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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to share a room at age 27?

421 replies

Tangw · 01/05/2025 13:57

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 01/05/2025 13:59

If you don't want to share you don't want to share. I don't see why being 27 is relevant. Do you have a solution?

Original poster
Tangw · 01/05/2025 14:00

Sharing at 18/19 and a student? Not so much of a problem. Sharing at 27? Bit weird

Solution is a bigger property, but this was declined by others.

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 01/05/2025 14:02

Can't you just ask your family to rent a different property with an extra room? I presume that, as an adult, you will be chipping into the cost?

MiddleAgedDread · 01/05/2025 14:02

are you paying a share of the property rental?

Toolatetoasknow · 01/05/2025 14:05

Don't go then.
Or
Find somewhere for yourself locally.

Unreasonable to expect whole extended family to change plans because of you.

Livelaughlurgy · 01/05/2025 14:05

Have you researched a different property or just suggested? I feel people would be more inclined if you said here's a property, x is the same, y is different and z is the cost, rolls be easier to say yes.

JHound · 01/05/2025 14:05

Tangw · 01/05/2025 13:57

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

Can you just not share? Choose not to go.

toomuchfaff · 01/05/2025 14:06

Tangw · 01/05/2025 14:00

Sharing at 18/19 and a student? Not so much of a problem. Sharing at 27? Bit weird

Solution is a bigger property, but this was declined by others.

declined by others who weren't sharing with a non spouse?

mmmm wonder why?

Livelaughlurgy · 01/05/2025 14:06

Also if you don't want to share that's fine. But I don't think it's weird, I'd share with one of my cousins in a similar situation and have shared with my brother before and I'm in my late 30's.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 01/05/2025 14:07

I've been away with friends or family and will share a twin room. For me, it's just a few days and no biggie..

But if you don't want to, that's fine. Go and rent a hotel room nearby instead.

BruFord · 01/05/2025 14:08

Why don’t you do the research, find a larger property, and suggest it to everyone?

It might be that they don’t want spend the extra money-and you may feel the same way once you see how much more it’s going to cost you.

toomuchfaff · 01/05/2025 14:08

Other options, can you take a tent and stay in the grounds (some may be happy with that!), can you rent a room nearby etc.

I'd look to other options before I declined but I wouldn't share a room.

bridgetreilly · 01/05/2025 14:09

I honestly don’t think it’s at all weird for a holiday. I’ve shared with friends in this situation often, and I’m much older than you, OP. So long as it’s not sharing a bed, I think it’s fine. But if it’s not fine with you, the option is not to go.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 01/05/2025 14:12

If you don't want to share and they don't want to rent a different house then you may have to look at renting an air b&b or local hotel room.

MadeleineAllbright · 01/05/2025 14:12

Who’s paying what? That’s a pretty crucial factor here.

Blueskies25 · 01/05/2025 14:12

Tangw · 01/05/2025 14:00

Sharing at 18/19 and a student? Not so much of a problem. Sharing at 27? Bit weird

Solution is a bigger property, but this was declined by others.

Well it seems that you either go and share or don’t go at all unless you want to rent some where else on your own / pay for a hotel

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/05/2025 14:13

MadeleineAllbright · 01/05/2025 14:12

Who’s paying what? That’s a pretty crucial factor here.

This.

Dweetfidilove · 01/05/2025 14:15

If your offer to pay has been declined you are left to share/ not go/book alternative accommodation close by.

KarmenPQZ · 01/05/2025 14:15

I don’t think age has anything to do with sharing.

GRex · 01/05/2025 14:16

Who else is there who isn't sharing a room? If there were other siblings who had never taken a turn at sharing then fair enough to say it's their turn. Otherwise you'll have to book somewhere nearby to get your own room.

PurpleThistle7 · 01/05/2025 14:17

Agree that it's really all about who is paying. When things got trickier with a group of friends we went away with for several year (when the kids started coming along), we changed to a per-room charge and then people who wanted an extra room for their kids paid double, etc.

maximist · 01/05/2025 14:17

I’d happily share with a friend, but only on condition that they don’t snore!

DdraigGoch · 01/05/2025 14:19

Tangw · 01/05/2025 14:00

Sharing at 18/19 and a student? Not so much of a problem. Sharing at 27? Bit weird

Solution is a bigger property, but this was declined by others.

I'm in my thirties and use hostels when travelling. That's sharing with total strangers.

MauraLabingi · 01/05/2025 14:20

I'm 38 (can't see why that matters) and happily share with cousins. Would even share a double bed with a female cousin, and did actually do this a few times in my twenties but haven't had occasion to do so since.

You are being weird IMO. But regardless of my opinion, if you don't want to you don't want to. Your options are to pay for an upgrade to a bigger place if everyone else accepts this/stay elsewhere nearby/pitch a tent in the garden/don't go.

Kubricklayer · 01/05/2025 14:20

People of all ages share all the time. I (40) just returned from a stag weekend with DW family. Twin rooms, paired with DW cousin who I barely know. It wasn't weird at all if you don't make it weird.

Presumably you will spend a finite amount of time in the room and the week is more about socialising as a family.

Don't go if you don't want. Don't share if you don't want. However, I feel it's slightly immature to think you're too old or too 'grown up' to share.