To not want to share a room at age 27?

[Tangw]

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

It’s not unreasonable to no longer want to share and the options as I see them is for the family to agree to find a bigger property, you decline and don’t go or you find your own accommodation close by and hang out with them during the day.

Also I assume you pay for your share given you’re 27? If you don’t pay your share you have less of a chance convincing the family to look at larger and more expensive property.

Sharing a room with your mother is not the same as sharing a room with someone you seldom see. Come on.

Furthermore, some adults prefer privacy and don't want to listen to another's snoring or god knows what as the price of admission, or they have insomnia and don't want to creep about trying not to wake the roommate, etc.

Acting as though it's "precious" to not want to share a room with a distant relative is obnoxious and lacking in empathy and common sense.

The only feasible solution is renting your own place nearby.

Blimey, I've shared a room for anything from a weekend to a fortnight right into my 60s. Explore/ expedition-style holidays, holidays with friends, walking holidays, singing weekends... I'm more than twice your age, OP, and I shared with two other women when we were away for a weekend to see a band we all like. I'll be staying a hostel sharing with other women when I go to a feminist conference in October. In June a friend is celebrating a big birthday in London with a theatre trip and I'll share a room with someone because otherwise it will be crazily expensive. If I hadn't been willing to share I would have missed some of the best times in my life.

I don’t get the age thing as I am in my late 40’s and share with friends on holiday because it is cheaper and makes it tricky if no one is willing to share. I’m sharing a room with a work colleague this weekend.

If you become too precious and set in your ways it can be a bit limiting. You’ll end up being a mumsnetter who won’t answer the door in case the postman sees you haven’t hoovered.

YANBU. I would never share with anyone other than my husband. I don’t think anyone else would want to share with me either.
When you are on holiday it is nice to relax.
I think you need to state this before the accommodation is booked. Just tell them that you won’t be going if you have to share.
Why are you going? Are you contributing to the cost. Maybe next year take on the booking process.

Man... don't enter the squid games whatever you do

I wouldn’t want to share. If they aren’t happy to look for a bigger property I’d ask which of them are planning to share this time instead. That is on the basis that you’re paying towards it, if not, rent a single property nearby.

Why should couples get their own rooms if singles don't?

It might reduce the number of rooms needed if the solos just put an airbed down on the floor of a couple's room. Why should couples get privacy if the solos don't?

Or, say there are three couples and one single. Get a two-room place; one room can be the bunkroom for all the women, one room can be the bunkroom for all the men. Think of the cost savings with THAT!

Why should couples be afforded their preferences, and not forced to sleep with non household members, if singles aren't? Stop deferring to their coupleness and just stick them in whatever rooms make sense for the greater good and the greatest cost-savings, eh??

Treating singles like second-class citizens whose preferences aren't worth spending the extra money, while getting enough rooms to accommodate privacy for couples, is rude, insensitive and selfish.

I don't think it's "weird" at all. It's family fgs. I'm 34 and happily share rooms with friends and family when the situation calls. We are all poor though if that makes a difference? Me and my best friend shared a room for months due to no other options! Happily though we were both fine!

I didn't say OP was precious. Don't put words in my mouth. I said I don't see the problem.

And it is a bit rich of you of all people to talk about lacking in empathy given your comments elsewhere on this site.

People of all ages can share rooms. I'm in my mid 30's and would happily share. Your age doesn't make it weird.

But if you're not happy sharing it's fine to just say you need your own room.

It's nothing to do with age, as others have said. If you don't want to share, you don't want to share. So it's up to you to decide whether you prefer not to go / find somewhere else for the group to stay without incurring substantial further costs / camp out in the living room on an airbed / stay somewhere else.

This is my feeling as well. Sharing in that situation wouldn't be something I'd feel weird about at all - age wouldn't come into it at all. If it's the type of thing where people are trying to find a place to accommodate everyone with reasonable pricing then I'd expect to share or pay more as a single person occupying the same space as a couple.

Are you paying for the trip? If you are getting a bed/room for free then I'd just accept it.
Are there other rooms available? Do you think someone else should share but you shouldn't?

I don't think there's much difference between being 19, 27, 42... If you are single and you're offered a bed just sleep in it.

You could negotiate who you are sharing with potentially but otherwise either accept it or don't. You're in danger of seeming a bit ungrateful. Unless you just put your hand in your wallet to solve the issue you believe has arisen.

The alternative might be to sleep in a hotel separately or just not go?

What sort of room would you be sharing?

I don't share as I'm a bad sleeper & snore.

My friends who share if push comes to shove have a room with a double bed each.

Don't go or arrange your own accommodation near by. Sharing with family to keep costs down is a completely normal thing to do.

They incur costs to accommodate separate rooms for married people, even though many villas can sleep three to a room or more. And airbeds certainly can extend that.

Why is it OK if the base costs includes a room for each married/childed household but not a room for each solo household?

Single people aren't luggage that can just be stashed anywhere. Many people have multiple reasons for wanting privacy while they sleep, dress, relax, etc. and singles' reasons are just as valid as anyone else's. One room per household, regardless of household members, should be the baseline.

Unless you get on really well with that relative, want to go to bed at the same time, then I understand why you're reluctant.

If others in the family won't look at the option of a different property, is there a B&B or campsite within a short distance of the property? If not, then sadly I think you'll have to decide if you really want to go or not.

Maybe she could just put an airbed on the floor of one of the marrieds' rooms, then. Save even more money. Why not?

I shared with my sisters - I’m 43 and she is 47.

Not weird at all.

I have also gone on holiday with my mum and shared a room with her.

It depends if you are paying your adult share of the costs now or not.

Do you pay towards it?

I'm 56 and I sometimes shard with my 65yo sister if we go away.

I don't think age is anything to do with it. But if you don't want to, fine, offer a solution (one of which may be that you don't go).

Why?

I happily share at age 43. Only condition is they don’t snore. I’ll also share a bed with a few friends. I don’t think it’s a massive issue personally