, just healthy level involvement. Made it back with 2 days to spare. My mum still shudders at how she ‘practically missed it’ 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mum? Is that you?😂

Baby sit, grow up, get a life and become maternal ffs

sorry, but what on earth is horrendous about suggesting the dad looks after his older child when his wife is in labour with the second. This is how thousands of people sort this every day. Not everyone has support and OP won't be alone. she will be in hospital supported by midwives. Horrible suggestion? really. I think you must have had a very pampered life if this is your idea of horror. 🤷

Perhaps you didn’t click your fingers loudly enough.

What about the other parent parenting your older child?